tellie

I know when I have eaten the wrong thing because I get a headache. both temples, feels like my skull is stretching too....thats the first sign, painfully subtle. If I insist on eating after that ( and lets face it, I do.... I have always eaten to try and get rid of pain, physical, emotional, or whatever) then the rest of the fun begins....... golfball, slime, etc.....

Now, when things are going down.....I know, because I get a small burp with each bite.... you have no idea how annoying and embarrassing it can get. ( unless you get it too? is this normal>?) At least it keeps me from eating in public.....

I have been back on liquids for 3 days, because I started having horrible heartburn, woke up choking on acid a few nights ago. I was afraid I moved something, but liquids go down ok.....so it should be ok right? I am seeing doc on monday and will refuse a fill, which he has been pushing for the last 8 weeks. How can I want a fill when I cant master the art of eating solids slowly and succesfully?

tellie

Hey! I have always been the fattest of my friends. I guess I have always had the double personality thing happening too, where I hated fat me in private and forgot I was fat in public. And if you dont make a big deal about your size, or pretend you dont know, people pretend not to notice either! ( I was going to say that that theory doesnt work in elementary school.... but the truth is, whomever noticed back then got beaten up badly .... see? how scary is the double personality thing?)

I am still the fattest of them all, but the gap is a bit smaller now...

Now, having skinny parents, that was hard! I was 10 when I could fit in my moms clothes, and by 12, I couldnt any more!

cheers!

tellie

ps, my mom who has grown a few sizes since menopause ( but is still smaller than me, way) has this thing on a wall that reads: " God, if you cant make me thin, make my friends fat" Her skinny friends are not amused, the fat ones laugh. Which proves we do have a better sense of humour.

Hi Francesca,

Well, the truth is I had to change my diet after the band and take it really easy with certain foods. At first I believed it was going to be as easy as controlling quantities rather than chosing different stuff to eat, but as my band got tighter, I had to give up things I could it at the start. ( my band was empty for 2 months after surgery) Its all about experimenting specially the first few weeks. The transition to full solids was really slow. The bites tiny and chewed for ever. I used to eat ( still do when I am stressed or under pressure - like from, say, a nosey mother in law asking why i chew so much- with the dreadful consecuences) a whole meal in a few minutes. A quarter of that same meal takes up to half an hour these days. I love steak, i love sausages, and i love chicken and bread. But now i eat the beef minced, no sausages, shredded chicken in Soup or risotto, and I leave the bread until I finished with everything else. If i still can fit it, I will have one bite and hope for the best. Lots of veggies and salads, because they go down nicely.

NOW, when stress hits i go back to my lifelong habits, and try to eat like I used to and it hurts! I am sorry you are starting at the deep end! good luck! ahhh and remember its a vicious cycle, the more you PB or vomit, your stomach gets hurt and tighter and its harder to eat.

Vera, thanx for the explanation of the liquid thing.

tellie

Lisa! I am so sorry you had to go through that! Sounds horrible. I am glad they found what it was and treated it though.

sending hugs your way,

tellie

Hello Jennye,

I am glad to hear your mom is back home and getting better. hang in there and take care of yourself. All the best.

tellie

Thank you Lisa!

You are so sweet! I had never had a problem with smelly diapers before but today I got teary at first, but then had to give up and run away. Hope she wont be traumatized!

Thanks for the info on how to get info. Its the worst day for liquids!!! My in-laws whom I havent told (or will tell) about the band are coming tonight and staying over. Last time they were here I had trouble with dinner and dear mum-in-law kept asking my hubby what was wrong with me. Ack! I better go now and prepare soup! Roast beef just wont do for me today.

Thanx a lot

Tellie

Hi guys!

I am not pregnant ( I think), but an episode this morning reminded me of when I was, and the constant nausea/retching I endured for 7 months. Quite violent actually, and I got a bit worried since we are not supposed to be doing that right? I am actually hoping to start trying by the end of the year.

The episode this morning involved a dirty diaper and me running away from the poor smelly child retching. I am still sore, and not quite sure I should eat today since liquids are going down very slowly.

thanx for any insight.

Tellie

Hi birdee,

It must be so frustrating that your friend is so insensitive, but don't waste your time and energy getting angry at this person! ignore her and her arrogance. It is so easy to think that the surgery will be the solution, that it alone will fix the problem, that some of us are completely blinded to the fact that its just the start of the struggle... until we struggle :cool: And I am sure we all do struggle because we must share the bad habits that got us here in the first place.

And you shouldnt feel like a failure! I am also 'taking my time' to lose the weight. In my fantasies back in November (surgery) I should have lost all my fat by now. Not even close, but I have lost 1/3rd of it and that is fat that is GONE for good! as long as the scales keep going down, it is all good.

I wish I had more control, and was better at this, but I do as best as I can today, and hope tomorrow will be better. ( Today was abominably bad btw)

cheer up!

tellie

ack! did I say back to saladland? I am out of control! I actually made tamales last night (never attempted before in my life), and have been slowly but surely eating them today like there is no tomorrow! It scares me that I can still lose control this way, also because it seems, the more I eat, the more i CAN physically eat ( like my band expands when i binge or something) I scare myself, its like good old me is back.....the me that went on a rampage every time after breaking yet another diet......At least my binges have limits now.... I am just feeling like Mr. Hyde is out again :cry will *I* ever get a grip?

I hope my kilo stays away.... and my self control remembers its way back...... argh!!!

tellie

ps, kelly, hope your son has a wonderful party! all the best to Mr.2 and welcome to life with a 2 year old! ( my daughter will be 3 in November)

First of all, Donali and Kelly WOW! you look great! Love the new pics!

Kelly I am glad you sorted out your problem by having some liquid removed. It is a horrible feeling when nothing goes through. Enjoy your meals while you can have slightly biggers serves, and remember sometimes eating again activates the metabolism ( specially if combined with a bit of excersise).

cheers

Tellie

ps, Its so weird! after being very careful for weeks on what I eat, went crazy on mac and cheese, chocolate and ice cream on sunday, and finally lost a kilo after 3 weeks of nothing!!!!! back to salad land now tho....

Jenye,

prayers and lots of positive energy going towards both of you. Take care, thinking of you.

tellie

that is too cool! Cant wait to loose my cushion

congrats!

tellie

Hmmmmm

I usually dont eat anything between dinner and bed time, and there is a 4-5 hr gap between them. Still, i am tight in the morning. But then again, I am probably not a good example. I dont seem to understand how the band works anyway, and do it all wrong ( like drinking, throwing up, etc). I will be more careful for a week and then start with the 'experiment' of the empty stomach to bed, easier to have breakfast.

I actively avoid eggs though, they make me feel unconfortably fool too! ( maybe thats a reason to eat them instead of eating more of other stuff.....)

all the best

tellie

Now I am scared! I just realised how complacent i have become with my band, and how dangerous that is. I 'return' some food 3-4 times a week. Since my regurgitation doesnt involve any spasms, i had chosen to NOT consider it as vomiting. And it is, and I might ruin all this!

Thank you for bringing up this subject. I feel so dumb! Its not like I didnt know.... I just want to keep eating the way I ate to get fat in the first place....

ack

Hi guys,

Hope all is well with all of you.

I am back from my beautiful Mexico, where I managed to lose 5 kilos while enjoying the delicious food and drink. When I got back, went to see my doctor immediatly since i wanted a fill to try and continue with the losing trend. Wow! he only put .5 ml in and a sip of Water would take minutes to go down. Nothing other than Water would go down. Day or night. So he removed the .5 mil, which leaves me with room for a lot of food in the evening. I am a bit puzzled by this. I cant eat in the morning, can have thick Soup or a salad for lunch, but dinner is whatever I want in unlimited amounts. I am thinking of going back and asking for .2 ml whether that would make a difference or not, I dont know.

Ahhhhh and let me tell you my awful experience with frozen margaritas! One night we went out for frozen margaritas and I drank a few while snaking on cc's. I was actually surprised that they were going down ok, but at night i can eat almost anything so i did. After I got home i started feeling abdominal pain. Like bloating but worse, hard to describe, but basically i couldnt lie down that night. My theory, since i like to come up with them, is that the ice numbed me, so i ate too much? fast? unchewed? and hurt my insides without me feeling it until it got back to body temp! I told my doc when i came back, and his reply was " Frozen margaritas shouldnt be a part of your diet" ack! of course not....

all the best,

tellie

Thank you Alexandra, Megan....

Thanks for the advise. The first few weeks after surgery I was so scared of something going wrong and having to have surgery again, and then i just lost sight of priorities. I have decided to go on soft diet for a while, since eating solids when I am so stressed ( hate flying ( phobia), dread flying with a 2 year old, terrified of separating my child from her dad for 5 weeks when she cant fall asleep if he is not home... and then the stuff in spain doesn't help the paranoia.), is just not going to work. I binge when I am stressed, before the band I lost track of what or how or when I ate under stress; now I only realize what i did when it starts hurting or is stuck.... I even drink so fast that Water comes back or stays in the esophagus for a while! Its like I forgot that I knew that eating this way could have really bad consecuences....

I appreciate the reminder... I will be careful.

Thank you

tellie

I just love reading you guys! I had been avoiding this place for the last week or so, since i started choking/pbing at every meal. Because i knew I would complain :eek: and I also know it is my fault. I want to eat everything, and eat it fast, and cant really control the swallowing very well either. I was loving the band when nothing got stuck ( of course I lost no weight then either) but this week I have screamed in pain while facing the toilet bowl too many times....so hungry yet 'returning' my food. I have been so angry! Last night I cried because I was so hungry and the grilled fish I desperately wanted got stuck.... and I cried, and hurt and kept going for more like it would somehow fix itself if I kept trying!

was not fun. I was completely irrational.

Now I am not sure if i should have it unfill a little bit before my trip, to be safe, or somehow change habits in one week.... as if

There, I whined.... thanks

tellie

Thank you for your replies. All I have to worry about now is travelling 30 hrs with a 2 year old -ugh!

Hey, but as long as I am here....can anyone tell me how long is the tube connecting to the port? ( as in, one size fits all or different sizes) and is it attached somewhere or just there on its own? I sometimes feel something when i try to sleep on my left side, bit annoying.

Thank you guys

tellie

Hi guys.....

Here i go with another of my weird questions.....

I am going to Mexico in 4 weeks and told my doctor so when I went for a fill yesterday but he was in a hurry so we didnt get a chance to talk about what if anything happens when you travel? is it better to take liquid out ( I wont let him though, only have 1.5 in)...

ok, my real question is, does the change in presure affect the band at all? I suppose not since women fly with breast implants all the time.... heheh i just keep picturing how Water bottles look after landing.... anyway.... I am very excited.

Now, my second fill, was as easy and fast as the first one. I almost made the 24 hrs on liquids ( I was bad, soo hungry!) But now I can only eat 3-4 bites of anything before I feel its filling up my esophagus! The problem is, after an hour I am sooo hungry again.....

Ahhhh, and the noises! i can hear ( and feel) the food "settling" and it can be embarassing ( specially if I am on the phone)... it is unsettling ( not to mention my hungry stomach roars)

cheers

tellie

Have you tried a Protein Bar, rather than shake? They taste much better, and if you sip tea or coffee, they melt in your mouth.

I have a slim fast bar every morning, but then again, I crave sweets in the morning.

tellie

Hi guys

I am also losing really slow (3 months, 16 days and counting) and as of yesterday I was back to only losing 7 kilos ( from 10 kg - I blame the heat wave in melbourne).

I have to admit, I feel a twinge of pain in my new stomach every time I read how many pounds other people are losing ( specially since you all write in pounds which is like .5 kilo so for a second before i convert is like WOW!!!! what am i doing wrong!!???? that is, besides eating pretty much all I want in portions larger than I would like to and enjoying every morsel.....))

Ok, I am off track, what I came to say is that of course we shouldnt be tempted into comparing our progress to others', we are all in the race to get to the finish line, nobody is timing it tho, so we are not competing with each other.

Now, my mantra if you like, this time around ( after hundreds of diets) has changed to quality not quantity, in every sense. I want to lose weight while enjoying every day, every meal, and with NO concern of how much faster i could do it if I applied myself to the task at hand. After all, this time around, it is NOT a diet. I am finally making changes that have to last for the rest of my life. Every diet before: pills, shots, starvation, Protein, carb, no carb, low carb, grapefruit, rice and melon, cabagge Soup, etc, etc, were about how fast i could lose as much as possible before I lost the ability to keep up the madness and go back to .... well, eating like fat me. Now, my will power (so to speak) is not going away after 6 weeks of hunger! So I am enjoying every day that the scales go down a little bit ( hopefully the heat wave will be over soon

Sorry I tend to go on and on and on....

tellie

ps, I am soooo looking forward to my next fill on thursday I only have .5 ml in at the moment which means, well... lots of food!

HI Susannah,

I was terrified of not waking up and leaving my daughter alone but quality of life won over fear. Talk to your doctor. I went to Mr. Blamey ( im in melb too) and he is so reassuring and talented.

All the best.

Tellie

Hi Sheila

Don't worry!!! Something does happen to the brain chemistry ( at least in some of us) when we are going through the pain and deprivation post op.

I am good with pain, but the depression was overwhealming and I blamed it on the pain, I questioned my motives and thought I had screwed up and that this device inside my body was going to ruin my life!!! ( imagine that????!!!!) My husband was so worried he called the doctor to explain what was going on, and the doc called back and talked to me ( he is soo nice) even had one of his patients call me so we could talk about... well, whatever i was worried about.

Be strong, every day will be a bit better and you will forget the bad stuff.

Tellie

Hi guys, thank you for the replies....

I hadn't really considered the weather as a factor, but since I'm in the middle of the australian summer, I can't blame it anyway.

Donali, apparently it's pretty standard here to have .5 ml fills every month until it hits the ideal spot for the patient, thats why I'm seeing the doc in 3 weeks. I am just worried that I will only start feeling restriction then, when I am getting the next fill. And I have considered asking him to give me 1 cc rather than just .5ml.

I don't know what to do! Ireally wanted to lose more weight before I tell my doc I am going overseas -he will want to unfill me and I dont want to stop this process even for 4 weeks ( ok, eventhough I am eating as much as before right now, it might still kick in) and hey, losing a few more kilos will make that plane seat that much less unconfy :confused: BTW!! would the changes in pressure do anything to the band???? like when you travel with bottled Water and the bottle gets depressurized.

Jennye, this is my 3rd month too! had it done on the 1st nov.

take care

tellie

Hi guys, me again asking for your valued opinions.

Got my fill ( still am quite embarrassed for my panicked post before that) and the weirdest thing happened! Up to the day of the fill, i was having trouble eating fast, would get full quite easily, couldn't gulp, and was getting dinner and Breakfast stuck most days ( not proud here, just honest - have trouble with chewing and eating slowly). After my first fill, i had to go on liquids for 24 hours. Then started eating, and to my surprise..... 1) nothing gets stuck anymore, 2) I can eat as much as before surgery 3) I can eat things I wasnt able to eat before without sipping Water ( like bread), freely.

:confused:

i keep trying to find a logical explanation, and being really good at making up excuses for everything all i could come up with is that maybe the band was making my stomach opening sit in some way that was blocking something or other ( see how solid my hypothesis is?) and the fill moved it and unblocked the path into my bottomless pit?

Having read stories of how it can take days to "kick-in", I waited patiently but today is day 7 and im still quite capable of eating more than I am allowing myself ( which is quite anyway).

any ideas? I am seeing my doc in 3 weeks for my next fill anyway so I am not too stressed.... just contemplating maybe getting a bigger fill next time.

Thank you

Tellie