devichan

If mine thins a lot, I'm thinking of getting it African-style braided. Either that, or starting to wear a headscarf - there are so many beautiful fabrics out there and I can knit too.

Does it come back, though?

Wow, Rebeca... I think you're right. You look so very much like me when I was in my 20s. Right down to the size. The hair color in your profile pic is somewhat darker than mine, but yeah. And I don't take it in a mean way. I might still be your size if I hadn't killed my knees. (And I love the pink-hair passport thing. I can just imagine the "seriously, WTH?" looks. ) Feel free to message and geek with me about things.

Thanks, Kenai, sorry I missed your reply! I'm going to Unity. I really like the doctors there. Plus the practice is really close to work. Today was my first psychiatrist appointment. I wasn't worried about this until we met, but now I'm a bit concerned. What if he decides I'm not ready because I like myself as I am? Surely I can't be the first size-positive person having surgery for health reasons? Nerves and more nerves.

Could someone let me know when's the best time to take my B-complex pre-surgery? Mornings, noons, evenings? With food/without food? Also, after surgery, is it OK to crush up B-complex and put it in a drink?

My husband just got his CPAP in December and BOTH of us sleep better now. Like you, he was nervous. I can tell you they have several kinds of CPAP. He actually found out he sleeps best with the full mask, but others' milage varies and you should try different kinds of facial appliances until you find the right one for you. My husband no longer wakes up a lot at night. He used to be a two- or three-bathroom-run guy, but now he sleeps right through. He no longer wakes up with headaches or groggy. His snoring is virtually gone, and when he does snore it's because he's gotten himself into a weird position or has a cold. I sleep better because I'm no longer waking up and nudging him to start breathing or shift position to ease snores that used to be audible on another floor. Yes, this is getting you approved for surgery, but being diagnosed is really a gift. You will have so much more energy later. Please do the second study and let go of your worries. Like the surgery, this is taking steps to protect your health before something drastic happens. **hugs if you want them!**

I'm early in the process of getting ready, but I know this'll be a big one for me. I'm starting to practice now (with no surgery date in sight yet). When I'm at work I set a timer on my Outlook that tells me when I can next drink. Next week I'm starting to set timers to do it on the weekend on my phone. It's getting easier as the days go by.

Awe. Some. Thank you! :)

I don't have any advice, but I wanted to say a) it's awesome to see people casually using another language on here, and could you translate for those of us following the conversation? I don't trust Babelfish.

I know so many of you will be able to relate, so please sing along if you know the words! It still amazes me how powerful things that happen in childhood can be. In my case as in so many others', there was no safety from fat criticism at home. In fact, my worst critic was there every night: my mother. My Dad came from a family of alcoholic men and settled in to be one himself. He was also fat, as was my older brother. My younger sisters took after my former-ballerina mother. Mom didn't criticize Dad's drinking in front of us, but his weight? Oh, yeah, that was fair game. Dad and my brother (affectionately known as Doc) and I were all geeky and book-oriented. Rather than running around the yard playing tag, I wanted to read books inside. My first gym teacher was apoplectic at my utter lack of love for sports and running. Mom didn't care so much about that - she still tells the story of how she utterly destroyed the teacher when the teacher called to complain that I didn't know how to skip - but she did care very much about my weight. I don't want to talk yet in-depth about what she said. The post would need a trigger warning if I did. We all know the words, anyway. Years later, I am so very unwilling to tell my family about what I'm doing. Every time I have taken initiative on a health decision, my family has found a way to credit someone else with telling me to do it. My brother-in-law got banded last October, and I know for sure that if I tell my family what I'm considering they'll have two reactions at once: Tell me I'm utterly insane for mutilating myself and also (in the same conversation) it's a good thing I'm FINALLY getting a brain, because W. looks so much better now and I should have done this years ago. I can't tell my sisters, because they'll run straight to Mom. I can't tell my brother, because he lives with Mom while he's looking for work. (These are the brothers and sisters who had an actual, sit-down-and-come-to-Jesus intervention with me when I said I was going to move to Minnesota. Good thing I don't drink or do drugs.) It hurts that I cannot rely on any support from my blood family. It hurts more than I can say. My friends and loves are totally behind me and supportive. Why can't my family be?

Thanks so much, jibstep. It just frosts me that I can't trust my own blood. And the worst part of it is that they love me, but we just can't communicate. Ah well. My heart-family is on my side, completely and without reservation, and some of my spiritual community have already said they will come to the hospital and pray over me post-surgery for better healing.

Today was the first visit with the nutritionist. Once again, the office staff was kind and full of warmth. I've maintained since my first visit, but I wasn't trying to get weight off yet. For the insurance supervised diet hoop, I am to go on a 1500 kCal/day regimen. She was very specific about what each serving meant. I know I can drop weight on this plan; I've done it so often before. At least with the weather (nominally, this is Minnesota!) improving walking will be more of a possibility. Next week, I go to my PCP to document what I'm doing. Whee, insurance hoops. So here I am, eating my lunch with chopsticks. I've cut it into tiny bites. Practicing. Refining. Journeying.

I haven't had my sleeve yet, but I have to tell you that having gall bladder surgery 12 years ago was one of the best things I ever could have done for myself. I'd been having gall bladder attacks since my 20s. As a lifelong fat person, no one really wanted to look too closely. I was told I had an ulcer, GERD, and to take Prilosec (before it was available OTC). The one thing everyone was sure about was that it was not a heart attack. Finally, after one night spent in agony to the point I couldn't sit still (and I was at work, too!), a wonderful, kind doctor at an Urgent Care Doc-In-The-Box told me he was sure it wasn't an ulcer. He recommended I get chcked for H Pylori, and if not get an ultrasound to check my gall bladder. Sure enough, I was H. pylori negative... but I had a single gallstone the size of a dime. In six months, I would have had too much scarring to have laparoscopic surgery. They took the whole thing out. Before the surgery, it wasn't just fatty foods that I couldn't eat. I could have lived with that. But chocolate, tomatoes... finally even garlic were setting off that darn thing. After surgery, I could eat just fine. I didn't have the loose bowels issue that a lot of people do. Even more, though, was that I had been in constant, low-grade pain for YEARS that I never noticed. My sister was even worse - like Webchickadee, she had it badly infected. It didn't even show up as inflamed, but she was in such pain they did exploratory surgery and the thing was a mass of ick. I know you're scared, but I gotta tell ya, I have fewer than zero regrets and I hope in a year you'll feel the same.

I'm trying to think of ways to make the changes I'll be making fun. One thing I've thought of is making my lunches both pre- and post-surgery with a bento box. I was thinking of getting little, decorate-able containers for Protein powders, skim milk powder, and arranging them in cute ways with bouillon cubes and drink mix packets for the first few weeks and then little spice containers for my purees and later meals. It'll let me measure things more precisely and look cute instead of "a bunch of powder." It really won't take any longer than measuring stuff already does. I was also thinking of starting to slow down my meals by cutting them up into tiny bites (as I'll need to later anyway) and learning to use chopsticks. What do people think of this? Has anyone done anything similar, tried it? Am I nuts?

Ooh! I love the thought of using the little Chinese cups instead of toddler bowls. What a great idea! Pamper myself with something nice... I like it!

First appointment was this morning. I'm reassured by the bariatric nurse understanding that some fat people love their bodies, and her compassion for my knee issues. I have my binder and am already beginning to work on my insurance requirements. I've been having nightmares about this, but still. What's best for me, right?

I'm in Bloomington and had my first appointment with Dr. July's office in Fridley this morning.

I'm trying to get in the habit of small, frequent amounts of fluid before I even have my consult. I've set up an Outlook reminder at work that reminds me to sip. It goes off every ten minutes, so every ten minutes I'm getting at least a bit of fluid. I hope it'll help!

Thank you to everyone who responded and wished me luck! It helps. Kendra: Thank you for your warmth! Yes... it is about possibilities. I'm just having a hard time dealing with probabilities and definites. Strangefruit: You're not going to scare me. I'm already scared! I think I'm more sad, though, that I've reached the point where this is and pain are the only options. Amazon13: Thank you for your empathy. I am so glad you're doing well, and I hope in a year and a half I feel the way you do! Carols5417: I'm not on Celebrex because my doctor seems to have the attitude I deserve this. I've asked for stronger meds and been refused because I'm not 50 or something. **sigh** Thank you for sharing that it can and does get better. kiki1196: Thank you for sharing your husband with those he serves and protects! Let me know when you get your date. Maybe we can buddy up!