gustavo52974

I was also afraid to tell my mom. When I did, her response was, "Good for you. I just hope you aren't getting the band". LOL I was shocked at the response!

Yes, that makes perfect sense. There's a lot of brainwashing going on in today's society. Awareness is one of the first steps towards wisdom. And wisdom begins with the words, "I don't know." I'm the kind of person who'd rather know than not know. I can see how understanding the process of manipulation helps break the chains of it. Thanks.
By the way, the above statements are my opinions and not intended to insult, admonish, criticize, or advise in any manner.

Gustavo,
I'm the sort of person who can manage something if I'm able to understand it. If I know that little voice inside my head...the one screaming for something bad...is the result of someone's intentional attempts to control my brain (in a very unhealthy way), I am able to not eat whatever it is that voice is screaming for. Its a function of awareness....like controlling what/how much you eat by beginning to honestly track everything you put in your mouth. (If that makes any sense.)

I don't understand why you wouldn't suggest getting some help to some of the issues people deal with on here. I don't see why getting help with anything would ever be a bad idea. Especially when many of us have had trouble in the past with issues eating.
Not everyone has considered counseling or had an experience like you before. I've talked to friends about my experience with counseling and have had more than one of them surprised that I had seen a counselor. Some people get this idea that counseling is only something crazy people go to, but every time I've suggested/talked about it is because I think a number of people could use it, even if it's just to get some things off their chest, get another view point, get help with coping strategies. Is it for everyone? No. Does it work for everyone? No. Is it worth a try if you're doing something like cutting out a large portion of your stomach just as an added measure to stay on track and help you through issues? I think so, but that's just me.
Any time I've said anything about counseling it's only because I think that if I was in their shoes it might help me. It's never meant as condescending or insulting or you're a crackhead get some help please.
Also, not everyone is as clear or as eloquent at getting the true meaning of what they're trying to say across. Sometimes it sounds different when other people read it online than it was originally typed, if that makes sense. I doubt the people who said you needed professional help were trying to be offensive in any way, but rather that they were trying to highlight the fact that the sleeve is a tool, and that you may still have issues that need to continue to be addressed post surgery. Could they have said it better? Sure. Did they mean for it to be offensive/frustrating to you? Probably not.

A little bit of tough love here, but let's add things up: he's a drug user (yes, marijuana is a drug), he's cheated on you, he's emotionally abusive, he's controlling and doesn't want you to spend time with your family, he's a financial disaster, he'd rather you be big than thin, he's emotionally erratic, you're waiting for him to physically hurt you before you can divorce him, and you think giving him children will help things. Seriously, how many red flags do you need here?

A little bit of tough love here, but let's add things up: he's a drug user (yes, marijuana is a drug), he's cheated on you, he's emotionally abusive, he's controlling and doesn't want you to spend time with your family, he's a financial disaster, he'd rather you be big than thin, he's emotionally erratic, you're waiting for him to physically hurt you before you can divorce him, and you think giving him children will help things. Seriously, how many red flags do you need here?

Fist, your failure with counseling is YOUR experience, not everyone else's. I went to a counselor who specializes in weight problems because I wanted to know why I started gaining weight. I thought maybe I was an emotional eater, but that wasn't the case with me. I found out that there are MANY reasons why someone puts on weight, both physical and psychological. I was successful at pinpointing my problems with food, but that doesn't mean I necessarily have to share it with others. Everyone is different and I can't tell people what their problems are--I'm not a licensed therapist. I've already talked about what my problems were and I don't like repeating myself. If you're so desperate to know, read my collected posts.
And I decided to get counseling AFTER reading this forum because I read a lot of different people's stories and viewpoints. I wasn't sure which applied to me. So it was BECAUSE of other people's suggestions on here that I sought counseling and I feel so much better about my own situation.
So to hurl these criticisms at those who recommend counseling is undeserved and a failure of logic. Just because it wasn't helpful for you doesn't mean it couldn't work for someone else. You took a seriously wrong turn there. You shouldn't rely on lay people to give you psychological advice. "Duh!"
You can throw all the nasty posts you want at me now, but I will not read them or any other posts you make, so you probably shouldn't bother.

That sounds like a great scale! What kind/brand is it?
Oh yeah, I also have this problem. The "fullness" feeling is so sudden. And I have a problem eating slowly too, especially if I'm eating by myself and I'm in a rush. I simply HAVE to change this.
But I find that if I eat with other people, I enjoy frustrating them by eating in slow motion and eating only a tiny portion. I love watching the dawning shock on their faces. But I'm snarky and self-centered.

I like gustavo's suggestion of asking your surgeon. Or I would look online for therapists, read reviews from patients, and make sure to get a therapist that specializes in eating disorders. Then I would call their office and ask if they have had any experience with bariatric patients and maybe binge eating if that's something that has affected you pre-op or if there's another part of your life that you think will need talking about too. For example, many of my eating issues are tied into clinical depression or mood issues, so I wanted a therapist that had some experience in mood disorders. Or if you think that issues will come up in your marriage, you may want one that also works in family counseling. Whatever you think will be important to you down the road. Ohh I almost forgot, a big one of mine is anxiety too. I eat through anxiety, and learning to work through that instead of turning to food is a big thing for me. Then just sort through the reviews and the phone calls you've made and pick one. Remember, even if you visit one and don't like them or it doesn't feel right, you can always choose another one. You are not obligated to stay with the same therapist. It's way more important to find one you feel like you can open up to.
If you have any other questions feel free to pm me.

Thanks for the information. It still doesn't change my WLS conspiracy theory. LOL.

My hat off to you! I raise a glass of Protein Shake in your honor!

I've only made suggestions of therapy only because I'm in therapy myself,,and it has helped..me. I think most have to go through a psychological eval anyway so whether I suggest it or someone else does,,more than likely they will see a psych if they want the surgery. I agree,,it's all in the words and how you say it. I certainly don't want to offend anyone. This is a place to come for information,,sometimes it comes in the form of advice from experience and sometimes from opinion,,you just have to be open minded enough to accept it and try not to be so uptight over it. I learned that here after being smacked down a couple times.

mgs and whitsmom we have the same surgery date. lets follow each other from now on.we can do it here or one of us can create a forum just for us.
billysmom thank you so much for those words, makes a lot of sense
gustavo i am over it i had clam chowder the red one and my stomach was hurting right after. i willstick to my homemade broth.
sexy lady i know what you mean. its bbq weekend and i am missing out, but its ok by christmas i will be looking so damn hot and by next summer look out

First of all, "advise" is a verb. I think you meant to use the word "advice". But I can charitably overlook your 4th grade spelling mistakes.
Second, who is mocking whom? I see no mocking here. I gave my advice, yes A-D-V-I-C-E, to the person who started this post about Doritos...what else do you want from us? Did you expect us to tell him, yes by all means, chow down on Doritos? In fact, I believe someone did!
Seriously, where do you get off judging us, and misjudging us for having a little witty fun? There are so many serious, and frankly depressing, discussions on here...why don't you go find one of those to unload your screed. And I'm embarrassed for you. You come on here and tell us we're being judgmental just because we were amused by the imagery of ALL our posts on here? Are you the president of People Against Fun? Concerned Women of America? Pearl Clutchers With Shocked Faces?
Damn, now I really should post the picture of my ass in chaps. Go lick your cheese puffs somewhere else.

Whatever it is you decide- do yourself a favor and start living a life without regrets.
Life's too short ya know?
Best to you

This surgery is a very personal experience and even though we often find similarities between our experience and others, no two surgeries are the same. When it comes to your surgery, it is really something you need to be able to own all the benefits and consequences of, which is a scary thing. I definitely struggled with the worries of the complications. The fear of the unknown. I think I am even kind of afraid of being thin - I never have been. Though we read so many posts a day that are good, the reality is that not everyone is going to have a perfect surgical experience.
It helped me to write out a list of pros and cons. Then I went through and thought about which cons I could decrease the risk of. Blood clots is one you can have an active role in preventing. Walking post-op and making sure that you limit your time sitting helps ensure that you are getting good blood flow and decreasing clot risk. This is just one example. Pneumonia you can decrease the risk of by practicing coughing and deep breathing regularly and using your incentive spirometer. Could I get rid of every con or decrease the risk of any of them to 0%? Absolutely not. But I felt comfortable enough at that point to say that the benefits of decreased risk of illnesses was worth it, for me. It may not be worth it for the next person, but it is definitely worth it to me. I felt like I was not living my life due to limitations that my weight and I were putting on myself.
I think the posters above me have some wonderful suggestions and I agree completely that counseling is a great idea both pre and post-op. We all come in with problems and issues with food. Then you throw in weight loss, possibility of failed expectations, and HORMONES GALORE, and you get people acting crazy and feeling bad (I will admit, I have all of the above!). Having therapy, a good support group, and helpful home support is really important for the success of many of us. Having time pre-op to get used to the diet and the eating changes would probably be really helpful. I didn't have this due to the scheduling of my surgery, but I think it would have been beneficial.
I saw my grandfather get almost his entire leg amputated from a diabetic sore that would not heal. His condition continued to deteriorate and eventually he passed away, due in part to the complications he had from diabetes. That scares me so much, and I'd rather have this surgery done now, than wait for any conditions to develop/worsen.
I hope that you figure out what's the right path for you, no matter what you decide.

I agree. I spent many months in therapy working on my emotional eating prior to even considering surgery. I came to the realization that I needed physical support and negative reinforcement to get the job done. I need to feel the pain of eating too much with my tiny tummy. I need to address the feelings that arise when I don't have my comfort food. This change is hard -- emotionally. I admit that I had a complication-free surgery and recovery so far is difficult but doable. With my new tool in place, I continue to work with my therapist on food.
I wish you the best in deciding what is right for you and your family - physically and emotionally.

I feel you! I was also battling to decide for a while. Here is my experience and I hope it helps:
I am a little over 3 weeks post-op and I'm realizing that there is one thing people on this forum (with all due respect) won't admit. It's simple but many of us don't want to say that we have an excessive psychological connection with food, and that fixing that relationship may be much better that cutting 85% of our stomach out.
This surgery isn't as simple as everyone says here (when I was reading this forum pre-op) and there are many things that there isn't much information about here too (like the painful drainer and annoying pimples under your incisions, etc...) You follow people as they decide and then see them commenting, "Yay, I'm sleeved and I don't feel much pain" and you think, "Wow, that's encouraging!" But that's not to blame anyone here. We're all on pain medication after and some people have complications and some don't. I had surgery the same day as 3 other people and they were eating 3 bowls of broth, drinking 2 bottles of Water and having 2 popsicles the first day (some ordered even more stuff) and I was vomiting for 4 days, so you may be one of those who have no trouble -- I hope so!
I've had to take a hard look at my life after surgery (nothing like before surgery) and realize that I became overweight because of certain things that happened when I was 17 that isolated me and made me turn to food for comfort. I now also realize that if I can psychologically resolve those issues or understand them better, that doing so alone will empower me to rid myself of the self abuse I engage in using food. This surgery will help you eat better, true. I've lost 20 lbs in a month (counting my 2 week pre-op diet) and yes, I'm in a stall now and I messed up eating solids way too early... But one of my regrets, aside from a minor complication I had and I might have to live with heartburn and medication for it for the rest of my life, is that if I would have dealt with my psychological issues (the root of the problem) not only would I have probably lost the weight without WLS but getting to goal and staying there would have allowed me to gain much self respect (the opposite of what caused my problem) -- self abuse. I would have probably been in much better health (especially since, like me pre-op, you don't have any, thank God) and I probably wouldn't be living on supplements either.
I encourage you to think about the root of the problem. I've always been very strong mentally (accomplishing things people who are much older are nowhere near), so that makes me wish I would have used a mental approach to tackle my messed up relationship with food first vs. an evasive/permanent surgical approach. Maybe I would have reached a resolution mentally and wouldn't have needed to mutilate my digestive system to help myself.
I'm sorry if this sounds too depressing or discouraging but I am being brutally honest.

I LOVE THIS RESPONSE!
Yes, this is a place for sharing, venting, questions, cheerleading, etc. But it is also a place for realistic responses and A-D-V-I-C-E. I agree we might all have a weak moment and eat a "bad" food. Then we get over it, and keep it moving. When you ASK FOR ADVICE...BE PREPARED FOR THE TRUTH! I, for one refuse to enable people here,and talk to them like they are children. We're adults who have made an adult decision to get healthy. Sorry, Nacho cheese Doritos don't qualify as a healthy alternative.
BTW: I want to see those chaps! LMAO!!!!

1. Not worrying that I have roughly 30 seconds to tie my shoes before I pass out.
2. Not being a B cup.
3. Not having the fear that the buttons on my clothes might pop off.
4. Not wanting to finish the food on other people's plates.
5. Not being able to see my feet (or other assorted body parts) while standing.

I am having to drop my daughter off at school this week. Normally, my husband does it because I have a 30 mile drive to work and he works in the town we live, therefore if I take her, we leave extra early! My daughter doesn't mind because usually I will get drive-thru Breakfast which is a rare treat for her. Anyway..she loves to eat a sausage patty sans the biscuit and a 1/2 of a hashbrown and a small sweet tea. (hence why it's considered a treat). Granted ..it smelled really, REALLY glorious, and deliciously breakfasty! She finishes her normal amounts, hops out the car, we say our goodbyes, have a good day, etc, & I drive away...my thoughts start to focus on that biscuit and 1/2 a hashbrown. Maybe a bite? My conscience screams loudly "NO NO NO..you haven't come this far to stop ..NO!". And you know what..I listened. So I drive the 30 miles smelling the food the whole way..never touching or thinking about it again until I get out of my car at work to throw the bag and all of its contents away. My sleeve is the tool that allowed me to learn self-control, something I was unable to learn until now. So ..what did I have for breakfast? Something pretty satisfying..see the below picture..and a self indulgent pat on the back!

I've said that...more than once and mostly to the same person.
"can I have Mac and cheese two days out"
"if I blend a pizza is that a liquid three days out"
"I swallowed gum nine days out".
I honestly think that this woman has psychological and emotional issues and I want her to get some help before she kills herself. She's been pushing death since day one. She needs help!

Well....no. Some of us (a lot of us) have surgery and then start eating sensibly. Some don't.

The human stomach weighs around 2 pounds. They generally remove 85% of the stomach, right? That would mean they remove 1.7 pounds of stomach and it would now weigh .3 pounds (or 4.8 ounces).