Heyher

Thank you guys so much. I was pretty mad at myself because last night I wanted Cookies bad. And I had way more then I know I should. This weekend when we have a better prognosis for my friend I will take my 1 year pics. Just doesn't seem right to me right now to be rah rah go me. Today's visit was much more promising then yesterday but I know he has a very long road ahead of him. Thank all of you for your positive words. They do mean so much to me especially as I try to enter maintenance. Just don't feel the need to lose much more. Maybe I will in time.

I hit one year today. I should be happy that I'm down from 250 to 160. But a very close family friend had a massive hart attack on Sunday and has been in a medically induced coma. His outlook isn't too promising because they don't know the extent of his brain injuries and meds and machines are the only thing keeping him alive right now. I saw him in the er and the image is haunting my thoughts. When I close my eyes I see this man who was full of life and love hooked up to these machines on a gurney convulsing in the er and in a coma in the icu.

The only two things keeping me distracted are food and Xanax. I worry about crossover addiction. I worry about starting bad habits and regain. I worry most about my friend. Walking, elliptical leaves my mind to focus on my friend. He is like an uncle to me. I have known him for 23 of my 30 years on this planet. I have to be strong for my mom and my other friend.

I'm not quite sure the point of this post. Maybe hoping for a cathartic effect in getting this all out. Maybe I'm in overdrive in my worry because we find out tomorrow if he has enough brain function to live off the machines and meds. Maybe I'm having some suppressed emotions from when my grandma passed under almost identical circumstances. All I know is I need to find my stress relief that doesn't involve food or medication. My MS doesn't benefit from this.

Mine started around 8-9 weeks post op. Stared slow. Then around 4 months it really picked up. 9 months post op I chopped it into a pixie to get rid of all the damaged hair and haven't had any issues since.

This is hard. Almost feel like I did right after surgery. 11 months out and getting a little reminder of what surgery felt like. Stomach hurts. Can't drink much at a time. No solid food. Dreading having to get some Isopure. But even my Syntrax shakes are killing my tummy. Diluted G2, sf Popsicles, if no improvement tomorrow adding isopure for Protein. Ugh.... Feel so stinking weak. But working on not getting dehydrated. Fingers crossed I can tolerate some Greek yogurt tomorrow. Need sustenance.

I noticed don't get hit on more or less. But I guess since I got skinnier I am more approachable. More people ask for directions or the time or whatever. Maybe since I'm not trying to hide anymore it's to be expected.

And men are intimidated by beautiful women. They say no, but they are. :-) congrats on the pregnancy!! I'm still a year away from trying. But I'll be watching to see how sleeved pregnancy treats people.

Keep in mind blood thinners and general anesthesia can also contribute to Hair loss. So can anemia and the physical and mental stress of surgery and all the changes associated with it. My hair started falling around 6 weeks. Kept up the Biotin and Protein and still didn't slow it down. Already had thin straight hair. At 9 months post op chopped my hair off into a pixie to get rid of all the damaged hair and the hair loss has basically stopped. So even if you think you are doing everything possible and nothing is working, just remember it will taper off.

I have an appointment with my neurologist who works at the same hospital as my surgeon and knows my surgeon and about my surgery.... I will talk to him to get his thoughts. If no success there I have my 1 year post op coming up soon. Don't feel that this is an emergency like a leak. Was just wondering if anyone who has either could share their symptoms so I could possibly have a starting point. My healing & weight loss has been smooth. But if around my 1 year mark I'm still stuck at 163 I will talk to my neurologist about trying the 5:2. Kind of like to get his blessing before I start anything new. Got his approval before the surgery. Just like to keep him informed. Ah the joys of an unpredictable chronic "illness"....

My profile changed to lapband I am guessing when they did the change to the new site.... I had the sleeve done feb 2013.

I am 10 months post op and I still get full off of Water. If I take too big of a drink or don't wait long enough between sips of water I can feel it creeping up the back of my throat. I don't vomit, just feel it sitting there. Also I have to wait longer then an hour after eating anything before drinking. When I eat 3oz of dense Protein I feel full for well over an hour. The constant feeling of fullness might sound like as blessing, but it's hard to meet my water goal for the day. It's even harder when I can only drink 10-12oz of water in an hour. I am self pay, so if it is a stricture I have to pay out of pocket for anything to fix it. Also I do have MS and one complication of MS is gastroperisis. Just so confused and over feeling full all the dang time...

I had a glass of moscato at thanksgiving. I think all the shots of root-beer vodka is what did me in. No vodka for this gal.

I had to be at a BMI of 40+ for 5+ years. I didn't meet the requirements. I went through the whole internal appeal and made it to an external appeal and ended up paying for the surgery. I have a self funded plan and asked my employer for an exception. Was told no. My coordinator said my plan was one of the least accommodating she ever worked with. I was so stressed I got shingles on my face and ended up delaying my surgery by three weeks. But I read a lot of people on here who had great success with the UHC appeals. My plan sucked butt.

To date, I've lost 91 pounds. At a smidge under 5'3", I've gone from a tight size 20 to a comfy size 12 pants, from a 2x (42DDD) top to a L (36D). I weighed 263.4 at my highest, I am 172.2 as of this morning. I still have 23.2 pounds to go to my personal goal but that's a number I just picked out of my ass, with absolutely no idea what that's going to look like or where I really want to end up. I'm just realizing what a delusional fat person I was before. I could look at myself in my bathroom mirror thinking I looked good. I had my "skinny" days quite often where I went out with my head held high thinking no one could possibly see how morbidly obese I was. At the same time, I always tucked myself in the back of pictures if I wasn't offering to take them. As one of the shorter people, that was no easy task as everyone tried to shove me up front. (As if they could move THIS mountain! HA!) The result from this is that I have very few pictures to compare my current body size to. Now, my head is telling me that I am "normal" sized. I am no longer the largest size in the store. I am no longer the largest person in the room anywhere I go. When I go shopping with friends who I've always considered average in stature, I am in their size or one smaller. I can pick up clothes and think that there is no fuckeding way that my assed will fit in that and it does. I am not skinny by any stretch of the imagination but I do think that I am fit. I am no longer afraid of a fitness class. I am no longer afraid of a day of hiking in the apple orchards. I am no longer afraid of a marathon day in hot weather at the park with the kids and the dog. I can easily jog in place for 45 minutes while I teach a kickboxing class joining in seamlessly whenever I care to without losing my breath. I am willing to try new exercises not caring what I look like and no longer making the excuse that I am uncoordinated so I can't possible try. All that said... I CAN'T SEE IT. I JUST CAN'T SEE IT!!! I am in constant doubt that I really am normal sized. I am in constant doubt that I am not still the big girl. I look at pictures of myself and while I know in my head I look better, all I can actually see is my fat thighs and the roll that's still apparent around my belly. I used to be able to pick up an article of clothing and know if it would fit and now I am terrified of being disappointed because it's too small because I am so unaware of my body size.I am constantly trying to compare myself to everyone around me, not because I want to tear them down and make myself feel better but because I want to see what everyone else sees. I am dying to ask everyone around me what size they wear, how much they weigh, if I can take a picture next to them so I can compare. I restrain myself, but it's hard. It's really really hard. You know how when you hear yourself on a recording, it's bizarre because that's not what you sound like in your head? You know how you can't hear your own accent? That's how I feel about my appearance. I can't see it. I am not fishing for compliments. I am not asking for reassurance because intellectually I know I am getting there. I just want to know when my self awareness will catch up with my actual being. ARGH!!!!! HELP ME!

Down from 250 to 163 in 10 months. I see myself and all I see is my pooch in my belly that refuses to go away. Makes me worry how bad it will be after kids. Anywho wish I could see it when people say how tiny I am. I started in size 20 jeans and wore size 7 today. I look at pics and I am in denial about how big I really was. Now that I'm the size I always thought I looked like, all I see is my bigger self....

Wedding night I got cocky with drinking. Not much of a drinker before. I was 8 months out from surgery and was out of my surgeons no alcohol window. Well my wedding night I spent most of the evening in the bathroom. Hangover was worse then I ever thought. Too much sugar wreaked havoc on my gut. Good thing my hubby is such an understanding guy. He laughs now that I spent our wedding night with the trots. Good thing it didn't kick in until after I changed.

I have UHC and it was a nightmare. My requirements were different. Appeal. Appeal. Appeal. Call your UHC customer service and find out exactly why you were denied & what needs to be done. Keep working the program that they have and resubmit. Never give up hope.

I remember u!! U look awesome, really really good. Congrrats to u. I'm still waiting except now, my day is Monday, I'm excited!! Gj u, n Lord willing, c u on the bench:)

Yay!!!! Congrats on getting your day and what a way to start 2014!!!

Thanks guys!!! The wedding was more then I could ask for. Loved every second of it. What I can remember I loved. Yup I boozed it up. And was paying for it.

So I haven't been around too much lately. But I am down to 163. 10lbs to go and they are holding on for all they are worth.... Ugh.

Congrats on your success and your surgiversary!!!

Feb 2013 I went into surgery at 250lbs size 20 jeans and 2x shirts. Now I have been battling stalls. November didn't move one lb. Now I'm sitting at 163 wearing size 7 jeans and med tops. These last 10lbs are a pain!!! Haven't been on in a few months. Since before the switch from VST to the new site....

No change. 167.

But I did just have a wedding so I'm pretty pleased I didn't go up 5lbs. :-)

For married yesterday. Last week has been a whirlwind and last night was the best night of my life.

OMG I'm getting married tomorrow!!!!!!!! I'm a mix of all kinds of emotions and I just want to shout it from the top of a mountain. :-)

WLS surgery related I stated this journey needing a size. 24-26 wedding dress and my dress is a perfectly fitting size 16. That means I'm at about a size 10-12 regular dress.

Oh!!! I also scored a size 7-8 true religion jeans from a consignment shop here for $30. They look brand new!!!! Start my new job Tuesday... Life is being pretty nice to me right now.

:-D

challenge SW 168

Today CW 167

Challenge goal 164

3lbs to go.

How was your recovery from surgery? I'm taking a month off but I don't know if I'll be strong enough to go back to work by then. It would be great to have some relief from the fatigue.

I took six weeks. I had disability from my work. The fatigue in the first four weeks was rough. But after I was able to start getting some carbs it helped. I could have gone back after five weeks, but the first few days back wore me out.

HW 250

SW 245

CW 168

GW 154

DOS 2/26/13