@DomLorenVSG

o_0 .... oe vey.

o_0 ... wow. I'm so sorry. The Holiday's are going to be rough on me this year as a single mom, but you got double and triple whammy's going on. You're in my thoughts and prayers!

I used my BMI chart to figure out a healthy range and agreed that my first goal was the highest allowable by my BMI chart, then my doc said I could go lower and set a second goal that was literally the middle number between the lowest and highest allowed by the BMI. But visually my favorite tool is a site called www.mybodygallery.com . Nothing to bad, it's hundreds of women at every height, then classified by weight and shape. So I'm 5'9, I put in 5'9 at my ultimate goal weight and see what other real women look like at that weight. I actually looked at several different weight scales (they go on incriments of 10 lbs), I looked at someone 5'9 @ 125, 135, and 145 and finally decided my goal is 135 but I'd be happy to maintain at 145. It was a really good perspective tool to use.

This week I hit goal, and then some. Yesterday, I had an amazing opportunity to host a Medal of Honor recipient at my University and I was extremely excited. But things didn't go exactly to plan for my unoffical coming out party. How did D-Day go for me? Well, there were a lot of casualties... First off, I'm so happy I did my weight loss surgery, for ME, and me alone. Because I really had to put things into perspective. I had ex that said he was coming to the event, and a new guy I've been talking to for the past couple of weeks also RSVP. I was so psyched and really went all out getting ready, turns out NEITHER ONE of them showed up, and I felt quite dissapointed. I wanted to yell "TA DA!" but that opportunity was taken by their empty chairs... I was a little bitter and jaded about it- but then something interesting started to happen... I did a perfect performance with the event. Dozens and dozens of colleagues I hadn't seen in months were flipping out about how great I looked, my director was very pleased with everything, a friend from Ft. Benning did show up and took me too lunch and we walked all over campus chatting for the afternoon. Then I got a last second note that my team water polo end of season dinner was that evening (I missed the first announcement) and I walked in, and everyone gasped... So while my love life might be in the dumps- I think it's safe to say a LOT of people in my life have noticed my weight loss, everyone has been dumb founded and when I saw this pic I posted- I barely recognized myself. I went from the verge of tears that afternoon, to complete peace coming home tin the evening after my team dinner. I know this is my journey, and I know that it's not one event that makes us who we are, it's the little everyday victories like being able to wake up and like what you see in the mirror that matters. And I really am starting to like what I see. And since I'm fairly religious, I will just throw it out there, that when I do meet Mr. Right, it will be on God's time, not mine. So I'm going to pick myself up, brush myself off, be thankful for my opportunities and another day to wake up and like the new me.Thank you all for being on this journey with me. ♥ Here is a pic from earlier today, me with medal of honor recipient Colonel Jacobs. Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)

Holy Toledo! Of course I couldn't be simple- I had to reach my goal weight in dramatic fashion! God's divine sense of humor has struck again... So I had a first/blind date with a gentlemen officer who ended up getting sick on Sunday and cancelled his date but asked to reschedule. Well, last night he texted me and told me his work (he's in a higher level officer training course at the moment at our local military installation) will be at my University on Thursday- for the lecture I'm co-hosting for a General who's speaking. This would be the same lecture I've been nervously working so hard for because my ex boyfriend was going to be attending and I wanted to take the opportunity to show off my new me. Apparently God's seeing fit to screw with my head and put them both in that lecture hall at the same time..... Spanx and hot bodycon business dress- don't fail me now! Thursday is D- Day for me as far as I'm concerend. Then I woke up... I woke up and got on the scale and I made my goal weight this morning... And the guest lecture I'm hosting that the ex and current male interests are both attending is in 2 days.... Well played God. Well played. I <3 my sleeve!!!!! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) ***1st Goal Weight Achieved Week (11/27): 169.5 lbs***

When I weighed in on Wednesday, I was over -2 lbs down this week to 171.0, I worked out and everything was great... then came Thanksgiving. Let's be brutally honest people, I didn't gain weight compared to last Friday's weigh in, I stepped on the scale and saw 173.1 staring back me (I was 173.3 last week), so I consider my first official holiday success even though I only lost -.2 lbs this week. Hands down I'm guilty as sin for grazing all day, nibbling, and snacking away. I wasn't able to eat much at the actual sit down part, but I sure made my mini plate dent through the day. I only had one alcoholic beverage, and I tried to snack on protein (turkey) as much as possible. I've never been able to control myself as much as I have this year. I walked away satisfied, having tasted all the treats, but never getting more than two bites of anything. At first I felt a little guity, but driving home last night I felt victorious. I knew I had only eaten a fraction of what I normally do, and I even somehow managed to completely shy away from taking a ton of left overs home to continue the binge eating as I've done in the past. Double score. So I'll take my lowest weekly weight loss since surgery as a huge step forward. My first major holiday with friends was a success with my sleeve. I lost weight even on Thanksgiving week... and oh, am I ever so Thankful for my sleeve!!! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)

I thought for sure I'd get so much positive re-enforcement, etc, and when it didn't come I was upset and sad. Then again years of yo-yo dieting people pretty much assumed that I was on a fad diet again, I'm going to lose some weight but it will be back in a few months- why praise someone for being a yo-yo dieter. I get it, but it still gives no one the right to judge or cut someone else's attempts down. I encourage all my friends no matter what route they take to do what’s right for them. For people I don't want to know how I lost the weight, I simply just tell them working out, high Protein diet, no crap food, and less than 1000 calories a day. I said that to one person, and they told me I'm terribly unhealthy and starving myself. I said no, i'm actually never hungry- I eat when I'm hungry- two bites of whatever, and I'm done. She snarled at me and insisted I was doing it all wrong. She's 100+ lbs over weight. I have to take criticism with a grain of salt, because people don't know I had wls. But again, mean commentary and back handed compliments come along with the territory. I wrote an entire blog post talking about toxic people. I really had surrounded myself with toxic people before my surgery. It was no different from my friend who is having infertility problems surrounding herself with pregnant women and obsessing about their success and mourning her inability to conceive. I understand now exactly how she feels. I surrounded myself with skinny girls, who've never had dietary issues or weight loss complications. They frowned at my diet attempts and said just work out and it will happen- uummmmm NO. It won't just magically happen. I needed help, I needed surgery, just as my friend has to spend thousands on invetro and fertility docs and appointments I have to do the same with my weight loss. I needed help and rather than opening myself up for more criticism I did what I felt was necessary to lose this weight and get my life back on track. Is there a price tag on feeling good about yourself and being healthy? Looking back, my biggest regret wasn't doing this sooner, and not making my health a priority from get go.

Sometimes it's hard to see progress until you put pictures side by side. I really haven't seen a difference in the mirror, but I have definitly noticed in my clothes. Pretty much everyone who see's me now see's a difference and can't help to comment. I'm 4 lbs away from my first goal that I set with my doctor to be at the highest healthy weight allowable by my BMI which is 169 lbs (I'm 5'9). I haven't seen the 160's in years, and I'm so thrilled to be so close. My optimal dream weight is actually 145 but I'm nervous that might not be attainable, and really I'm just happy to be in a healthy BMI. I've put in a lot of hard work to get where I am, and I'm kind of taking it easy over the next month, not really swimming but just enjoying the holidays. I have a date with my eleptical in my living room every night, and I'm okay with that. After the first of the year I will definitly surge and try working out hard core again. I'm hoping to see my first goal weight within the next couple of weeks. Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)

Deep breathes, just make it through the next 24 hours one step at a time. Go to the store tonight, but don't over purchase, you can always go back for more if you need. It will allllll be okay, and clean your house a little everyday, no need to exhaust yourself the first day of the liquid diet!! Congrats on the bump up in dates!

I say this with a full heart and lots of warm and fuzzies- be careful. If the hot girls in your office are a problem now, they will be a bigger problem later. Make sure to really think about what you share and how you share this journey with them. I'm 13 weeks post op and doing fabulously, the problem is I did NOT get the positive feedback that everyone else in the forums have been getting. It's been a lot of back handed compliments, a lot of caddiness, and me having to cut a few "friendships" off. Two specifc girls were so comfortable wit me being the fat friend that they literally started every rumor imagineable about me and didn't hold back on humiliation or alienation. It hurt to my core. We want to visualize the end result in our head, that day we walk in looking amazing in heels and a nice pencil skirt and all eyes are on us and our huge smile.... but be weary, along with those stares and admiration comes jealousy in forms you've never seen or experienced before. I chose to keep my wls private, and I am very thankful I did. The amount of judgement I've gotten thus far, is only a fraction of the flood of negativity had I been open about it. The only people I've opened up to about the surgery are my over weight friends that have noticed my substantial weight loss, and I tell them privately in an email or in person. I don't like when thin people who've never had weight problems pass judgment on obese people who chose surgery. It's counter productive and really just not useful since the deed is done. All I can say is, I'm healthy, and FABULOUS! You will do great. You will lose this weight, keep it off, and start a whole new fabulous chapter to your life. You will love every minute of it, it will be a struggle but once it starts coming off- it will be allllll down hill. Get your game face on, but don't forget your helmet and padding because it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Soooooooooooooooo close to my first goal weight!!! I'm only 3.4 lbs away! But I'm soooooo happy to still be going down in weight! Sometimes I fear getting out of bed to weigh myself, afraid I might be disappointed like I did in my previous fat kid life, but this sleeve has changed me so much. I see the scale going down, and I'm just so incredibly thankful. Even though I'm not dropping big numbers, every little bit counts, and I'd rather be going down than up!! Tomorrow marks my 3 month surgi-versary and I will be taking my monthly photo's in my bikini like I've done every previous month and I'm nervous. I hate that bikini right now- it's still not my friend. But I know that with progress there are pains, and I need to document this journey as thoroughly as possible so that when I reach where I'm going, I can look back and say never again. So everyone stay tuned! Tomorrow there will be 3 month surgi-versary pictures! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)

And Dr. A was my saving grace. SO many doctors trying to medicate me, and not one would take me as a surgical candidate because I was a low BMI of 33. Nothing ever worked, and when I found 2 docs state side that would consider me, insurance wouldn't pay and they both wanted $30k+. Dr. A saved me life, my money, and health. I was never going to get better, and I would have had to mortgage my home to afford the surgery stateside. Then once I went through the surgery- all I could think was... "this was better than any american surgery I've ever had." It was easier than my nightmare experience of getting my wisdom teeth out. And I'm dead serious about that. I have a friend who is now following my steps and having her surgery with Dr. A in Decemeber, and like I told her- I did my homework. He's the best. I've been there. I've done that. And he's still the best, my only regret was not doing this sooner! Good luck!

1) Protein. I get 90% of my calories from pure protein. I completely avoid carbs like the black plague. I snack on chicken, and whatever I can get my hands on. Yesterday for lunch I had pulled pork bbq, 3 oz and I was done, saved the rest and ate it again for dinner. No sides, no bread, nadda. The bbq was more than enough. 2) Routine is my bff. I know what I'm going to eat every single day before I leave the house, I leave nothing for imagination and I workout with other people so even if I'm not feeling motivated to do it, I know they are waiting on me to show up- there for I actually do my workouts religously. 3) Here's the tough love. I commit to at least 1 FULL HOUR EVERY SINGLE DAY to working out. Math says it takes 3500 calories to burn 1 lbs of fat, even on a low calorie diet and your BMR helping to burn some calories that still a LOT Of calories that you need to burn. 4) READ the guru's. I've read Jillian Michaels and Bob Harpers books, I've read Oprah's trainers, I've read all the top hollywood trainers books. I've educated myself thoroughly and there are several key things THEY ALL AGREE ON: A) To lose weight you must work out a MINIMUM of 1 hour 6 days a week and it must be intense, not lolly gagging- doesn't matter if it's running, walking, elliptical or what you got to make it intense and get your heart rate to 120. B.) Weight lifting is NECESSARY. At least 3 times a week for 30 minutes at max weight. All the trainers said it, if you want to change your metabolism it starts with weights. Muscle burns more fat. There for increase your muscle. If you rotate a day of weight lifting for cardio, or add them both in for a 2 hour workout 6 days a week, magical things might happen. C) Carbs are the enemy. They all agree. We are a carb heavy society. And because of our sleeves now is the time to back away slowly and reconsider them later. Eat a very heavy protein diet. D) Sugars are the enemy. And you know what I'm talking about. Even the Protein shakes are full of crap. Time to step back drink h20 (and none of the other crap) and focus on Proteins again. I will miss my smoothies and my fudigcles and my occassional sweet tooth cravings, but do want to lose weight or not? E) DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT eat after 7pm. Water ONLY. sleeping on a full stomach, partially full, or any thing at all in your stomach will screw with your metabolism in your sleep. Just don't do it. Maybe masters swimming and water polo are my saving grace, but I know several people who've had success with trainers, workout buddies, etc. It's HARD. Period. No matter who we are to get this done. It takes time and commitment. I have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome which has been a huge factor in why I needed the VSG- my body cannot regulate my hormones or my insulin), and I have always gained between 7 and 10 lbs on my period (sorry guys for the TMI but weight gain is true for the vast majority of women). If I only fluctuate by a pound or so I will be delighted. So this week I'm easing up on myself and just training and ignoring my numbers as they will most likely go up. BE AWARE of your cycles and get a calendar. Start tracking on your calendar, calories consumed, when your period is, when your PMS'ing (which is when your hormones start to surge and the first onset of weight gain pre-period happens) and watch what happens. You might be bloating because you're so close to your cycle. I also get horrific acne- which right now is pretty bad :/ so that's my indicator mother nature is about to come kick my a$$. I work out a LOT. A minimum of 2 to 5 hours a day and that's why I've been dropping numbers. I know a lot of people cannot commit to that, but I'm doing with with a packed schedule and a kid because my health is #1. It's time for me. THIS IS MY TIME. And I don't have anymore time in my life to waste. I'm being as completely proactive as possible. Hope this helps!

Best decision of my life! I'll be 13 weeks tomorrow and I'm down over -40lbs! Everything Dr. A said was right on the money, and I've been super good about working out and eating high Protein and low carb and I haven't stalled yet. Now that I've lost a bit, the numbers aren't big but it's still going down slowly but surely. Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)

I completely agree with you. I've always been an athlete and I was in the Army and could eat a hardy diet and stay only slightly overweight, and teeter totter back and forth into a healthy BMI when I was required to. The problem was once I stopped working out my appetite was still there and I wasn't working out nearly as much, the weight didn't come on over night, maybe 3 to 4 lbs a month over the course of a few years that added to about a 50+ lbs weight gain. The bigger I got, the hungerier I was, allllll the time. Dr. Alavarez was my surgeon and he did diagnose me with a metabolic disorder just as you had mentioned. The bigger I got, the hungier I was, and I had complete insulin resistance and was even put on medications for it. After surgery my hunger went almost completely away, and now I have it but in the faintest form. Nothing like it was before- that by itself was life altering. I know how to eat healthy and workout, but my brain was always hungry and I was never on the same page with my body. Self control is mysterious to me- so much self control in other areas of my life, and yet I struggled so fiercely with my weight and controlling my eating habbits

I could easily consume a two cheesburger, large frie and large diet coke with a dessert from Mc Donalds and even squeeze in a couple of my son's uneaten chicken nuggets before surgery. I attempted 2 french fries and 2 chicken nuggets with water the other day on the way to his soccer practice and nearly had to pull the car over to throw up. Too much carbs, and too much food period. I'm eating almost 20% of my former diet if not less. Healthy food choices are absolutely essential, but portion control is a huge factor as well. Even the food tastes different to me now- and I dislike it. Which is quite helpful because I no longer crave a lot of the crappy food I use to adore.

I had success both with Weight Watchers and Low Carb diet- but as soon as I lost the weight and went back into normal eating patterns all the weight came back on. Tracking my food always helped me to see how much I was really consuming, but most of the time I was depressed because even if I was over my allotted calories I was still always hungry. I'm just naturally always hungry. Immediately- as soon as I got sleeved I realized I wasn't hungry, and that in itself was life changing. No diet or magic pill could give me the sunsation of being full.

Thank you all! And Xavtay2, I haven't experienced any major stalls, and I do have several secrets (that aren't so secret)... I work out 2 to 5 hours every. single. day. I document it in my blog if you look up some of my previous posts. I hate land sports, but I do a masters swim team on my lunch 3 days a week, and I was doing water polo 2 hours 4 days a week (we just ended our season and I'm on a 2 month break). I eat a very high protein diet, and I've pretty much cut out everything else except little bits of fruits and veggies. Since surgery I've become lactose intolerant and me and bread just don't get along either. Between eating the clean high protein diet mixed with aggressive work outs, I've been on a steady down slope. I know my numbers are starting to slow down to about -1 lbs a week, but that is fine by me, any loss is welcome. I use to kill myself and couldn't even lose a pound in a week, but now it works itself out. Some weeks are better than others, but over all it's maintaining a healthy routin with workouts.... the sleeve can only do so much, you got to put the work outs as a priority in your life! But everything else is documented in my blogs as well, so feel free to take a gander at them. And I've been terrible this weekend celebrating, definitly drank too much, my stomach hates me, I embrace drinking nothing but water this week and eating my healthy stuff, my sleeve does NOT do well when I'm not kind to it! So now after the last 48 hours of crappy food and drinks, I'm back on track and refocused. I've had my fun, but it's nothing like it use to be. So glad to be healthy and feel good when I eat and drink clean.

Happpy Birrrthhddaayyyy to meeeee! The greatest present I could have ever given myself? VSG. Period. End of story. I paid out of pocket and went broke for this surgery, and my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner. I've never in my life experienced this kind of weight loss success, the little bit I did came from extreme dieting, deprevation, and I dare say an eating disorder. Nothing ever lasted. I might get excited at a few Weight Watchers meetings than, bam, it would come right back on with in a month or a couple of weeks. I use to be relieved to lose just a few pounds over the course of a month, today I'm now down over -40 lbs since surgery 12 weeks ago. This week I lost an addition -2lbs and yesterday I celebrated my 29th birthday. Normally this event has me plotting out my food plan of attack 2 weeks in advance. I would eat anything and everything and use my birthday as an excuse to binge. This year I did not, and could not. Old habits are hard to break, I even picked up a couple of my favorite go to items, and low and behold my sleeve wasn't having any of it. I felt foolish for even trying. I found a dress (a business bodycon style dress) in my closet that I bought over 2 years ago online. I was overweight but I figured if I lost 20 lbs it might fit and I was in love with the style. When it arrived in the mail I was so deeepresssseeeeddd to learn that even if I lost 20 lbs that dress was NOT going to fit. I felt bad and humiliated as usual, but instead of returning it as I should have, I hung it up, tags still attached and moved it to the back of my closet... because maybe, just maybe one day something magical might happen. Last week I rediscovered it and almost gasped. Could it be?? The dress?! But have I lost enough???? Well, I put it on and bam... it fit. Like a glove. It only took -40lbs! But it fits! I wore it for the first time yesterday on my birthday, then wore it watch Maya Angelou lecture on women in leadership, then proceeded to a dinner date. It wasn't a huge blow out birthday, but it was GREAT. And I felt GREAT. And I felt beautiful. I haven't been able to say that in a long time. I felt beautiful. Today I took the day off from work, and spent have the day at a spa getting a massage and facial, and the other half of the day completely gutting my closet. I literally cleared out HALF of my clothes that are too big for me. My room is a disaster, but I knew that these items had to go. I finished up with a late lunch with my exboyfriend who has been randomly appearing a lot more lately (giggles). Tonight is my birthday party with friends, followed by a going away party for another friend tomorrow night. I'm about to see a whole lot of people I haven't seen in a while and I know there will be LOTS to be said! Birthdays use to be about food, and celebrating with food. This birthday was about celebrating me, and I went a totally different direction. I definitly see more birthdays with Spa Day's involved including a new special birthday outfit. Here's to new beginnings, new bodies, and new traditions. Cheers! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)

I lost -1.1 lbs this week. Nowhere near where I wanted to be. I'm now at 176.8 lbs and next week is my birthday. All I wanted to see was that glorious 169 lbs mark as a birthday present to myself. Just doesn't seem to want to happen on my time. But lately that seems to be the story of my life. I don't like when people play the victim. I feel we are all masters and commanders of our own lives and weight loss journeys. That being said, I've done a terrible job of steering and I feel like I've run my ship aground. I've written a lot about toxic people and time to clean house and surround myself with positive people and energy. But sometimes it's easier said than done. After a very rough weekend last week during the championship water polo tournament, I've made the decision to quit water polo for the duration of this semester. I've had so much going on in my life that when I constantly get questioned and torn down, I have to wonder- am I doing it for myself or just to prove a point? I've proven what I can do. And maybe I will go back in the spring semester- maybe I won't. I'm still trying to swim 3 days a week on lunch, but I once again got back lash from people in my office who think I take too much time to work out and feel it is affecting my work (how, I'm still not sure) and reported me and now I have to cut my workouts down dramatically since I have to check in and out. I've really been feeling defeated lately. I've come to the conclusion that haters are just going to hate. While most people will smile and say good job on your weight loss, many people would rather down play your hard work, tare you down, and even find ways to sabotage you. Some intentionally and some just because they are negative. They are friends, coworkers, associates, etc. In my case it's all of the above. I love my friends and especially those who have really kept me positive, but sometimes you need to close ranks, and build some pretty high emotional walls. I would love to go in to detail and discuss what it was like to have people say that I'm a bad mother for working out, that I'm liar and obviously must have eating disorder or be on drugs (because I haven't told many people I had WLS)... but I'm not. I'm not going to discuss it. I've already cried my tears. Gone through self-pity. And you know what? I'm still going to lose weight, I'm still going to finish school, and I'm still going to be a great and HELATHY mom regardless of what anyone else says. I'm not married, I don't have a partner to share all my intimate details and thoughts with. Being a single mom and going through this journey has really opened my eyes to independence and confidence. I've really looked at other people to inspire me then let them break me down instead. You have to be your own best friend sometimes. You've got to be your own super hero and save yourself. Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)

You are an amazing woman and I'm so happy to be your sleeve buddy! God works in mysterious and wonderful ways!!! Your family is going to be mezmorized by you! You can absouletly make your goal and you look awesome now. Just wait until you hit that 180 mark and jaws will be hitting the floor! You are doing it all right! The working out, the eating right, taking care of you! You got this girl!

I'm finally in the 170's!!! I'm so relieved to see the 170's I can't tell you! My primary goal is 169 lbs, and my birthday is in 2 weeks. Today I weighed in at 177.9, which means I'm only 8 lbs away from my goal- most importantly my birthday is in 2 weeks!!!!! I want so badly to make my goal by my birthday, a present I've never really been able to give myself before. I have friends coming to visit me and I'd like to get dressed up in a fabulous tight dress and show everyone AND take pics!! I still haven't told the rest of my social world about my surgery (not really planning too) but I also haven't posted ANY pics since my weight loss started, and now every time someone see's me they kind of freak out a little bit. So I figure my birthday in two weeks is a great coming out party for weight loss pics, and even bigger motivator to get this last 8 lbs off! I can do this! And my NSV this week? NSV... my skinny jeans/pants I bought in Nurnberg, Germany years ago on the Euro size chart at H&M... FIT! Like a glove. Hallelujia! About a size 9/10 on the American standard. Here is my before and after 2.5 months after surgery! Size 16 to size 9/10!!!! Check out the before and after below!! Height: 5'9 Highest Weight: 216 1st Goal Weight: 169 Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)

Well, this week I only lost -.5 lb. ONLY a half a pound after a -5 lbs weight loss last week. But, such is the journey of weight loss. I didn't stall, I didn't gain, and the scale went down, if only a little bit, it still went down. And for that I'm very thankful. I posted my 2 month post op pics on Wednesday, and I am really starting to see a difference. Mostly in the way my clothes are fitting me. Everyday this week I've worn something that had been in my closet collecting dust for years. My next hurdle, is to sit down and really go through EVERYTHING and clean out my closet and organize by size and really start getting rid of stuff. I've held on to so much in fear my weight would go up and down. My closet ranges from size 8 to size 16. Just think of all the closet space for new clothes once I finally get to my ultimate size?! And as for what that size is??? I don't know. Smallest I've ever been was a size 8, and that lasted for a few weeks and yo yo dieted myself up back to a size 16. So maybe size 8? Maybe a size 6? I really don't know. I do know it will be a journey, it won't happen overnight. I'm still wearing my favorite pair of size 10 jeans that I fit into for the first time just a few weeks ago, and they are already starting to get lose on me. Until I get to my first goal weight of 169lbs, I'm really not buying anything new, re-discovering all the old clothes in my closet, and preparing for a mass spring cleaning! Height: 5'9 Highest Weight: 216 1st Goal Weight: 169 Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)

As someone who has battled my weight issues ALL my life, has other medical complications (I have PCOS), and has had serious interpersonal relationship problems because of insecurity, weight issues, etc. I can say this surgery saved my life. My only regret was not getting it sooner. A lot of the people who I see being negative the first few months post surgery are people who have not dealt with their relationship battles wtih food. THey weren't ready to say good bye- I however am totally okay with only getting one bite of something and being done. I have no more self loathing about over eating and ordering everything off a menu and still being hungry. It's all gone now. My head and self esteem are in a much better place. I also had a workout plan in place, I swim 5 days a week. I'm not dealing with any stalls because I've had a plan of action from get go. I don't weigh myself with my fingers crossed that the scale might go down- my scale ALWAYS goes down if only a little it's almost always moving because I workout 5 days a week. I paid out of pocket for this surgery, I sacrified a lot being a single mom paying $9000 out of pocket. I owe this to me and my child to give it everything I got now. So while there are some not so pleasant moments post surgery- I'm thankful everyday that I got it, and everyday I'm a happier and healthier person for it. I know once I get into my goal weight areas, I will have a lot more personal growing to do, to get comfortable in my body and learning how to maintain. But to know this permanent and not some fad diet, I'm so happy to hit the restart button in my life.

Height: 5'9 Highest Weight: 216 1st Goal Weight: 169 Sleeved: (8/17/2012): 216 lbs Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary **While it doesn't look like I'm getting a ton of definition, I'm actually "de-swelling" pretty evenly and not all from one spot. Everything has shrunk from a size 14 (*cough* more like a 16 *cough*) pre-op to me fitting into my size 10 jeans. I never took measurements, but my clothing is pretty much telling the story for me. And the shorts I'm wearing in my 2 month pic wouldn't even go up my thighs 2 months ago- total NSV and now my favorite pool deck lounging booty shorts. I'm still swimming 5 days a week, and I'm getting really close to my first personal goal of 169, which is the highest allowable weight according to my BMI chart. In 2 weeks I got Halloween, and in 3 weeks my Birthday. I'm really stepping it up in workouts and extra stuff just so that I can be prepared to take pics with friends and be happy, and actually smiling in all my pics. I'm ready for pics with friends finally!!!