MeganA

Jack- You'll note I said that I eat my bowl of shredded wheat in the evening....that's the only time I can manage anything like that. I don't even try fruits or veggies until after 3...so I end up getting in most of my Protein in the morning (a glass of milk and then an egg mixed with cottage cheese) and lunch (tuna salad, a chicken leg, a fish stick) and then I eat my complex carbs at mid day and evening. I had to PB quite a few times to get the hang of eating the more fiburous stuff...but the key really is to cut it into pieces about the size of a piece of chiclet's gum. Darcy- I LOVE whole wheat Pasta. I wouldn't go back to the boring, taste-free white stuff if you paid me. The thing is, I have to chew it like crazy and take little bites...and I can't eat very much...so sometimes I get hungry an hour or so after eating it... Try it thought...then let me know what you think! Megan

My two cents... I agree with Penni- it's time to let the FDA and the various federal medical boards know about what is going on about INAMED's practices. I wonder if someone would be willing to write a letter and email it everyone who's had problems and they can send it in, too. I'm sure that this would get INAMED's attention. The way to make it hurt very badly for Dr. Frankenstein....I mean Lopez...is to start getting to his patients before they have surgery from him...hit him in the pocketbook. So- any ideas? Megan

Carol- So glad your feeling better! Just curious how your port/band did with the coughing? Are you still sore? Megan

Vera- Thanks kind of what I thought...I can eat lean meats and veggies and fruit (most with skin peeled, of course!)...seems much more sane than all meat all the time. We need the Vitamins in fruits and veggies. Plus, I think the whole atkins craze gave good carbs a bad name too! If I didn't eat my shredded wheat every evening...I'm constipated as all get out. It's not ALL about losing pounds...but more about gaining moderation and eating healthy things. Glad you all found the article useful... I'm going to bed now. Megan

I just realized today that 255 pounds is a pretty big milestone for me and I wanted to share why. I must have been in about 9th grade when I stepped on the scale and it said "255". I very clearly remember thinking- "Oh my god I am so fat and so close to 300 pounds. If I ever weight 300 pounds I'm going to kill myself". I'm not much of a drama queen- so that was a pretty big thing for me to say to myself and I'm pretty sure I meant it even then. Well, I got to 300 pounds and you know what? I was killing myself. Just slowly. So, now I sit at a weight I haven't weighed since I was in 9th grade. What a feeling. Has anyone ever heard the saying "What we fear we create"? I think in this case it fits perfectly. I was so afraid that I was so worthless and such a fatty that I'd end up weighing 300 pounds one day. Interesting. Megan

I can't answer the question based on my experience because I'm only a year and a month out... The only person I know that you might know who has been banded for a long time (4-5 years?) is Sharon Osborne. She looks fantastic. I believe she started at 250lbs or so. The great thing about the band is that it is always adjustable. If a person changes their lifestyle to work with the band, the weight should not come back on. But that means that if you start eating a bucket of ice cream and a bag of chips a day the weight will come back on. So, it's really a choice for us...where the RNY folks don't really get one- their bodies sometimes learn to compensate. Megan

Carmen- Did you have a PB episode or a "stuck" episode that could have triggered the new tightness? If I were you, I'd take three days off of regular food and see what happens. My doctor recommends cream based soups when I'm swollen because they are heavier and pass through the stoma without needing much help from the esophogus. Everyonce and awhile I'll have a tough time with being too restricted and once I go to soups for a couple of days I feel better. But if in a couple of days you aren't feeling better, then I'd check it out with the doctor. But, I'm not a doctor...not even a nurse! so take my advice with a grain of salt. Megan

Great timing Lisa! I don't know what's happened to me but I have been eating crap like it's goin' out of style. The weird thing is, I never used to be a sweet eater...I used to eat rice and Pasta...bread...you know the drill. Now that I can't eat that stuff- I've turned to candy and Cookies...and I don't even like candy or cookies! I'm stuffing my feelings and need to get a handle on it. Hold on- I'm going into the kitchen to throw it all away. There. I'm in on the challenge. What's everyone's prize for being successful? You all know I love prizes...mine is this to-die-for soft pink winter scarf I saw at Target the other day and just couldn't see buying. Now I'm going to earn it!!! So- here's my very public goal... I will refrain from eating more than one treat a day for one week. Then I get the scarf. Ha. Megan

Lyle- I'm so glad you've found hope. I always wondered what it was like for a big guy growing up...I think girls can be snotty to each other, and guys can be pretty cruel to girls...but I'd think guys would be even harder on other guys. I have to admit that one of the biggest changes I've made since I was banded- well, at least the last six months- is that I've stopped the negative inner talk about myself and my weight. I don't know how something that sits on my stomach has changed my brain so much, but it has and thank god for it. It sounds like your inner talk is under control. Doesn't it feel so good to have that brain space available to think of positive things? :-) Thanks for sharing your story. Megan

Sounds to me like the doctor wouldn't do surgery because the bowel wasn't cleaned out. I can imagine that they want you as clean as possible so if there are any complications there is no icky stuff that gets into the body cavity. I'm sure the doctor can't tell if you've had a steak dinner for two or whatever the pre-surg diet called for- he can just tell that you didn't clean yourself out enough. I had to do a nasty explosive diareha regimine before surgery to make sure I was nice and clean. And to tell you the truth- I'm really glad I didn't have to go #2 for a long time after surgery. Megan

Hi there...I'm so sorry you're having such problems. It sounds like you are really struggling with both the physical and the emotional aspects of having weightloss surgery. If you really feel totally out of control, I'd suggest you get yourself to a therapist ASAP. If you know the rules and are self-sabotaging yourself anyway...there is probably a lot more going on than anyone on this board can help you with at this point. Please know that you aren't alone, and that others have had to get help to deal with exactly the issues you are discribing. My hunch is that if you got the band removed, you'd gain back all the weight you have lost plus much, much more. Having the band removed isn't going to solve anything if you're emotionally unhealthy. In fact it's probably keeping you from gaining a significant amount of weight as we speak. Maybe that is what your band is designed to do for *you*- keep you from gaining while you work out the issues in your emotional life. If you look at it that way, you are a success. It's not your fault...you aren't a bad person or a failure. You just have some different challenges and your strong enough to work through them. But I'd say again- find a therapist who deals with eating disorders and compulsive behavior **tomorrow** You deserve to feel good about yourself! Keep us posted... Megan

Thought I'd define the two for newbies... PB (Productive burp) is undigested but chewed up food that sits in the pouch - so when it comes back up there are no stomach acids that come with. I think of it as slimed, chewed food. Usually tastes the same as it did going down. Gross, I know! This is an expected part of being a bandster, but it is recommended that you take care not to do it. Vomit- stomach acid and partially digested food come up. This is extremely dangerous for the bandster to do. It can cause slippage and reflux. Take any and all precautions not to do this. If you have food poisoning, the flu, etc...my doctor says to contact him immediately. R- I've never vomited since I was banded. Hope this helps! Megan

What a fantastic thread. I've never told ANYONE this (besides my doctor)...so I thought I'd tell the hundreds or so members of this board. My moment(s) came when I started to have pains in my chest. It was this thread of pain that would come and go. I never told anyone because I was so ashamed. When I was checked out by the doctor they didn't find anything that would indicate a heart attack or anything severe. But it scared the SH** out of me and I took it as a sign from my body that I just couldn't live at over 300 pounds anymore. My dad had a heart attack at 38, my mom has type 2 diabetes and when I finally stopped to take stock of my health...it was like I had a crystal ball in front of me to tell me my future if I stayed on the current path. Denial is a very uncomfortable place to live...but at least it's familiar. But Now I feel like I have a future- and sometimes it's unfamiliar and scary...but that's when I feel most alive. Megan

What your experiencing is totally normal! Your little stomach just feels better now and wants some food! Don't panic!!! Just drink something with a little sugar in it- try some kool-aid or some Jello with sugar in it. I found that the more I ate of the sugar free stuff, the more hungry I got. This too shall pass...I promise! Megan

Uh...Not being able to fall asleep is miserable. The only thing I've found to really work for me is meditation. It sounds cooky but it works. I rumminate so much at night. It's almost like the minute the light turns off my mind turns on. Sometimes I fall asleep anyway. Sometimes I take Unisom- but then I just rumminate in slow motion :-). So, I learned to meditate and clear my mind. It takes practice but now, if I need to, I can meditate for ten minutes- totally clearning my mind, focusing on my breathing, feeling a peaceful bright white light fill my mind and body...and I'm out. Like I said, it took practice but now it works for me- especially when I'm at a new place... I hope you have a chance to rest soon, Penni. I'm thinking of you!!! Megan

Donali- I was hoping that your quietness was a result of having wonderful times with your new live in lovaaaa :-). Sorry to hear that you're struggling. My heart goes out to you and I think of you often. One of the things I've learned since banding (and I'm sure you already know this but I just wanted to give you a friendly reminder) is that there is sometimes GOOD stress in our lives- any change can create stress and trigger old habits- even good stuff. Try not to be too hard on yourself and keep tabs on that black and white thinking!!!!!! I just hope you know that you've got a bunch of people here rooting for you and will love you no matter what! Megan

Kim- It's perfectly normal to have doubts and to be scared. It probably means that you have realized what a change this is going to be in your life and change is often times very, very frightening. As far as the pre-surg diet goes- can you look at taking it one meal at a time? Also- set a daily goal for yourself and then give yourself a reward- maybe it's a long distance phone call to a friend that normally you think is too expensive it make, buy a magazine that you normally just glance at in the store. Do something that can help you think positively about the experience and that gets you excited. I had to do this A LOT in the beginning because I thought I was going to go crazy without food and the depravation of the pre and post op diet is exactly what triggers my obsession. I earned for myself a couple of magazine subscriptions, a beautiful ring, and a pair of pearl earrings...along with a lot of little things. It's kind of hard at first to find non- food rewards...but once you start looking you'll see little things that you will now be able to afford from your left over food budget! Another piece of advice I have for when you find yourself falling off the wagon- which EVERY ONE of us does...don't be hard on yourself. This is a learning process and the only way to learn is by making mistakes. Megan

I need a secret lapband boyfriend! Depending on how tall Tall Guy actually is...maybe we could share! Megan

It struck me as I was reading this hilarious thread that I,too, am addicted. I admit it. I don't post all that much, but even before I met so many of you I felt like I knew you all pretty well. I know I check in so often because this journey can feel very solitary. Other peope can empathize but they don't "know" like you all do. What a great addiction to have- a place where you feel safe enough to bare your soul or just to vent about an every day gripe. We are so lucky to have each other! Megan

Gosh, thanks everyone for your kind words. This board is really, really special. What a safe and warm place in a not so warm electronic environment. I very much appreciate all of the words of congratulations and encouragement. You are all the best! Megan

Blossom- I'd say you should definitly look into finding an alternative surgeon. The hard part isn't getting the surgery, actually. I think the most challenging is finding a surgeon who provides great follow up care. If the office is this way now, I just have to imagine that they will be this way after you have surgery. You don't need a doctor's office to give you the run around when you have a too tight fill, or get the flu, or... I'd rather you wait another year for another round of insurance stuff than get banded tomorrow and have no follow up. But then I know how frantic I was to get the surgery NOW when I finally decided to have it. When the nurse said there are lots of people waiting...the first thing that popped into my head to say is- "I don't care if there are lots of people waiting- **I** am waiting". I never would have said that or even thought that pre surgery. I let people walk all over me and even did it to myself. Best of luck! Megan

Photo from last weekend in Vegas

I think I had lost about 15 pounds

Photo Now Minus 51 lbs

Before Photo