DeLarla

I asked the "edit button" question earlier. It's on some posts but gone from others. What next? HELP!

I have been in a deep funk and eating every thing not nailed down plus some of the nails and nailed down stuff. I think I had to hit rock-bottom again, cause today I'm feeling a little spunky again. I got really tired of driving all over town getting the dressing changed on my wound, so yesterday I sucked up and did it myself. It was the first time actually looking at the thing, and it's worse than I imagined. I can't believe this disgusting hole. And I'm just starting to come to terms with my new deformity. The entire area will be a sunken in cave with a hideous scar if it ever closes. I remember Dr. Billy telling me I'll probably want plastic surgery to fix the area. I hate the hole. I really hate it. Then the weirdest thing in the world happened on Monday. I'm hesitant to post about it because it seriously makes me gag, but I ran into the local Lapband surgeon - the one that refused to help me when my tube was sticking out of the infected port! I swear, it was the weirdest thing: I was at the pharmacy counter going through my wallet to pay for new surgical supplies for the wound, when a voice behind me says, "you have a LapBand?" I turn to find a skinny old man, so I said, "how do you know?" He saw my LapBand card in my wallet and told me he's a local Band surgeon. I said, "NO WAY, you're not Doctor Fisher, are you?" He said yes. He saw Dr. Lopez-Corvala's name on my card and said "Corvala is my best friend!" With that, I nearly puked. I asked him why he refused to treat his best friend's infected patient with tubes sticking out of an open surgical incision! The SOB actually had the balls to lie to me and say he knew nothing about it. 1. I spoke with his office twice telling them Lopez gave me a direct referral to Fisher and that they are best friends and that my tube was infected and sticking out, and he refused to take my call, call me back, or see me. 2. Ann Marie (let's not bash her for one second) met with Fisher directly about me. She was trying desperately to help me get fixed since my problem was making her business with Lopez look bad, and she ran into Fisher in an elevator and he told her he couldn't help me due to his med mal insurance, not even as a personal favor. So here's this doctor lying to my face in the pharmacy. I exchanged quite a few words with him, I even broke down crying in the middle of the pharmacy and practically begged him to replace my port once I'm healed. No, no, no. He won't lift a damn finger for me. I asked why he promised his "best friend" that he'd care for all his patients, and he said, "I will care for any emergencies." He even agreed a protruding tube was an emergency. Funny, even Dr. Billy's PA in Ventura, California knew of the famous Lopez-Vegas-LapBand-Patient-with-infected-protruding-tube, yet Fisher looked me in the eye and said he didn't know. There's more to the story, but have you ever been so blown away, so angry, so hurt, so humilated, so used, so abused, and so neglected that you just can't even speak? That's where I've been the last couple days. BUT (horns tooting) I think I'm back. I got up extra early, took a long sweaty walk with my pooches, did some laundry, and stared a food journal. I ate a whole wheat tort with cheese and Vitamins for Breakfast. Gonna fill up my Water now and hopefully start feeling better. I plan on writing a very long novel/letter about my experience. Dr. Fisher makes me want to puke. Honestly, the man cares more about money and his reputation then he does about hurt human beings. I could never turn down a patient, no matter what the possible repurcussions. I even told him I'd sign a legal waiver protecting him, but he still turned me down. I even asked him if he'd give me a fill if I ever get a new port. Nope, nada, nill, zippo, zilch. I hate that tiny little man. So the FDA will be hearing from me, as will Inamed and Dr. Fisher. Enough is enough.

Nana, do not post here again till you have a doctor's appointment! You worry me, so get on the phone and get to the doc quick hop like a bunny. Hurry back, too.

Brenda, what a relief! Thanks for updating us. Let us know how things go as the days pass.

Michelle, you're a lucky woman. I guess all our men have faults, but you got one thing I wish I had, which is a hubby that slows down at the table to spend more time with you. Chris chews twice then swallows. The worst part is that he stares at my food, which scares me cuz I think he's gonna take it!

The big red "Y" means that person has Yahoo Instant Message. If you click on the "Y" you can send them an instant message if you also have it. Mine shows a little yellow running person, which means I have AIM Instant Message. Just click on the yellow man to talk with me. I'm a Libra, so I like the scales in the top right corner, but everyone has scales. Are we all Libras? Odd.

Loud eaters are gross! Even at my fattest, I was very conscious about eating noises. My husband makes all kinds of man noises, too. But I'm not afraid to tell him! Sometimes I get mad that I even have to tell him, so I simply pick up my plate and walk in the other room. Then he wants to know why I'm leaving, so I tell him he's grossing me out. That always makes him slow down cuz he wants me to sit with him. Same with stupid man TV. I stopped nagging years ago cuz it didn't get me anywhere. Now I leave the room, which offends him. He wants me near, so he changes the channel.

One thing that bugs the heck out of me is that nobody, and I mean nobody, believes that I don't want something to drink with my meal. When the waitress asks, "what would you like to drink" I say, "nothing, thank you." Then they ask, "are you sure?" So I tell them I'm sure. Then they say, "how about some water?" Finally I get so irritated that I agree to a glass of water just to shut them up. Sounds silly, but it bugs me.

I've had lots of Band-related complications and have undergone several surgeries to remove and replace my ports. If I want another port, I'll need another operation. My incision is hideous and I still don't have a port, but nothing I've gone through has been considered an emergency. I can only worry about today. Just for today, the FDA considers the Band safe, and I HATE being obese, so that's good enough for me. I'll let tomorrow worry about itself.

Years ago I used to go to regular Overeaters Anonymous meetings. There was a special "Hundred Pounder" meeting on Wednesdays that focused on people that were 100 pounds or more overweight. I used to resent them, as if they thought they were special for fitting in that group. Trust me, nobody was happy about being a hundred pounder, but my screwed up head resented them for it. Then my Thursday meeting was focused on bullemia and anorexia, so I hated all those people too since I didn't fit it. Well, I eventually stopped eating and had a bout with anorexia. But I got too sick so I switched to bullemia, then finally made my way over 300 pounds. I can't believe I ever wanted to be part of a hundred-pounder group, or that I wanted to fit in with the anorexics and bullemics. It just goes to prove that you have to be really careful what you wish for, cause your wish might come true.

Betty, nice job! This thread gets better every day! Donali, thank you for finally posting that beautiful face! Far out.

There was a girl named Emily getting the Band at the same time as me. We were both the same height and only a few pounds difference. She had to do a liquid protein shake diet for a couple weeks prior to the surgery, but I didn't. It depends on what your doctor says. We both got through the operation with no complications.

I'll admit that I've had the same feelings. It's disgusting because I know that's how thin people view me. I can't help myself from staring at obese people, but I also tend to stare at strikingly beautiful women. I resent obese people and I resent beautiful people. It's all part of my mental struggle with body image.

Who's the skinny chick that took over Michelle's body?

Donali, unfortunately, the instructions might sound lame to you, but my sister has scars from a really bad iron burn on her belly. Yep, she figured she'd save time by ironing the shirt while she was wearing it. She was in her 30s. No lie. People really do need to know that they shouldn't blow dry their hair while sleeping.

The 230s felt great, but it didn't last. I gained. Poop.

I think I'd rather see a pic of Ryan's Incredible Hulk underwear than Greg in a Speedo. Can we have a vote?

Sorry, can't answer that question but wanted to say welcome anyway. I have BC/BS of California, and they refused to pay. Good luck to you.

My doc doesn't want me eating fat free foods ever again. Fat free is a big no-no for me since all the fat is replace with sugar, which just converts to fat anyway. And I personally don't eat sugar substitutes since I have an auto-immune disease, and I read somewhere that Nutrisweet could have played a roll in causing the granules on my lungs. It's the real deal or nothing for me. But Zoe, did you really have to mention a Godiva Truffle? Heaven.

I had a feeling my last comment might start the world's biggest Honey Do list! Did anyone warn Kevin about all he crazy LBT women around here?

Betty, I'm having the same problem. I get signals after only a few bites. So I just threw away 1/2 my lunch. But after 1/2 our, I want my food back. Meanwhile, my doc told me stop eating after 20 minutes. It's all so confusing! I want my lunch back!

Like, whatever. HAHAH, I'm still laughing too!

Penni, you did a fantastic job on the picture thread! You made it so easy to see all the great photos. Thank you!

My question is why haven't you done it yet? Go go go!

Kevin, why not take advantage of the situation and lay on the couch with the remote control like a normal man? Let your wife pamper you for a few days. Once you start losing weight you'll have all the energy in the world for working and fixing stuff. I'll make you a deal - lay around a few days and next week I'll let you paint my house. Fair?