CowgirlJane

Swizzly are you feeling better? Last you posted you were in a dark place. Had an awesome date last night. I think he wanted to see me again tonight but he didn't ask directly and I decided I am better off not diving in too fast so doing something else. Also i don't know how to play stupid dating games but I hear you don't wanna be too available. .make em work for your attention a bit at the beginning. I hate that crap but apparently there is a rule book I never read..m

Your reply is interesting because the longer I am in maintenance the more I think about trying to change to living the life I want. Obesity was the "elephant in the room" and now that's in control I am peeling away alot of other layers I want to change. I at times have a twinge of regret I am so old but mostly I am grateful that I have this chance.

T he problem for me is not the calories in those little choices it's that eating that way makes me hungry! It's a carb craving cycle. If I eat clean my hunger is quite manageable but when on the carb crazy train I want to eat alot more often than normal.

Well date was fun! dinner and talk then dancing. I wound up in skinny jeans because I just decided that it fit the setting better and rain was forecast ,(though it was dry) and we planned to walk from place to place. We didn't like the band at the blues place so mostly were at a dive bar that had a heavy metal cover band..loud! I was better dressed than 98 percent even in my jeans so it was a good call. We hit it off but I realized that part of it is that he reminds me of someone I still carry a little flame for. Anyway, good start! I am in the mindset to not "miss" opportunities if someone appeals to me and is expressing interest. That was the big deal for me - how to meet people more "organically" and have it actually lead to a date or social event. I am pleased how this turned out so I feel like that is the better path for me over online dating.

RJ, i am sorry you are going through this misery. I have a bad memory, so I don't recall why you are having such physical discomfort 2 years post op. Physical discomfort is such a hard thing to live with - i still have alot of body pain but it was much worse when i was obese. I feel so blessed that I haven't really had any serious problems ... or minor ones frankly. Here is what I will say. Even if we KNOW that losing weight wont make us happy, there is still an emotional journey. I KNEW my life would still be same ole, but what i didn't really think about was that I would have to deal with same ole without my food and obesity to "numb me". It was a rude awakening... I am almost 3 years post op and feel like I am finally... becoming more "settled". I have been happy, since i feel so much better, but that emotional noise has quieted so much. Here is the dirty little secret. Looking good/better is wonderful, but it doesn't make you happy. The unhappiest woman I ever met was a bombshell, with a charming personality.... think Marilyn Monroe... I think when you have always been obese you fantasize about some sort of "better place". It is partially true - I am happier because I live a better, more active life; but ... I still have to get up everyday and put one foot in front of the other...

I have been wondering about laura ven. Did she just decide she was wasting too much time on the internet? I always thought she'd come back. I am a wee nervous about my date tomorrow.

I think it would be so fun, but as a single woman... I feel kinda silly or odd about it. I mean, i don't really have an audience for them.

I met this guy 2 weeks ago in a strip mall/grocery store parking lot. He had his boat on a trailer... I had my horse IN a trailer. I was wearing jeans, boots, and had helmet hair after my ride. He was in shorts and a t shirt. We have talked alot since, but haven't met up since. I really want to show off my girly girl side, but, the little town we are going to - the dance places range from a fun saloon down to a biker bar..ha. I loved all your comments, still thinking... So, I am not getting hopes up but I admit I am really interested in this guy. A little part of me thinks it doesn't matter if i am dressed way wrong for the setting, I wanna get his attention and show off the womanly side of me.

Well, I am over 2 weeks off my meds (nearly 3 I think) and doing pretty well. I had a few occasions of feeling a little off, but coped with it and quickly it passed. I still feel like i am overeating, but i weighed 146 this morning... so hanging out at approx same weight... even though i would rather weigh 140..haha! My tummy feels big..lol... but my jeans fit fine. i use no stretch jeans and a scale as my "measure" but my tummy still feels poochie. I have been having problems with bacterial vaginosis that seems hard to get rid of. It isn't horrible, but annoying. not currently in a sexual relationship (darn it!) so no big impact but i sure wish i could cure it. Back to having probiotics, using boric acid inserts etc. Work is really stressful right now.

No More prone to diarrea now - but not chronic.

i don't wear low cut tops... and all my skirts are just a couple of inches about the knee... any longer and I look frumpy, any shorter and it looks like i am trying to dress like a teen. My favorite "going out dress" has a very fitted bodice but is actually high necked and sleeveless. It shows off your figure, in a fairly "covered up" way. The main thing is I feel like it is the "trying to hard" thing... Personally, I think we should dress up and look fabulous all the time..haha!

There are negative sides of WLS, but at somepoint, saving your life becomes more important. i don't have chronic diarea, but i am more prone to it than I used to be. Does not interfere with life though. I do take Vitamins. I have been maintaining a massive weight loss since Feb 2013 and continue to have to "work at it" or i will regain. I think you would be better served with a doc with amore "balanced view" of pros and cons.

I love wearing dresses, i find them comfy, easy to wear etc. I often wear them when i go into the office. I can wear heels and my calves are toned so look not bad for a middle aged lady! I generally wear skinny jeans and a "top" when i go out because that seems like a more normal, typical way of dressing at least where i live. Recently read dating advice that women should wear a dress on early dates, look feminine, show off legs etc. It is all part of that initial visual attraction. Not so much to look crazy sexy, but rather to emphasize the feminine and so forth. I am very curious other's perspective and experience on this. i have a "going dancing" date on Friday night and i would love to wear a dress, but was planning on my jeans since that just seems more "appropriate" - like a dress seems like its trying to hard or something. thoughts? Maybe I am kind of interested in this guy that i am thinking about it!

Hi Dorrie, for me the main thing is accountability and not letting a small blip turn into a big regain. Normal people battle with a few pounds they just don't let it turn into a few hundred! You are in good company... you know what to do...go back to basics, water, protein,veggies...eat clean, stay active.

I pretty much avoided alcohol during weight loss phase but had some red wine at a celebration about 4 months out....burned! Now I am almost 3 years out. If I drink on an empty stomach it hits me hard. It's like the booze goes directly into the boodstream! I don't recall being so sensitive when banded. The sleeve creates metabolic change. If I eat first I can have 1-2drinks with no issue. Just be careful with it.

Lisa I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am not sure if you are in grief counseling but my feeling is that working through emotional pain while you await the revision would help. I am sure you know this but coffee is terrible for you when you are having esophagus issues. You are using/abusing it instead of eating properly. Last spring I went through an emotional downturn and couldn't eat comfortably. I was scared I had a sleeve "issue" but what happened was that I stopped eating, lost my appetite, felt horrible from poor eating, felt too ill to eat..and of course felt even worse from too little food/too low carbs. . Well, as soon as I started addressing the emotional issue and then eating food like a prescription I felt alot better. Over time both my mental and physical health improved and I felt good again. My appetite came back! I know this doesn't fix the GERD etc. But maybe you can start feeling better in the meantime by cutting the coffee and eating clean healthy food. I have suffered painful losses too and haven't been the best at taking care of myself. I bet our departed loved ones would want us to though. I wonder if you would get more responses on the revision in the bypass forums?

Ha... I had to do hand to hand combat with each of the last say 30-40 pounds so it wasn't really relevant for me! I have heard that people start adding back more calorie dense food like nuts or increase carbs etc. For most of us, maintance is an ongoing topic of vigiliance to keep from regaining, not having a problem with losing too much. What I will say is that undereating, just like overeating, is a self fullfilling "habit". If you chronically undereat your hunger seems to reduce and people get in that "cycle". That happened to me for a bit due to a life event situation and I really learned that appetite is a complex thing. I would often not feel good, and not eat, but the reason i didn't feel good was because I wasn't eating enough... The solution was to make myself eat like a prescription and sure enough, over time my appetite ROARED back..haha!

a magical land....

I thought this post asked a good question of veterans... suggesting some of you might want to post to it because I think this little group has alot of insights about the long haul... http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/321715-long-termers/

It took me 14 months to lose 150. I had to work pretty hard to get the last 30-40 pounds off... went low carb and did high intensity interval training. You don't have to give up and stop here...but it does sometimes take a refocus to get to goal!

I created a private group for women to discuss dating etc...had membere and all but most could not work out the navigation. I finally wound up cancelling it.

Guilt sucks....don't go there!!!

I may not be grasping your question.. So apologies.. But why are you interested in fried chicken and Cookies? There are so many wonderful foods out there that support good health! I no longer believe in calorie math... I focus on healthy food and active lifestyle. Moderate to low carbs, maintainingng 160# loss so far... I worked with an amazing team...and one tidbit is to not trust your sensations until 6-8 weeks post op. Nerves are cut..you Don't really feel everything yet.

Oh, and eating low carb is my big "secret" to success. I guess everybody knows this works, but I could not really do it prior to my sleeve.

Tough set of questions. What I will say is that restriction of band vs sleeve is very different. I failed miserably with the band, so clearly that was not my kind of restriction. I am maintaining 160# weight loss with the sleeve. My personal experience with the band is that the restriction was inconsistent, but often very "tight". Like I would vomit alot if I had any fill in the band. I could not tolerate most dense Proteins or veggies... and I didn't have proper support and education so slid into slider habits.. it was NOT good. I never found a comfortable rythem of eating with the band, but I did with the sleeve. Sleeve, after the initial healing period I could eat more, can tolerate all sorts of foods that I could not banded. It is like, it gave me more choices and freedom which i could see why for some people it made it harder. For me though, I was able to really focus on dense Protein and veggies which i never could with the band. I think you should pick a couple of TOP surgeons in your area to discuss options. The DS was always my "last resort, back up plan" which luckily I haven't needed. Please please please do your research. That is a bad a$$ procedure with amazing results and a high risk profile. go to dsfacts. com and educate yourself. Those dedicated ladies maintain a list of surgeons who are truly skilled... this is not childs play! i had plastic surgery a year ago. During my consults, one very very experienced surgeon told me that his most difficult cases were DS patients as they might have more nutritional issues. You really need to be dedicated to supplements etc to be truly healthy post DS.