brave?

Ok... enough of being a sad sack. I got through 1 week of almost carbless living and I didn't die. I used my food journal everyday, which for me is the hardest part. My RD gave me an 8.5x11 piece of paper to track my food and feelings. 1 sheet for each day. No way! Than I moved to a homemade excel masterpiece, double sided, 4 days per sheet. Nope! Now, Ive got a 3x4 Snoopy notebook. re-written it all. not charting feelings, cuz I'm not eating with my feelings. I only eat what I bring and that not very much (to work that is). Now, some of you might say "Ellie, why not use your phone?". To you, I say...I don't have a Smartphone... I have a Dumbphone.

Yay for your victories! and dont call them small!!! You are changing habits formed over years and years and years. This is a big damned deal. I'm so glad you like your nutritionist... i think they are just as important as the surgeons. The surgeon might do the surgery but the nutritionist teaches us how to eat, which for us is how to live. GOOD LUCK AND BE PROUD OF YOUR BIG VICTORIES!!!

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with the carbs. I love Carbs. I really loooooooove Carbs. I knew I was going to have to stop eating carbs and I'm still months out from surgery. I decided that I would have a carb weekend and then go cold turkey. I the first few days were BAD... but then the headaches went away and I feel fine. I'm still not to the point where I'm satisfied when I eat, but I'm not hungry...and I never let myself get too hungry because thats when all carb hell breaks loose. I tell myself carbs are not worth dying for... they don't love me. I want to be able to live... not just exist. good luck!

Well, insurance says you have to wait and that's that. I just finished my first month and I have 5 more to go. After waiting, for what seems like a lifetime, to finally make this choice, I thought "What the hell will 6 more months do? Besides add 10lbs to my rear." Then I decided I'm going to try to use this 6months to work on me. I believe my weight is not just a result of my love for carbs, but a result of whatever happened in my past that made me believe that food was the only thing that could fix me. I wanted so badly not to have a waiting period and things to move with lightening speed, but thinking about it, i really need that time. And the more I talk about me, the more I wanna curl up in a ball and hide in my closet. i cant believed that my life has turned this way. uggghhh. I'm going to bed.

"We don't do hand-holding" said the voice on the other side of the phone. Tough-love is not my thing. I have been tough-loved and tough-loved myself into this mess... ...or at least tough-love is what they called it. Why can't it just be love? What's wrong with hand holding? If someone held my hand maybe I could learn that hands aren't just for eating with. I know I should have faith in myself, inner strength and all that jazz... but why should I always do everything by myself. Why can't I reach out and ask for support and encouragement. I know I can do this. I can physically stop eating. I can get myself to the doctor. to the hospital. onto the OR table...... ... but what's so wrong with asking someone to hold my hand?