DeLarla

I had the same fear of an odd object inside my body. It's weird, but what is weirder: Having a band around your belly, or having them cut your stomach up sew your intestines together? You get used to it, and if it really freaks you out, at least they can remove it.

Zoe, when I went to Billy, the exact words I used were, "I don't need a port, I need to be whacked upside the head." I hate numbers, too. They just add up too fast!

Stop thinking that you'll have to do this for a whole week. You just have to get through today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Immerse yourself in a good book that you can't put down, or get out of the house. Plan something that will distract you for several hours today. You can do this just for today.

I've always known exactly how much an ounce of pretzles has, or an ounce of cheese, but keeping with this thread I'm adding up some really honest and ugly numbers right now. I got rid of all our goodies at home and replaced it with dried fruits and nuts thinking it's a step in the right direction... wrong! I told Billy I'd be aware of how many calories my Snacks have, even if I decide to eat them all. So I measured my 12 ounce coffee mug and filled it with a mixture of cashews, wasabi dried peas and pita chips. One coffee mug isn't very big considering it will be spread out over 8 hours. WRONG! There's over 1000 calories packed in that little mug... cashews should never pass a Bandster's lips! I don't usually eat Breakfast, but I've eaten a couple ounces of this snack so far. After seeing the numbers, I pushed the cup aside. It's still here, but I'm trying to reason with it. Anyone else having trouble with portion sizes that is willing to share honestly how many calories are there?

I'm laughing because I remember them trying to trick me with that coconut liquid, as if I were drinking a Pina Colada. The stuff I had to drink was called "Cheetah." I had to drink a bottle of Cheeta (twice, actually) an hour before going in for upper GI tests. I don't think it's the same as barium, but not much different.

I was trying to take this thread seriously till Vinesqueen said, "I know I tease about being raised by wolves and I know it isn't fair to real wolves out there." Now my gut is splitting from laughing so damn hard. WHY are you being so mean to wolves???????? The best I can describe my childhood is being raised by the evil circus clown with props and scary surprises around every corner, always afraid. However, now those demons are behind me and all I'm left with are bad habits that I simply can't break. Doc Billy says, "you mean you 'won't' break." I say, "no, I CAN'T." When I am able to stop eating at night, I tear at my fingernails and cuticles till they bleed. Then I chew the insides of my cheeks and lips till they bleed. My dentist doubles as my therapist and always holds my hands and asks me to please stop making hamburger out of my lovely cheeks. food is a drug to me, which is why Billy is going about my personal dilema at a different angle. Yes, Michelle, that's the book he wants me to own. I agreed with him that I'd start memorizing serving sizes and calories even if I plan on eating the whole bag. It's okay for me to eat the entire bag as long as I agree to be happy with myself for cosuming all those calories (hopefully the idea will kick in that I won't be happy so I won't eat the whole thing.)

Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Pleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in a sleeveless shirt, we are flying squirrels in drag. Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless. Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too." Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?" In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is Water. Mid-life means that your Body by Jake now includes Legs by Rand McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin. Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "Big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, the hip area expands and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Hi Jennifer, we all share in all those same feelings. Welcome home.

Megan said, "But I'm restricted enough to PB and to have to really watch myself. It's such a fine line when you get so close to the sweetspot..." I read this sentence 5 times. If you still PB, then a fill isn't your answer. Billy said a new port would be much less expensive than I imagined. He's thinking between $1000 and $2500, and his staff will call me when he knows exactly. If they tell me $1000, that's something I could add to my already-whopping credit card, but I won't do it. I will not get a port as long as I'm still PBing from time to time. Yesterday morning I PB'd my tiny thyroid pill - I don't think I need a port. Megan, that wasn't a hijack, just another badly needed eye-opener. My new morning mantra: "I'm restricted enough to PB, I don't need a fill."

I came back here to delete this thread, which is another internal issue that I struggle with. I often write something, then later I feel really stupid for writing it. But I've got Band cops watching me who are helping me overcome my need to delete my own threads. Anyway, I came back to delete this, but after tearfully reading these responses, I'll let it ride. I almost wish I'd have taped my discussion with him because it's too complicated and twisted to repeat; he kept bringing up "calories" while I kept crying, "addiction." He'd ask me about a portion size and I'd sob back, "the entire bag." I honestly thought he was going to send me packing to the ER so he could remove the Band before I hurt myself, but somewhere within that hour we found a middle ground that we could both agree on. For now, all I need to do is "be aware" of what I'm consuming while focusing on my achievements and be willing to accept the circumstances of my choices. He actually wrote me a prescription to purchase a book that doesn't even have words in it. It's a book of food pictures (serving sizes.) I don't have the name handy, but I'll try to find it on-line tomorrow. I'm also ISO a good therapist to deal with my food issues, however, the eating disorder specialists I've seen over the years don't have a clue. When I tell them how much and what I eat, they stare at me in amazement, as if I'm a Lifetime special. Anyone know a good shrinky-dink in Vegas? I think a psycho-therapist should be included with the price of the band. Thanks right back at you all for keeping it real.

According to Dr. Billy, it's all the same. I specifically asked, for example, if the pouch might get so stretched out that it would spill over the sides of the band. No, no, no. That's not what happens, instead, the band slips down. After it slips, you don't have the small pouch up on top any more, but instead you have a bigger pouch - NOT because it stretched, but because the band slipped down. It's easier for a morbidly obese person to say, "my band slipped" then to say, "I overate and caused my pouch to stretch." Blame it on the band, right? It's a painful realization (to me, anyway) because it would ultimately be my fault if my band slipped due to overeating, but is it really my fault since I'm plagued with this disease of compulsive addiction? That's the way it was explained to me. If anyone else has a more accurate explanation, please share.

I probably would have answered different last week and told you to wait. But I'm feeling emotionally well-balanced at this very moment, so I'm going for the tough-love answer here. We should act like Banded people every day, regardless of vacation. If you had a fill scheduled, get the fill. Enjoy your vacation, but enjoy it as someone with a band who can eat small portions of anything. Just trying to think like a good bandster for a change.

Alex, take a good, long look at me and bomb the yogurt joint instead of walking in. My entire problem started with one bad decision. You've done this amazing job, so stick with what you've been doing. You can have frozen yogurt some other time when you don't want it so bad, okay? Does that make sense?

Darcey, I adore pink, and I noticed your avatar is surrounded by a lovely pink glow. Nice touch! That pic of the boxer on the red roses has my heart all thumpy thump... I'm very jealous cause my pretty piggy wants her picture taken on a bed of pink roses.

He can't give you a reason because there's no way for him to know how it happened. I was at my surgeon's on Saturday, and he showed me a model of the stomach with a band around it. He showed me how the band slips down, which leaves the top part of the stomach bigger. So, the pouch didn't actually expand, the band just slipped lower. I've heard the band could slip upward, too. I'm not sure how that would happen, but I sure hope your unfill settles your band back in place. Good luck to you.

Just pass the Fritos to me (got any bean dip?) I've been a naughty bandster myself. Let's try to do better tomorrow, okay?

When I was a kid I found a sample of Oil of Oley in the mail, but my mother saw me with it and snatched it away from me. She said, "THIS IS ONLY FOR GROWN-UPS!" Naturally, I snuck in her bathroom each day and massaged the naughty Fluid into my skin. That's all I've used for almost 30 years now. I've purchased other products over the years, but I always end up with the same pink bottle of Oley. It works wonders as a make-up remover. I dip a Q-tip in Oley, then roll it around my palm so it's nearly dry - perfect for cleaning up mascara from under eyes. The only other product I've been using since the Big Bang is Jafra's Almond Oil. I keep it in the shower. While wet, put a dime size blob in your hands, rub palms together and smear all over that wet, naked bod, then air dry. Any oil will work, but skin stays soft all day with no need for lotion.

I prefer a natural look. I've been using foundation since I was 15 because it protects the skin from nature's elements and has an SPF. I've spent a fortune on expensive department store make-up, but honestly, nobody has ever noticed a difference between my $50.00 foundation or my L'Oreal from the drug store. I mash a little around on all my fingertips then dap spots all over my face, then blend blend upward & outward. Bronzer just makes you look sun-kissed and can be used on eyes, cheeks, brows for a natural, sunny look. Since my eyes are now permanently defined, I just line my lips (this keeps color from bleeding outward into cracks.) I fill my lips with all-day color, then a dab of gloss. Done. The trick is to use what nature gave you and just bring out some highlights. The only time you should wear heavier make-up is at night.

Interesting, considering I had a long talk with my surgeon about pouch stretching versus slippage. According to him, there really isn't such thing as the pouch stretching or "dilating" so-to-say. What happens is the band slips down, thereby leaving the pouch bigger on the top. I asked him if packing the pouch too tight can cause this, and he said, "yes." He said it could happen if you over-eat a whole lot of times, or it could happen just from one incident, however, even a bad hiccup could essentially slip the band. I asked him if carbonation causes slippage, but he said there's no proof. Please forgive me if I didn't translate that in his exact medical terminolgy but I'm sleepy, and my thinking isn't too sharp. He never mentioned removing all the saline to see if the band re-sets itself, but he did tell me if I (me personally) slip my band that he'll probably remove it since I'm still over-eating. Did any of that make sense?

Pretty Pink Princess Piggy

Prom Night

I'm in packing denial. My plane leaves in 3 hours and I'm half naked on LBT and still haven't packed. If I come back and don't find any new 4th of July pictures all OVER this board, I'm gonna be mad. Especially Betty cuz those cabins sound awesome.

I wish I could caputre how the morning sun colors my entire house pink (and we all know how I feel about pink, right?) Oh, and let me explain the mess... I was forced to toss some fresh cherries in the blender for Cherry Coladas after spending 3 full hours on the phone with Tech Support trying to get my iPods working and they still don't work. And YES, that's a bottle of chocolate sauce. Band? What Band?

I had stitches sticking out too. Mine slid out, but now I wish I would have clipped them. For the record, these "dissolving" stitches don't always dissolve. When I had my last port removal, Dr. Billy found a handful of them floating around inside me.

Doesn't the Vodka defeat the purpose of the drink? Then again, booze defeats the purpose of the band, but do I ever listen to rules? I'll pay in the end, I always do.