MeganA

Get well soon, Katie. Let's hope you're on the road to recovery and the new band fits just right!!! Megan

It's all in the fill, baby. You aren't filled enough. There are various levels of restriction: Level 1- I can still eat half of a pizza if I chew slowly and take my time. I can feel the food hit the band then slide right down. That means I can eat more!! Woo Hoo! Level 2- Still can eat pizza, only 1/4 of one now...and every once and awhile something gets stuck and it hurts! I notice I'm not as hungry in the morning and have to remind myself to eat Breakfast. Level 3- Pizza, who can eat pizza? Food stays in the pouch for just a bit, I notice that it's still not long enough to make me full for several hours. PBing (throwing up stuck food) happens more frequently if I'm not super careful because I'm still hungry after I've eaten the bandster portion, an because it doesn't stay in the pouch, I'm frequently hungry just an hour or so after I've eaten. Level 4- I can eat a piece of lunchmeat and stay full for several hours. I can feel my pouch now, and know when it is getting full so I stop. I rarely PB, even though I have such good restriction because I'm no longer still hungry after I only eat a few bites. I'm satisfied. This is my experience, and maybe others have a better way of describing it. You really only know it once you have it, which is very frustrating when you're just starting out. It takes a few fills to get to Level 3 or 4. Megan

This is so funny. My brother, after hearing about my man troubles, decided I needed a diversion so he got me 10 little baby chicks for my birthday. I moved out into the country this fall and love it...but I've never had chickens before. Apparently they are egg layers. In about five months I'm going to have eggs coming out my ears. Megan

Oh...Gram...it's worth it. One thing I have to add to this whole thread is that once you get a good level of restriction, EVERYTHING changes. Untiil my last fill, I was struggling to control my eating- especially at night. I felt totally controlled by food even though I had restriction and couldn't eat a lot. chips and cheese, candy, Cookies...all of these things called my name every day after about 4 in the afternoon. Then I got another fill and I- seriously- have to remind myself to eat. My stomach growls and that tells me I haven't eated in a few hours and should start thinking about it. I live on summer sausage slices and chicken thighs marinated in yummy stuff. I don't feel that terrible, uncontrollable all consumming urge to eat anymore. I go to bed a lot of the time hungry because I'm just not that interested in eating. This is very, very different for me because when I havne't had a good fill, I've gone to bed sore from eating too much, too. So, moral of the story- Lisa, of course you don't feel physically and emotionally all that different...you have a band that is not working at it's optimal level. Until you can get another fill you're not going to get the full benefits of the band, and thinking that you can is only going to bring you heartache. I think in another post you covered that you had re-thought how your band is going to work for you going forward, and that's very important and very wise. Megan

Check out the email I got this morning from the "great" guy I have been seeing for the last three weeks. >>Just so you know, Chris is married to me. In other words, he has a wife. Please leave us alone. >> It came from his email address, and I haven't heard from him since. I never did see his house...something always came up when we were supposed to hang out there. I seriously thought I was going crazy because he was acting so strange but I discounted it to mono...which he probably never had but just needed to buy some time for the wife. Poor woman. I want revenge. I want to make him squirm. I want this to have been a bad dream and to wake up tomorrow and have it not be true. I'm so upset I'm not even hungry. That says a lot, let me tell you. Which one of you posted that I should make sure to see his house and meet his friends before I got too attached? You were right on sister. Megan

I forgot to add that he triple swore that he doesn't have kids. My friend Brigid did a drive by of his house to see if there was any child paraphanelia lying around. She said his house was really, really nice...but it was cold and sad. No kid stuff. No sign of life or happiness. That made me cry. Megan

Many, many thanks to those of you who have shown me such support over the last week. I'm doing much better, as time has a way of healing wounds- emotional or physical. Chris stunned me by meeting me at a park to answer my questions and say goodbye in person. I asked every question I could think of, and got some answers. Whether or not I can believe them, now that's the real question. He held me when I cried, and I've never ever been that emotional or vulnerable with a guy before. It felt good to be the real me and not put on a show while hiding my true thoughts and feelings. I'm still angry and hurt, bitter and sad. But I know I wasn't just a good-time girl to him. He said that was his intention at first- to find someone to just have fun with on match.com and no one would know while he was seperated. Then he met me and he said that within 5 minutes he knew I was going to be special to him and date after date we had so much fun and got along so well that he started to not sleep at night trying to figure out how to tell me he was seperated without loosing me. He said he really did get mono and he thinks it was from all the stress. Funny how your karma catches up with you! So, now he doesn't know what he wants which isn't my problem. He wanted to be friends, somehow....see what happens in the next month and blah blah blah. He said that wasn't fair to me to make me wait around for him. I laughed and said, "You really think I'm going to wait around for things to happen to me?" And he chuckled and said no. So, he's got a lot of work to do- and it's not anything that I want any part of. If I stay in the picture in any way, it will be a distraction for both of us. I told him that he needs to go and do whatever he needs to do. And I've got a date with a new guy on Wednesday night. I've been really afraid that if we don't talk or email or anything that he will forget about me and if the marriage ends, he won't remember me. Isn't that insane? I really don't think I'm all that forgettable and if I am, F*** 'em. Megan

Go to the mattresses, Babs! Don't take this crap. I am sorry you're so disappointed. Megan

OH no Penni. This is such sad, sad news. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Megan

Penni- that is great news about your mom. I'm so glad it is something that can be diagnosed and treated. She sounds like she's on the mend. I'm very relieved and happy for you both. Megan

I was going to PM Donali with this question because of her experience with therapy in this area but I thought others might benefit from the information, too. Most of you know I've been through a little trama as of late, and I'm having a really hard time with all the feelings that are cropping up inside of me. Before the band, I would have eaten until I was numb. As soon as I started feeling anything again, I would have eaten more and more and more. Now, with the band, I can't numb myself. I have to "deal" with my feelings...but what the hell does that mean? How do you deal with feelings? I never knew how much anxiety I carry around in myself until now- when I have a great level of restriction and can't eat enough of ANYTHING to make it go away. Donali, others...what are your thoughts? Megan

Donali- exactly what I was looking for. I had started writing on Sunday when I really felt crazy about everything but had no answers. I wrote ten pages and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders...for about ten minutes. But it was a good ten minutes. I've been writing every time I get distracted and find myself staring out into space - which is about every fifteen minutes. I am trying not to run away from the pain but embrace it and live in it and then let it go. But I didn't really know that was what I was doing until I read your response to my question. Once again, you are my guiding light. It hurts, and I guess it's supposed to. It feels like the pain is centered in my body- in my chest. I wonder why that is. Daisydoodle- Dr. Phil always says you have to replace a one habit with another. I really like your idea of walking walking walking. I am going to go out at lunch today and do just that. I do feel like I have to DO something. Anxiety builds and builds and since I work at home, on my computer, it's a terrible place to be when this is where I would talk to him all day every day for the last three weeks. Three weeks isn't a very long time, but you sure get used to something quickly. Vera-It sure feels like if you fix something, something else breaks. Kind of like the saying "you can't clean something without getting something else dirty". Thanks for your thoughts. Megan

Penni- I'm so sorry to hear this. I will keep you and she in my thoughts. Please keep us posted. You're mom is lucky to have you there to help. Megan

Thanks so much everyone! All in all, I'm having a great day. Thanks again! Megan

Lisa- I actually got the email from his wife in the afternoon, sorry about the confusion. We had emailed all day long and made plans for my birthday and then I didn't hear from him after I got the email from her. I put the screws to him a little to get the little bastard to fess up. I'll fill you in on the details but I can't believe anything he's said so far, so how can I believe anything now? It felt good to make him squirm a little. He said they were seperated and she came back even though he didn't think she would. It actually makes sense since the first two weeks were perfect and we got together almost every night and on the weekends...then she comes back and it all fell apart including me. I knew it. Megan

Funny Vines! Ok, so I just got some more dirt. My friend called up where he works and talked to the receptionist and said that he was so helpful and great to work with that she and her husband want to get him a gift certificate so she was wondering if he was married and had kids. The receptionist said yes, he's married and he has kids but didn't know how many. What a smarmy bastard father. Poor wife and kids. Megan

Thank you so much everyone for the kind words. As usual, it doesn't look quite so bad in the morning. I'm so glad it happened after only three weeks than after three months. No matter what the truth may be. I've learned a lot through it all. I still haven't heard from him, so of course silence is almost always guilt. There is a part of me that still wants to make him squirm. Then there is a bigger part of me that wants to shut the door and never look back. I'll keep you posted. But today is my birthday and I'm going to have a "hey it's my birthday and he's F-ing married" party tonight. Wish you guys all lived closer so you could come! Thanks again everyone, you're the best. Megan

I thought of that...and I guess it doesn't matter if it's true or not at this point. I'd so much rather it wasn't true because I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER do this to another woman. The weird thing is that today when we were emailing throught the day- which we always did- he was talking about my birthday tomorrow and where we were going to go for dinner...and how he wanted to go away with me for the weekend sometime soon. Also, he asked me how you cancel your match.com membership. I smell a rat. A big one.

This was one of those books that gave me hope that guys really would like me one day. Then I got some cute clothes and a great attitude and I did just fine. Now that I've had the band...the boys really need to watch out. Well, a certain one right now, anway. I'm an animal! The author really does a good job of getting to the heart of the issues of dating and being overweight. Megan

I think the list is fine. This is a great first poll, Lisa! Good job. M

I wish there was a "are you very satisfied with your band and your surgeon but you have your head up your butt about getting fills in a timely fashion" choice. That would be the true answer for me. M

That is really weird...I had acne before banding, but now since I've been banded I've had very little. Let us know what you find out. Megan

Kelly- I felt sick to my stomach after I ate all the time and started taking Prilosec OTC and it went away. I had the flu and then got really tight and had a little bit of heartburn with sick to my stomach feelings only after I ate...and it wasn't in my little stomach but I could feel it was my big stomach. After a dayof Prilosec, I did not feel the sick to my stomach thing after I ate. Just an idea... Megan

I'm so excited and terrified at the same time! I went out with a guy on Saturday night...and Monday night...and last night. He's called me every day since Saturday...and we email a couple times a day. He asked me out this Saturday- he wants to go to a super nice restaurant and made reservations. As I'm writing this, it sounds so silly that I'm so surprised...but I have dated a whole bunch of players over the last four years or so and this actually feels really weird to have a guy be doing the right things. How do you get over the feeling that you don't deserve it? He makes me laugh, he laughs at my jokes, he kisses like a rock star, and is so cute I just can't stand it. He hasn't even gone up my shirt yet! At my heaviest, I found it easiest to date guys from large people personals. He's the first guy that I've dated in YEARS that I didn't find on one of those sites- he's from Match.com, actually. When I've dated a guy who I know likes big girls...I don't get nervous about getting naked. I tell my friends, "Ah, he knows his way around the back fat pretty well". Well, this guy didn't put that he was looking for a bigger girl in his profile so I'm so nervous but I've discovered that he knows his way around the back fat, too...so it's killing me to know if he's dated other bigger girls. I'm trying so hard to just sit back and not over analyze everything but it's so hard! I haven't told him about the band yet. I'm nervous about that, but he is such a nice, non judgemental guy I think it will be ok. If it isn't, then he's not the guy for me I guess. I have to tell him soon or it will drive me crazy. So..that's my excitement. Any tips on how to not over analyze and just enjoy it all? Megan

You guys are gross. I never look at it and flush as soon as I can. I hate poop. Megan