Dear Sandy,
Was so interested to read at the end of your post that your husband was not supportive and didn't think you would go through with your surgery. My husband was also not supportive, but did accompany me to Mexico when I had it done. (Our insurance would not cover the cost, so I cashed in one of my retirement 401Ks to cover the cost.) Since my surgery, Bill and I have had increasing problems. We are both working hard to try and work them out, but some days it seems to me that I too married the wrong man. However after 42 years of marriage, I am not ready to let go of what we have! And I have to say, I love him so much more today that the day we married! I always tell him "I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow"!
I too get frustrated and sometimes "Blow up" at him. Then a couple of weeks ago, in the midst of one of our fights, Bill told me he was thinking of suicide! REALLY scared me badly! I thought we were making progress, and then wasn't sure we had changed the situation at all.
Currently we are talking with our family physician about it, and Bill is considering going on an antidepressant. I really feel that since I have lost 100 pounds, he feels threatened, that I might want out of our marriage. He is also about 100 pounds overweight, and I think he feels that I want someone who is slim and trim now. (So NOT the case! But how we feel doesn't always make sense or follow logic!)
I wish I had some "wise words" for you. But all I can say is that I will remember you both in my prayers everyday!
I have to say, that in spite of all the fights, problems, words, etc that we have had since my surgery, it is still THE BEST thing I ever did for myself and my health! I wouldn't go back to weighing 258 pounds for anything!!!
Thinking of you and sending you all my best!!!
Kathy D (alias Helen the Cat)
I was okay at the 3rd week post op. But I did not return to work till the beginning of fifth week. My work is not physical at all -- I'm a software engineer. Though I did not feel any pain, I used to get tired in the middle of the day and needed a nap for atleast about 2 hrs. So I just thought why risk it and stayed home the whole one month. If you can, do take atleast 3 weeks off. You'll feel more energetic..
Everyone recovers differently, either due to pain tolerance, complications, desire, or a combination of them. I was full of energy on day 4. Haven't stopped since.
I went back to work after 10 days and was completely off all pain medications. It wasn't the easiest. Driving to the office, I'd find myself trance like. But it was okay and I made sure that I walked when ever possible. I was fearful of getting a blood clot.
12 weeks to recover?? Did she have some complications? Wow that seems unusual to me. I really think about 2 weeks was what I needed. Of course take more if you can!!
Hi hun,
Looking forward to see you on Sat. We can meet up early for coffee before the Dr if you have the time.
I guess we both have to take a decision very soon
Love the photo of Safia. She is a cutie.
See you soon.
Tima
