brave?

Well, insurance says you have to wait and that's that.
I just finished my first month and I have 5 more to go. After waiting, for what seems like a lifetime, to finally make this choice, I thought "What the hell will 6 more months do? Besides add 10lbs to my rear." Then I decided I'm going to try to use this 6months to work on me.
I believe my weight is not just a result of my love for carbs, but a result of whatever happened in my past that made me believe that food was the only thing that could fix me.
I wanted so badly not to have a waiting period and things to move with lightening speed, but thinking about it, i really need that time.
And the more I talk about me, the more I wanna curl up in a ball and hide in my closet. i cant believed that my life has turned this way. uggghhh. I'm going to bed.