DeLarla

Before my band surgery, I decided on the gastric bypass since my insurance covers it (but doesn't cover the band.) My insurance required a referral from my primary doctor, but when I asked my doc for the referral she almost cried. She drew a diagram of the stomach and showed me how the bottom portion of the stomach produces enzymes and has all these really important digestive properties. After a bypass, the bottom portion of the stomach no longer functions, so you don't absorb nutrition or have effective digetion. Maybe I didn't explain that in exact medical terms, but I think you get my drift. So I had to re-think my decision. However, the next day I ran into my buddy, who is a radiologist, so I told him I was considering a bypass. He just put his head down and became very sad. He said, "please don't do that." Then he told me he sees so, so many problems with bypass patients. Being a radiologits, he regularly takes MRI, CAT scans, etc., of people with major bypass-related problems. He's seen so many horror stories that I couldn't bring myself to get a bypass. Plus my friend had one 10 years ago and has gained back all her weight. She's now spending several thousand at Kaiser on some crazy Optifast diet program. So my husband told me to get the band. I had to get a new credit card to pay for the band, and now our mortgage and all our bills are late, but I'm sure glad I got the band.

My port was removed 6/17, and the area is still discolored. Kinda looks bruised, then again I have bad scarring from the allergic reactions to the bandages. Can you believe I actually had bad blisters from bandages? As if I don't have enough port issues.

Consider yourself lucky if all he needs to do is re-position your port! My port became such a problem that my doctor had to do a 2nd surgery to remove the port. He gave me my first fill before he removed it, but I can't have another fill till I'm completely healed and have a 3rd surgery to put a new port in. And I'm a slow healer, so I probably won't have a port put back in for many moons. Good luck with the revision... I'm a little jealous of you guys. Hey, Penni, how's your port feeling these days?

It's so nice to see your foxy face here, Don-Don. WAVE YOUR ARMS ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND SING WITH ME..... Let the sunshine, let the sunshine in, the su-unn... shine in....

Hey, my friends are bilingual and they'll translate for a 6-pack. Sorry, couldn't resist. Bugging out now... EEK.

Penni, don't mess with me or I'll have a $60.00 Nothing Bundt Cake with extra cream cheese frosting delivered to your front door. Feeds like 30. I'm calling to see what the cake-of-the-day is... maybe Double Fudge Gooey Glob... go ahead, make my day! Joo wanna mess wid me?

Sniff sniff... I smell sarcasm.

I guess I made some progress then, since I had to stop eating at lunch since my pants got too tight. In the past, I'd just have unzipped them and kept on eating. I think my band is going to pop today and shoot out of my throat and hit someone in the eye because my jeans are so tight! But hey, they fit!

You guys ought to put your money one Penni, cause I already blew it! I brougth cottage cheese and baby carrots, but someone brought me deep fried fish, which I naturally ate in abundance. Wait, free food doesn't have calories, does it?

You know what, Penni? You may have just started something you can't finish. GAME ON. See you in October... bring your scale if you think I'll rig mine. Don't you dare challenge me! This is Vegas, baby, so lay down your bet. WOOF. ***revs engine & gets ready to rumble***

Kimber, you lucky girl! It might have seemed like a long wait, but I don't think that approval took long at all! You'll be banded in no time flat. Funny Carhart comment... do they have any plus size overalls?

I'm just seeing this, too. So Happy Birthday, and I'm with Donali, if you wanna get spanked, it's your birthday!

Shhh, I'm at work too. I got a good night sleep so I'm not all funky and gloomy today. Not getting good sleep is just as sick (for me) than over eating. I have no reason to stay up past bed time, but I do it as yet another form of self-destruction. When I sleep good, I eat good. When I eat good, I sleep good. So I had my little Protein shake and already drank a good amount of Water. Today I'm wearing the tightest size 22 jeans you could imagine, but I'm sitting and breathing a little... I've NEVER worn these cute jean capris before because I bought them too small... I wore them once because I was meeting my husband's ex-wife and wanted to be all sucked in, but I was so miserable that they were cutting off circulation, so I only wore them for an hour. Today they're pretty tight and my belly is hanging over, but I'm wearing a loose blouse so nobody needs to know. So my tight pants don't give me the option of eating today. I have some baby carrots and cottage cheese. Hope you all have a great day! Oh, as far as elevating the bed, you should call a bed or furniture store... or was it a medical supply store? Anyway, I saw special rubber kinda blocks made specially to elevate the head of your bed. Or you can just get some wood blocks from Home Depot. Just pop them under the head of your bed so you're head is higher than your stomach.

I couldn't go to bed because there are still posts to read. Nobody liked my suggestion of turning into an alcoholic, so I guess I'm bad at advice. Let's go to bed and wake up in a new, happy, healthy place. I'll eat good tomorrow if you do, k Sissy?

Leatha, didn't I see your screen name as Leathal earlier, or was I just hoping you were one of us?

Quote "How you run families riddled with grief and sorrow. How you face the tears, trials and terrors of each day with a smile and a flip of the hair" Nice write, Ryan, but I'm more of a finger flipper than a hair flipper! You got me laughing... it's safe to go to sleep now. Thanks for that. Good stuff. Oh, I hope you simply forgot to add these movies, but just in case, please run and buy them immediately: HAIR Lorenzo's Oil Shawshank Redemption Silkwood My Life Not necessarily in that order, but get them because they belong on that list!

Yeah, and when your husband goes to bed at 6:30 p.m., and you laugh so hard that pee comes out, doesn't that pass for sex as well?

Okay, I'll lay my skinny clothes out for morning & go to sleep now. Thanks! Nighty night!

Sometimes we forget the good stuff and eat. Here my Kitty is walking all over my lap, across my head, on my shoulders, and I pushed him away to reach for the Pringles. My dogs are at my feet begging for affection. I just remembered that I need to pick up Kitty, who I've had since before I ever met my husband 13 years ago. It used to be just me and Kitty, yet I push him away for Pringles when all he wants to do is show me how much he loves me? I'm taking my fur babies to the living room to watch TV now. Thanks for chatting with me Michelle... I had my big glass of water and won't eat any more tonight. xoxo to you all!

Here's another topic that makes me wanna puke. Band marketing is so rampant that it needs to be stopped like telemarketers. The local doctors require you to attend a mandatory seminar before you can even make a consultation appointment. They hold the seminars on a regular basis, and there were about 200 people there. I felt like they were herding cattle. We sat for 3 hours listening to band vs. bypass, and both doctors were there as if they cared and wanted us to be happy. They were so caring and loving and treated each one of us like we were human... but when my port became badly infected and the tube was popping out of the infected incision, they told me to get lost. If they cared so much, they'd have helped me. Now we have Anita and Diane blowing sparkling fairy dust up Lopez's butt when he caused my current situation. Here I sit with no port, with the incision still leaking and infected, and I lost my restriction. Sure, it might come back in a couple days, but there's no hope for a new port in my future, so if my restriction is gone, what good is my band. I sure hope Anita makes her quota this month.

Daddy, you just made me cry. I realize the grass is always greener on the other side, but I want to trade my husband in for you. I don't know any guy that talks/writes the way you do. It's what I crave. I'm lucky to get a two-syllable grunt out of my husband. Usually just one "ugg" is all I get. And for the record, I the food isn't secretly killing me. It has no problem killing me publicly. Not long ago I had a mental breakdown over a stupid Weight Watchers scale. I started crying because after a lifetime of dieting, I couldn't do one more measure, weight, food diary, etc. I wanted to die, so I did the right thing and called the emergency help line that is on a magnet on the fridge (must have come with my insurance card.) I'll have to look up the true meaning of "crisis" because the "Crisis Line" made me an appointment with a counselor... three weeks away. Gee, should I hold the noose for three weeks? So I waited for the appointment. When I met the new counselor, I asked, "what would you do if I told you I was killing myself tonight." And she turned white and jumped to the edge of her chair, reached for the phone and said, "I'm sorry but I'm forced to call the authorities." When she realized I didn't have a gun to my head, she relaxed a tad and asked how I was going to kill myself. I said, "Oh, I'm already killing myself by eating myself to death, because I have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart murmer, anxiety disorder, GERD, reflux, and a history of stroke and diabetes." She took one, big sign of relief, put down the phone, and sunk back into her chair. I told her I was holding her personally responsible for my life, and she just shucked it off like I just described a hang nail or an eyelash in my eye. Needless to say I never went back. I did write a novel to my insurance company, thanking them for caring so much, but they never responded. I just dig it that you responded... just what I needed. What movie is your wife watching over and over, and does she wanna share those drugs? I want to "not know" stuff right now. What kinda uniform? Please don't say fireman... that would put me over the edge.

When I don't get enough sleep, I don't have enough energy to deal with my band. It's like there's the crazy DeLarla side of me, the serious Lisa side, the ballsy Louis side, and now the band wants to take over all of us. Why doesn't it just sit there and look pretty and do its job like I want it to do? I went from Super-Restriction-Girl to Binge-Like-You-Used-To. I ate horribly tonight... just really, really bad. Fried food, butter, lardass Cookies, Pringles, chocolate milk. I ought to go to McDonald's and supersize a couple meal deals while I'm at it. I'll shut up now. I'm being a cranky baby cause I stayed up too late last night on this board. No, no, no. Tonight I'm going to bed baby-early.

P.S.S. Maybe it's my financial stress... anyone got an extra ten or twenty grand they don't need? DeLarla, shut up. No, you shut up, Lisa. If you two don't stop fighting I'm gonna shutta you both up. SHUT SHUT UP UP LOUIS LOUIS. Where's that pill? We'll take 3.

P.S. Somebody hold me.

Michelle, can you come sooner... like NOW? HELP, I just binged. I've been eating an hour straight. I hate this F!$!^&@#$%ING disease! I feel like crying. Sure, I know it's normal to go off the deep end from time to time, but it's exhausting being mentally ill. It's hard enough dealing with my psycho family (who have been adjudicated insane by real judges) but to have to deal with the insanity of eating crap that I don't want, that doesn't taste good, that makes me feel sick, makes my body sick, destroys my mind, and makes me fat is more than I feel like dealing with right now. Anyone got a big, fat, pretty pill?