lunabella007

I read about that in this book about the subject and it really bothered me. I'm a very friendly person and for the most part I talk to people in public and always have conversations with them. But, since I turned 40 (well into 40's now) I noticed the "invisibility factor." I had heard about it and never thought it would happen to me. Sometimes I feel ignored and I know it's not my personality. I do think there is a prejudice against "older" women and heavy people. Yep, I think if I knew--- but how will we??? it would definitely make me angry.

Funny, I almost posted the same thing recently.

My husband asked what my biggest fear was about life after the surgery, and this was it. It's good to know that someone else has thought about it too. I guess I kind of lived in that "invisible" zone pre-op. It is going to take some getting used to!

I have noticed a difference!! I feel like people take me more seriously when I speak. If I don't style my hair or wear makeup (even when I do it is always very minimal, but apparently its makes a difference) or wear my glasses... apparently I look like im still in my teens. It honestly sucks sometimes. BUT, now that i've lost the weight it doesn't happen nearly as often.

I have noticed that waiters/etc treat me slightly better now. Or its more that they are less "by the book" professional. Does that make sense? Still professional, but it doesn't feel forced.

I wonder a lot whether it is me who has changed personality wise. I am more confident and I don't feel pressured to make up for anything when I'm speaking (i didn't realize I felt this way, until it went away). So it could be that the change is because i'm happier and more confident and the people I interact with respond to that.

That's a good point--confidence means a heck of a lot, and happiness is infectious! Great thoughts!

thats a thought of mine too..i have yet to be sleeved but im wondering how others are going to act once i cross onto the losers bench..as of right now on my Facebook i dont have a picture of my as my profile pic..what i do have is a sign that says *under construction check back soon* haha..my motto is *if you weren't there at my worst you don't deserve me at my best*

That's pretty much how I feel about it, too!

I was raised to always take people as they come, and to think about a person's kindness or intelligence before I think about the way they look.

We've all encountered people out there who are prejudiced and bigoted against those who are big-bodied, but what happens when those same people all of a sudden fall all over themselves to talk to you, get to know you, hook up with you, etc., just because you're thin?

I dislike prejudice of any kind, even when I'm on the "positive" end of someone's prejudice.

Those of you who have lost weight, have you noticed a positive difference in the way you've been treated in public? By waiters and waitresses, by shop assistants in clothing shops, by people on the bus, people at school or work? How do you keep yourself from resenting them for it?

I believe it to be caused, in part, by our bodies going into "survival mode". We are, in essence, starving ourselves though we don't feel it because our stomach is so small. Many non-essential processes (such as hair and nail growth, menstrual cycle) stop or change for awhile until our body reaches the "new normal".

It's just a side effect of drastic weight loss. It's ok, it means that your body has better things to do (like slimming you down!) than to waste a lot of energy on your hair and nails.

Also, just about everyone loses some hair, and just about everyone returns to their pre-surgery amount of hair. Just think, your hair may be even more lustrous and beautiful as it grows back than it was before because your body is so much healthier!

Gosh, this makes me feel lucky that my husband is "dieting" along with me. If I make a shake, he has some too. If I heat up some Soup, I hand him a mug. I just put Protein in everything that's mine and pretty much leave it out of his (because its so expensive and he doesn't like the taste.)

I made him dinner tonight because he had a long day, running around town, taking his elderly mother to doctors appointments. I made him a salad and some fish and chips--the salad had me drooling and I REALLY wish I could have had a taste!

I can't wait until I can have salads again

I'm keeping it a secret from my mother for now. She's got too much nerve-wracking stuff going on in her life right now with her parents being very sick, and she's under a lot of stress. She just had a stroke two months ago at the age of 51! She's a worrier, and I don't want her to worry about me, so I'll wait to tell her until I've lost weight and I'm clearly fine.

I told my brother, because he's trustworthy and won't let mom know. Everyone else can wait to see for themselves. I just don't think it's that big of a deal whether I lose weight using a mechanical alteration (surgery) or a behavioral alteration (low cal diet and lots of exercise).

Tracey, that's awesome!

What an exciting time this is for you! I'm so glad you're able to move forward now in the direction you want to go in! Since you asked for suggestions, might I suggest making sure your food tastes good? This is important before surgery, but even more important afterwards. You'll be eating much less than you did before, so you can afford to add a pinch of garlic, some lemon zest, some herbs and spices, whatever you're hankering for! If all you eat is chicken broth and yogurt smoothies, that gets old kinda fast.

Might I also suggest that you test drive some non-flavored Protein powders? You can literally put them in anything, and most post-op bariatric diets that I've seen rely on Protein Powder pretty heavily. Even people who can get their Protein from other sources, and have gone on to a solid diet sometimes can benefit from using protein powder in sauces, Soups, beverages, etc.

I'm so excited for you! You're going to do great!

My surgeon said that most people will experience some hair loss. If you think about it, your body is turning off the "non-essential" functions so it can focus on burning your fat for fuel. hair is pretty non-essential as far as our bodies are concerned, though I certainly don't feel that way! lol

I'm taking Vitamins for my general good health, a multi, Calcium citrate with vit. D, and will be taking Biotin and b Vitamins when my stomach settles a bit more.

I'm personally not worried about losing hair (though I DO love my hair) because it isn't permanent. For me, it's the same as having skin flaps hanging from my stomach and my arms--just part of the process!

Yes, yes and yes! My back actually hurts worse than my belly and I'm only 3 days post op. The nurse also offered me a pneumonia shot since I care for my elderly mother in law who is a cancer patient, and the site of the injection hurts more than my belly!

I had pretty bad gas pains on day one and day two. I passed my first air today and let me tell you it helped! Shoulder pain, chest pain, and back pain, and they're all getting better with passing the air.

It is fairly common I think!

I've been going back and forth about whether or not to tell people I'm getting weight loss surgery. I thought about posting it on Facebook, but I really don't want to give the impression that my body or my weight is a topic of discussion and if I post publicly about it, there's nothing from stopping people from treating it like that.

On the other hand, it seems silly not to say something upfront but wait until I start dropping serious amounts of weight and my friends and family noticing I'm suddenly 50 lbs slimmer before saying, "Oh yeah, I had surgery."

Thoughts?

I know exactly what you mean! Now that I've just had my sleeve (three days post op) I want to tell EVERYONE how good I feel! Also, some of my family members have been contemplating (and their doctors have suggested) having bariatric surgery, but they held off because of fear. I want to give them courage to do it if the only thing holding them back is nervousness over the procedure.

I don't want people to think I was capable of losing 100+ pounds alone all along and was just too lazy to do whatever the fad that week was.

In the end, there is no right answer. I may tell some people, but not others. If eventually word gets around, that's ok. I'm going to tell my dad after I've lost a bit of weight, and I'll tell my uncle who wants to do the surgery but is too nervous.

Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts, words of encouragement and prayers! I did manage to get some sleep (about 4 hours) before surgery but had a minor panic attack in pre-op, so much so that they had to give me a sedative.

But, for all of that my surgeon said I was an easy and pleasant subject My nurses were SO supportive, and got to know me and my husband personally. I got to leave the hospital today! I haven't eaten solid food in three days but I'm not hungry--and no heart burn! It's magic I tells ya!

Here is how I know your surgery will be a rousing success. My mom is coming down on Monday to Georgia to be with me through my surgery, and she lives in Pontiac, MI. So, by that theory, you have an awesome chick nearby who is a caregiver for another pre-op sleever so by that theory of just being in the same city - you'll be just fine since you're in Pontiac! Yes, I'm a big dork.

Good luck tomorrow!!

My surgery seems to have been a rousing success--are you psychic? LOL

It took me until day 3 post op to fart. Felt great when it finally happened too! I burped CONSTANTLY for the first 5-6 days, now it's only when I drink or eat.

It gets better Try Gas x strips if they don't nauseate you.

My husband is going to laugh so hard when he hears me whoopin' and hollerin' when I finally make an air lol

On the upside, though, I haven't had any heartburn AT ALL since I had the surgery, and I used to have to pop tums like they were candy!

gasX is a lifesaver just after surgery.

I've had two of the chewables but it doesn't seem to be helping

I had a great surgery, as far as I can tell. I was up and walking just four hours after coming out from anaesthesia--I use my spirometer religiously, take a walk every two hours, and cough to prevent pneumonia. I got the hiccups pretty bad, though. I even hiccupped through my surgery! They came and went, but tend to come more often when I go from sitting to standing *hic hic hic*.

I think these hiccups might be giving me too much air in my bowels. I'm burping ALL THE TIME but I can't fart! This is really frustrating, since I'm so full of air that I can barely keep up with my hydration--nevermind "eating" anything. My pain is manageable, but I'm telling you if I don't make an air soon I'm gonna scream!

Did anyone else here have this problem? How did you deal with it? How long did it take to go away? The only thing the nurses recommended was keep on walking--but I'm walking as much as I can!

What should I do?

I have my sleeve tomorrow morning. I'm still sorting through my feelings, but I'm glad that the day is finally here!

God, I'm tired! Like, bone-butt tired. I woke up at 8am without an alarm. My mother in law is very unwell in hospital, and is not getting better. We had to spend a lot of time sorting through her hospice care options today with her care team, and it was a bit emotional. We had to leave early to get to the surgeon's office to finish up the last of the business end of things for my surgery tomorrow. Then we had to find a grocery store (not easy in this town, lemme tell ya). I'm having surgery in Pontiac, MI by the way.

We got a bottle of clove, cardamom, and cinnamon Water and it tastes just like chai--mmm! And a bottle of lavender mint Water. Just cause I'm on a liquid diet doesn't mean it has to suck.

We're staying at the Residence Inn Marriot, and the room is so cute and comfortable, and has a microwave for my broth (thank God!) I took my milk of magnesia an hour ago which was surprisingly not nasty. Oh, and I straight up "ate" an entire quart of low sodium chicken broth after I peppered the heck out of it.

I'm not super hunger, but my head hurts though. Probably low blood sugar.

I have to have a shower tonight with Hibiclens, and another one in the morning before we go to the hospital. I don't relish filling out a crap-load of forms tomorrow morning when I'm hungry, barely awake, and scared. I hope they can give me a little something to relax me kind of quickly.

I'm having a hard time thinking right now, probably because I'm so tired. I wanted to write something eloquent and philosophical about losing something, and gaining something, and sacrifice, and how positive I feel about moving ahead with this whole experience but I'm afraid that will have to wait.

I'm kind of sleeping with my eyes open I was going to have a swim tonight, but I think the best thing to do now is to just have a sleep.

A woman today told me that I was beautiful! "You're beautiful, and Irish, what more could a woman want?" That random act of kindness made me feel so great--it was just some lady on the elevator at my mother in law's hospital--she didn't know me, but she made my day!

I've decided that I'm gonna work this sleeve for all its worth, and the party starts tomorrow!

Got to go, the milk of magnesia is kicking in!

It's so good to hear that you are doing so well! I hope I have such luck!

Congrats on your sleeve!

Don't forget to congratulate yourself on how far you've come! For me, 175 is still a dream far, far off. Still, I can understand how it would be frustrating! I bet this plateau is only temporary for you!

And this year's awesome wife award goes to...

That sounds magnificent! I'm going to try that for my husband!

Wow! What a blessing! Take care and lots of XOXOXOXOXOXO!

Really, I'm blessed to have such a wonderful woman in my life! Thank you for the hugs and kisses, you're so sweet

Surprised there is no preop diet to prepare your system!!

Congratulations though!! It sounds like you have the support you need and you have made a great decision for yourself!

May God bless this new chapter of your life!!!

Since I decided to pursue bariatric surgery, I've been on a carb restricted, high Protein, low calorie diet. Tomorrow I start the clear liquid phase of the pre-surgery diet.

Thank you for your kind words--I truly am blessed!

I went to my surgeon's office for an educational seminar and for a consultation today, and I am scheduled for surgery for FRIDAY!

I have so many feelings all going on at once. I'm not afraid of pain or of recovering--the anaesthesia has me a little worried (I have trouble giving up control to anyone!) but that's why God made sedatives, right?

I'm so thrilled that I'll have this surgery over and done with so I don't have time to get anxious which is why I deliberately chose the earliest date.

Making the last minute arrangements is a bit of a hassle, but I didn't expect it to be any different. Hopefully we'll be able to get the hospital forms ahead of time so we can fill them out Thursday night and we won't have to worry about them on the day of surgery.

Thursday is going to be jam packed--too much stuff going on! My husband and I are also taking care of his mother who is currently in hospital but will be released before long (possibly when I'm in another hospital recovering from my surgery). She is financing my surgery and I know that she wants to be able to see the results before she becomes too ill. We are in talks to begin palliative (hospice) care for her at home since she's got a lot of heart disease and lung cancer going on. She wants me to be healthy to take care of her son when she goes, so...

Well, that kind of made me tear up.

I'm so grateful to her and to my doctor who made this possible (and is an amazing human being).

Sorry to sound silly but do you need a catheter for this op?

I think some people do and some people do not. It is probably down to the surgeon's preference. Unless your surgeon tells you specifically that he or she wants one placed, I just assume that the answer is no. If it were standard practice with everyone, you'd think more people would be mentioning it on the forums (yowch!)

I'm from Missouri, so IDK what Cedar Point is, but if it's a big coaster I'll make the trek.

That sounds like an EXCELLENT idea! Yeah, Cedar Point is pretty much the funnest thing to do in the midwest (if you like roller coasters)! Back about 10 years ago, they had the tallest one in the world "Millennium Force"

I think we should have tee shirts made up and do prizes and everything! That would be an amazing motivator!