aaayoungs

I was wondering how many people have had a partner who was supportive in the beginning become less so as time went on?
Also has your relationships changed for the better? Worse? How so?
I am Pre-sleeve and have a very loving, kind and supportive fiancé. We have been together since I was 16 (12 years now :-) ).
I'm scared that our relationship is going to change for the worse and either I'm going to go crazy and have an EARLY mid life crisis and become a slim party animal or he's going to become an insecure controlling a-hole. (As I have read on different WLS sites)
I love our relationship and I don't want things to change. I understand that it's impossible not to change as that is nature and we are changing all the time. But I'm NOT doing this to find another mate, or become a model. I want to be healthy and around for my kids for a long long time.
I guess I just want to know what the majority of you are going through relationship wise. This is a huge life change and I would even go as far as counseling together to make sure that he's with me at the end of this journey.
All your comments are MUCH appreciated!
-Sheena

My fiancé and I have been together 8 years and it has always been amazing. Since my surgery, it's only gotten better. I'm down 100 lbs, he can't keep his hand or eyes off me and thinks I am by far the sexiest woman. He tells me everyday how much he's always loved me, but feels so much closer to me now. I think it will be wht you make it. Yes your eating changes, but your relationship doesn't change if you don't let it. (Plus... Skinny sex is a whole nother amazing plus!!!!!!!!!!) good luck. Don't stress. If its meant to be, it will.

I think I remember hearing that good relationships stay together but bad relationships probably don't make it. Bariatric surgery divorce statistics supports this and I myself did end up getting a divorce. My ex and I both got the surgery and realized that besides food we really didn't have much in common. Not to mention I was a pretty crappy husband being obese and miserable in life and that didn't exactly strengthen our marriage either. We remain long distance friends and have moved on with our new skinny lives. I never became a party animal or a model - Im still my self - just healthier and happier. If you find your relationship having issues there is nothing wrong with a little counseling. Not to worry - if its real love and you have a good relationship now you should be ok.

I can't imagine ever wanting to stray from my husband. He's in perfect shape. 6' 185lbs and very good looking. If he's still with me and in love with me now when I'm 5'3" 280lbs, I can only see our love and attraction growing. At least I hope.

I think the fact that you are already aware that WLS is hard on relationships will help preserve your relationship. I was watching lifetime one night and there was a show on called Unfaithful, I think. Or maybe it was on OWN. Anyways, this show told the story of this girl who had gastric bypass. She gained a lot of confidence, and then started cheating on her husband. The show flashed a statistic that said 80% of all WLS patients who were married at the time if surgery, will get a divorce. It freaked me out. I decided then and there I would do everything to preserve my marriage. I know I am physically and emotionally changing. But my husband is, too. I expect him to be kind and supportive of everything I am going through, so I should absolutely be the same to him. I have seen so many friends lose weight, and all of a sudden think they are too good for their spouse. I just don't get that. This man loved me and made me feel beautiful at my heaviest. How could I ever outgrow him?!?!
So again..,I think the fact that you already place such a high importance on your relationship will help carry you through!

Hello all my name is Sami and I had my surgery on Feb 6th and I am down 40 pounds. Since I started this journey in May of 2012 I am down 102 pounds. I started out weighing 486 pounds and my first goal was to get under 400 pounds and after being weighed in last night I am proud to say I down to 384 pounds. I have decided to take small steps and make my monthly weight lose goal of 25 lbs a month. I decided to take this journey because I have 2 beautiful grand kids and I want to be able to go out side and play with them instead of staying in the house and watch them from a window. So after talking everything over with my husband I decided to have the surgery and to be honest it was the best decision I have made in a long time!

I just had mine out due to losing weight before surgery. I've lost 51 pounds in 2 months. I just went low carbs and low fats with lots of exercise. I'm now seeing though that most people are having it out afterwards. Not sure why or if they are related.

April 2nd here
5'8
286
Size 22 pants
3xl shirts

That last bit says a lot. You asserted your needs, than devalued them by saying they are silly. This surgery is about losing weight, but the journey includes finding your power and your voice. Speaking for myself, I used food to push down feelings. No way to do that now. Find your power girl! You have to take care of your children's mother and your husband's wife. If you don't who will?

I spoke with Alma today n set my date for April 4th.. I'm so excited
Sent from my iPhone using VST

Trying to get approved for April 15th at Mi' Clinic in Tiajuana.

Trying to get approved for April 15th at Mi' Clinic in Tiajuana.