I was banded in 08 and was doing a good job losing! I also went though the devastation and loss of food, or the thought of it in my head. I remember waking up early one morning thinking WTF did I do? Why on earth would I do this to myself?
I wanted to get healthier, My dad died of a Cardiac arrest big suprise..and my Mom got Diagnosed with colon cancer.
I got the surgery then went through quite a series of changes including leaving my ex husband. I ended up moving back to California but had some Fluid removed prior because I was over 7cc and having some issues with food/drink etc.. and did not want to have trouble on my cross country drive. To be safe they took me down to 6cc. I still had restriction but over time I started to eat more and wasn't making good choices. I gained alot back then finally little over a month ago had another fill that brought me up to 7cc. I have dropped about 17 lbs since May 24th.
Funny thing, I woke up and did the same ole thing.. What the heck have I done, let the Mourning begin.. I was all ready to dress in black, hurling myself at the fridge and balling my eyes out. That lasted for about 20 minutes of horror.. and I thought..
Susan, You have been here before, this is normal put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Which I did and have been moving forward ever since.
food is not our LOVE, It is not our Supporter.. it really is like the corner crack dealer that wants to get us hooked. For many of us it is 'Chasing the Dragon' no matter how much we eat it can never fill the hole inside.... It only seems that the more we chase that darn dragon keeps getting away.
I am not by any means perfect, I have experience but have had to relearn things fast. We chose this method as a tool to help ourselves and many find that it is not the easy street that they figured it would be. Because it is not and we have to work it in order to make it work.
As you go on you will find that for many you can still eat the majority of foods that you ate before. As my Doctor put it, You can have a few chips vs the whole bag, I ate 1/4th of a powdered donut today! Do I feel guilty no... because It is not the 2 or 3, 4 donuts that I might have had in my past. bread is not my first consideration anymore when eating, in fact it rarely plays into the scenario at all. I go for the Protein first and the salad which are my favs.. followed by whatever is on the side dish. I do make a wrap sometimes out of a whole grain tortilla and it is not the JUMBO size tortilla.
Last week we went to the movies and we split a small bag of popcorn and I had a small Coke Zero.drank maybe half. I know the drill about sodas.. but I had it.. no problems whatsoever.. it is also downsized from would normally have been a medium or large popcorn which I could have probably eaten myself..
when got home and needless to say neither of us felt good.. I just did not like having that junk in my system.
You live, you learn... acknowledge your feelings and try to work through them because you will have them here and there. I call it my self sabatoge mode... and I feel that most everyone has it here or there. We will not be perfect, we will make mistakes, I guess I look at it if that happens I try to make the mistake not as bad as it could be, enjoy it, them forgive yourself and move forward.
Seeing the clothes fit better will also help alot, it its a way to keep you more focused.. good luck you guys.. hang in there
(this is a letter to my GF who had bypass 5 yrs ago- we have both had a regain) I hope you find it helpful
"I had an appt. with Dr. Y (my Lapband Surgeon) to discuss switching me over to Gastric Sleeve, or Gastric Bypass.... as I have not had much success in the past 5 years losing weight with my Lapband.
He told me that in Ontario, you cannot get SLEEVE, you can get BYPASS but you have to go thru a provincial clearing house and HUMBER HOSPITAL (Toronto) is the only place that does them... you need to get on a waiting list and wait for a call... My family doctor already made the referral 2 weeks ago and I've heard nothing so far... it could be months before I get an appt. That is why I asked if Dr. Y could do it for Cash... nope, he can't.
I had also been researching having Surgery in Mexico, and Dr. P in Michigan... I had put in a telephone call to Dr. P and he is on holiday but said he WOULD call me back on my cell to discuss OPTIONS.
So I pack all my protien shakes for the day, and pile into the car to head for Toronto.
Usually this drive takes 2 - 2 1/2 hours... I follow my GPS and its no problem.
Well today, there was so much construction I was starting to panic that I'd be late for my Appt. with Dr. ..... then my Cell Phone rings.... Hi Its' DOCTOR......??? you know cell phones.. sometimes info gets dropped or there's road noise (yes I pulled over to answer my phone).
Doctor and I have a VERY lengthy discussion on Lapband vs. Sleeve Vs. Bypass... he is not convinced that another surgery would do me any good as "you already know how to cheat the band, and ALL weight loss SURGERY can be CHEATED".... (oh, sinking feeling!)
20 minutes later I decided to give all of the Doctors recommendations my BEST effort... (as I had already decided to recommitt to healthy lifestyle SAT a.m.) but, his suggestions were VERY different than what I was doing or was going to do...
Back to Basics... 1) First eat 1 cup of food, every 3 THREE hours, (don't wait for lunch to roll around, or wait all day until dinner to eat a proper meal... then graze all night in front of the TV) Set my watch, or cell phone with a 3 hour CHIME to EAT... just do it.
2) Eat only SOLID protien 1/2 cup, chew well then eat 1/2 cup of whatever else I chose... Vegetables, fruit, Carbs
3) Hard protien does not mean oatmeal with Protien powder, or High FIBRE Cereal with yogurt... these are SLIDERS and Not SOLID PROTIEN!
4) Eat meat, eggs, NUTs, Fish, chicken, Game for Breakfast, LUNCH, snack, DINNER AND SNACK 9 A.M 12 P.M. 3 P.M. 6 P.M. and last but not least 9 p.m. and if I am awake until midnight eat again...
5) No more counting calories, protien grams... yada, yada, yada.... He insists that I make my plate (luncheon plate, or bread and butter size) with HALF "His "way )ie protien., and HALF Veggies, Fruit, carbs what ever I choose... oh yeah, and if I want cheese or yogurt... is gotta be "MY" half of the Plate(second eaten)
6) Blood sugar maintenance is CRITICAL, thats why I will eat so often, never get to the point of being HUNGRY cause then I have waited TOO long to eat... Once you are hungry you've gone past your stomach clock by 1 hour.... so back up the schedule ... so that you are always eating BEFORE you are ravenous... this way your blood sugar levels never waiver... with NO big dips in Blood sugar... I won't get hypoglycemic and want to Eat off everything in site... and also MY Binge foods.
7) I should NOT deprive myself of ANY particular food.... so Have a pce of chocolate, no more than 1/2 cup and EAT IT ONLY AFTER I"VE EATEN my HALF PLATE of PROTIEN.....
8) These special occasion "cARBS" MUST not be kept in the house routinely, walk to the store for a SINGLE serving of Icecream drumstick, or GOOD quality Dark Choc.
O.k. now here is the REALLY funny part...
I finally wind my way thru all the downtown construction and get to my lapband Clinic, 1/2 hour late for my appointment....
Dr. Y comes out of his office and ushers me into his den... We sit down, and discuss MY wants and needs ie. another surgery.... vs. LIVING A LAP BANDERS real LIFESTYLE..... What do I eat, how much do I eat, is my restriction o.k. , can I eat A CUP of FOOD....
The goes into this schpeel of rules... explaining everything, then giving me analogys likening Eating Food/Appetite with BREATHING.. we breath in and out all day and never THINK about it... What if I made you hold your breath for 4 minutes until I was blue, eyes bulging... and then said o.k. breathe.... Well YOu'd GASP and take is as much air as possible... you'd be anxious right???
So consider eating a tiny amount at breakfast, a 200 cal amount at lunch.... waiting all afternoon to have dinner at 7 p.m.......what happens? I want to EAT everything ALL evening long... because I haven't followed the Bandster rules. My Blood sugar then is extremely LOW on awakening and I only feed it 200 cals. then I make by body with 4-5 hours for its next meal (blood sugar has tanked by now) then I eat my Favorite MEAL at 7 pm. and probably too many calories.... then... the growly HEAD Monster awakens! because my sugar levels have crashed again... this is why I CRAVE all the CARBS... why the CARBS? because my body knows I am LOW SUGAR and the quickest way to REMEDYD that situation in my blood stream is to eat REFINED CARBS... BECAUSE I thinks it is starving.... when you stretch too long between eating your body thinks its gone into starvation mode and when you put that NEXT food in..... the BODY will store those calories as FAT.... its a Primal survival mechenism that is Hard wired into our Brains, Hormone systems etc....
No more calorie counting, just take a picture of each of my plates a day and EMAIL them to him..... then in one month I will go back and review menus and make any needed adjustments.
Can you guess what has happened by now.....?
DR. P did NOT call me on my cell..... Dr. Y looked at his day sheet for appts. saw that I lived in -------- and was going to save me the trouble of coming all the way into TORONTO for our meeting....!!!!!
Once I figured this out, I just remained and LISTENED to everything he said.......AGAIN!!!!
He never did clue in that I was the SAME patient from. ________that he had already called on the cell earlier....
Oh my gosh, what a crazy story.
But you know what, I got to HEAR WHAT "i" NEEDED TO HEAR TWO TIMES OVER..... I think it will stick.....what do you think?
