DeLarla

HELLO, Teresa, do you NOW see why I've been drinking so much lately? I was doing the same upsy-downsey emotional thing and got hooked on Bloody Marys over night. But then someone said, "maybe you just really love tomato juice." YUCK. I hate tomato juice. But I started drinking Virgin Marys over the weekend, and apparently I'm just crazy about Virgin Marys. I'm drinking one right now. It's all I thought about all night at my second job. And I'm going straight to heaven drinking it. Hot, spicy, extra lime juice - I'll probably have one for Breakfast. I guess what I'm saying is that the whole band thing is making my head act strange. I'm going on these weird craving trips even though I'm not pregnant. For the past week I've lived off of salted peanuts in the shell - I simply must have them. Before that it was chicken (the kind that grows on vines.) Before that I'd have killed for asparagus. Now I'm the trouble maker around here so let me do my job. By the way, I'm so exhausted I can't think straight, so I'm not quite sure what I'm saying. Listen to Dr. Penni, she knows what she's talkin' bout. xo

I'm getting e-mails saying that some people tried to send me private messages but my box was full. It was not full! It's empty right now and I'm still getting the full message. WHO BANDED MY BOX? dork

Knock it off, Teresa, I'm only kidding and you know it. I'm eating Mac & Cheese right now so I didn't have to kill any goats or anything. But I did have to pick the noodles from the macaroni tree. I hope I didn't hurt it.

Okay everyone, I made a fancy doctor appointment. I see my Gastroenterologist on FRIDAY THE 13TH.... oohhh, creepy. And I started another round of antibiotics today since my boo-boo is a little infected still (again, still, who knows?) Penni, thanks for the info!

Telli, I'm gonna be late to work just so I can yell at you... YOU CAN'T EAT THE LOBSTERS FROM THE PETTING ZOO! I'm dying here thinking of you at the aquarium with your mouth drooling. You are banned from the aquarium. And the zoo! Candy, I'm not sure where it comes from... I must have bologna in my underwear.

Penni, that was a lot of info! Can you PM me and explain the difference between the endo and the lapro? I know the endo entails a camera since I've had one before. But when you talk about laproscopy, is that where they scope your guts with a little camera through the surgical incision? Dr. Kuri did not do an endoscopy on me, but he was inside me when he removed the port. Before they closed me, they did a thorough cleaning (very odd sensation like they were plunging my insides.) As far as my drinking, I never drank while on antibiotics except for the day before having my port removed since that one day was 4 days long. I could use a drink now though after reading this post joking).

Some people strive for a fat bank account, others for a big family, some for tons of fancy initials after their name... we all have our own ideas about success. Mine is all about enjoying life, having fun, and laughing as often as possible. I'm a huge success. I'm glad I can say that. And now I have some cute pants. Cute things are another priority. Shallow, maybe. Happy, definitely.

I already put myself on restriction starting today. The remainder of July is dedicated to getting my exercise back on track. As far as my drinking, even Chris said I've had more alcohol since my band than in the entire decade. Alex, yes, I've been drinking too much... it's weird. It's been over 5 years since I've had so much as a glass of wine on a weekday. The whole port protrusion thing started it when someone offered me a glass of Zinfandel to help me relax. Of all things, I tolerated it better than broth, and it made me not care that tubes were sticking out of me. I swear, I turned into a drinker in one month at 41 years old. Yes, I drank a lot in my youth... 20 years ago. But it's so weird that suddenly I can understand the alcoholic mentality. Tonight I had a cherry slurpie. Not the best choice, but I worked my butt off today and didn't have dinner (yeah, restriction!) I can't even imagine making any more doctor appointments, but I guess I should. With my insurance, first I have to see my Primary, who refers me to the gastro. Then the gastro refers me to the lab. Then the lab refers me back to the gastro for results. So it's 4 appointments in the middle of the busiest I've been in years at work in addition to taking time off for 2 recent surgeries plus my camping trip. And my gastroenterologist just moved to the other side of Planet Vegas. Another reason I'm hesitant to have my band scoped is because other than the port incision, I'm not having symptoms. If I get scoped and they find erosion, it will only mean removal, which would put me over the edge right now because if someone told me they were removing my band, I'm sure I'd opt for a bypass. EEK. But I'm done being obese. Period. Meanwhile, I'm starting another round of antibiotics. Penni, sorry I chased you in the corner, but now it looks like it's my turn to cower. Guys, be tough with me cause I'm a stubborn one! As far as scaring new people away... Yes, I've been dragged through the mud with my band and port. Yes, it's cost me over $10,000.00 so far. Yes, I'm working 2 jobs to pay for it. Yes, I'm infected again. But YES, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

My friend, Brad, thinks vegetarians should be shot. He says we have to kill and eat cows because their manure destroys the ozone, while carrots and vegetables growing supply us with necessary oxygen. He also thinks meatloaf if evil. Meatloaf is just a place to hide evil vegetables. He says carrots don't "crunch" when you eat them, that noise is them screaming. Great, now I gotta feel guilty for eating salad.

Teresa, I'm right and you're wrong. That's all there is too it. If I weren't so darn tired, I'd come up with some clever justification (aka B.S.) like crabs and fish don't have fur? Poor little crab. How will I sleep tonight? I got my first check from The Avenue today. It was $19.00. So I spent $21. I only worked 4 hours and socked a whopping $5 away, but I'm not really working for the dough. However, I'm sending the $19 to my band credit card even though I already made the payment this month since it's zero percent interest for a year. But what's more important are these really cute black linen capri pants with white embroidered detail all over one leg. And, I squeezed into a size 20 today. Sure, the pants resembled more like pantihose, but damnit, I got them zipped. I liked working there today. It was fun, and I was on my feet 5 full hours so I feel I earned my day.

*** as her head spins off her neck and slams across the wall*** Penni, I'm ashamed of you. Of all people, to consider port-revision before an endoscopy after Dr. Bill said erosion was a minor possibility? Come on, girl, you know better! Actually, I'm not ashamed of you, I'm damn proud to know you. This is serious stuff cuz I leaned on Donali the hardest through my whole surgery. To think she had her band removed is unthinkable. Now Penni, you've been my personal nurse, so for you to have erosion isn't even in my realm of thinking. So get your ass to the doc and have the scope done. As far as my infection is concerned, I guess at this point, I'd be proud to be in Donali's court having my band removed. I can say that clearly now since I've had a couple coctails... no, I don't want my band removed, but it's certain that my body is rejecting the foreigh object. My port incision is infected again... still... actually, again and still. Penni, I'm hoping the best for you. All my love... Lis

Thanks, Teresa. I just puked out my liquid dinner. Don't you know that meat is not real? It does not come from dough-eyed cows or pinkley little piggies. It's just stuff fabricated in factories. Nobody eats things with horns, we just feed them grass and flowers grown in meadows. The stuff we buy in grocery stores is just artificially-processed-foodstuff. Gosh, will somebody please help me explain to Teresa that we don't eat fur babies? Penni, I was waiting for the line that those jeans fit you now, so tell daughter to wash them in cold and line dry them. Soon. Real soon!

I want to show you guys my inspiration. I'm sitting in my home office with my tube sticking out of my incision, one more day of misery before I see the doctor, and attached are the reasons I continue to smile. Kitty Milo is right under my feet on his skanky-blankie. Voodoo is at my feet on his skanky-blankie, and Sachi has her head laying on my knee. They know Mamma is hurting, but they are here taking care of me.

S-Joe, I like a doctor who knows his percentages, but I learned some info from Inamed that I'll share here. First, the numbers can be off because all doctors are supposed to report slippages, infections, erosions, etc. to Inamed. But a lot of doctors fail to report their problems. Maybe they think it makes them look like better surgeon if they don't have problems, so they don't report them.. who knows? Inamed told me that there's one Mexican doctor that reports everything. If the rest of the doctors reported things like they were supposed to, we'd all have better, more accurate numbers. However, I've read all over these boards and it seems the general consensus for erosion is 1-3%. But slippage is completely different, isn't it? Does slippage mean band-removal? I don't know much... I just share what I hear. xo

What's rumake? Am I spelling it wrong? Rumaki? It's a Chinese (or some Asian) appetizer. A tiny bit of chicken liver & water chestnut wrapped in bacon & coated in teriaki sauce sprinkled with sesame seeds. Some places dip them in batter & deep fry before dipping in the sauce & seeds. But I haven't seen them on a menu in years, and they're a bitch to make. Shoot, now I'm going to have to make them this weekend. I just wrap it all up, then drizzle with honey & seeds before baking... gets all crispy & gooey. It's a very easy way to get liver down! But it's really hard for me to get them down because my hog (Chris) thinks the whole batch is for him.

My sweet restriction came back for a little lunch visit. Let's hope she stays around till dinner!

Teresa, your barometric pressure suggestion could possibly remain on key since I apparently come from another planet where things work backwards. The only way I could eat liver if it were wrapped in bacon & onions and soaked in ketchup. Or in rumake. Mmm, when is the last time we had rumake?

Penni, maybe you are a firsty! But everyone please report all problems to Inamed from now on. I learned that all doctors are required to report all port problems, infections, erosions, etc. However, not all doctors are reporting. So maybe this happened before... heck, maybe one doctor, who shall remain nameless, has had 100 bunched up ports? Whack!

Someone told me long ago that I'd eventually feel full in both my pouch and my lower stomach. Maybe now that my port surgery is setting, I'm just now feeling my lower stomach again. And I'm feeling fullness down there. It's a new sensation, and I'm not sure I like it. I think my port area swelling really kept my restriction tight. Last night I wasn't even hungry when I ate dinner, but I had a large salad anyway. Yes, the compulsive food thoughts came back, and I ate a few pieces of turkey jerkey. So far, I'm really impressed with that "estrogen" theory that it's causing major munchie attacks, because that's exactly how I feel. All hormoney. Teresa, I make purses and welding caps and skull caps. When I get in moods, I make a bunch. I'm backed up on orders now, so I need to get back to work. However, I think I'm anemica (since I've been in the past) and I need to start Iron pills again. I hate taking them since they cause major constipation, but I'm going to buy some. I've been much better than ever in my entire life about taking my daily Vitamins, but I noticed none are high in iron. Or I need a B-12 injection. I lay in bed for an hour and a half before forcing myself up, which is really unlike me. As far as flying, I certainly know that pressure affects me moreso than anyone I've ever met. Everything goes to hell when I fly. Then again, I'm the only one that bounces off walls at the top of The Stratosphere. Once I was in a New York penthouse, top floor, and I actually fell over because my equilibrium became so out of whack at such a high altitude. Thanks you guys. I feel like I owe you all so much. xo

Janie, are you having successful weight loss? When were you banded? It would make me feel better if I knew others were like me.

A lying cheating sexual drunken sociopath? Who, me? The only thing that might save my soul is that I was able to answer "no" to cheating. For those of you who think you're safe since you answered in the present, uh, look at the questions again. It didn't say to answer according to today's date. The questions say, "did you ever..." so our youth must count?

When are mini skirts and rubber go-go boots coming back? I'm ready! And I remember that cartoon!

Every time I see the name Penni, I think of Penny Pringleton. Many moons agon I went to broadcasting school. We used to have to make complete commercials with sound effects, characters, etc. Me & my lab partner made this hysterical Pringles commercial, and I played the roll of Penny Pringleton. Too bad I can't find my old tapes. What a riot. It's either laugh or cry in my world!

I don't get it. Were there supposed to be some "no" answers? You should ban me from the board because now you're all guilty by association and going straight to hell.

Some days I have the chew-chew thing down, but other days I forget. Too many years of 2 chews and a swallow.