Caribear

:.( She will definitely be missed here. I will be praying for comfort for her family. <3

The story you are about to read may be hard to believe. It is the kind of story that would occasionally make it into my email inbox, and I would scan it briefly before clicking delete and muttering about how this kind of junk gets past my spam filter. If it hadn't happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. But it did happen to me, and I pray that you read this and consider what it says. A few weeks ago, I was watching my favorite Christian television station. The show was a talk show-type discussion about hormones. I almost changed the channel, but something (Someone) made me stop and listen. The woman on the show was named Dr. Barbara Hoffman, and she was talking about her line of bio-identical progesterone creams. They discussed how progesterone balanced estrogen, and how it was very important to choose bio-identical over synthetic. Synthetic progesterone can do all kinds of awful things in the body, because the body just doesn't always know what to deal with it. This includes birth control pills and shots. I began to think back over the past few years, about how my health began a downward spiral after I had my son. Then it occurred to me that it was after I had him that I started on the depo-provera shot. I started to research progesterone, and came across all kinds of literature that talked about how progesterone deficiency can cause all kinds of problems, including some that were hauntingly familiar: fatigue, weight gain, mental fuzziness, painful periods, cravings for carbs and sweets, and body pain, to name a few. And on other pages, I read that depo-provera will cause the body to stop producing its own progesterone, since it is a synthetic form of the hormone and causes the body to think it has enough. After about a week of research, I decided to go ahead and order the cream that I had seen on tv (Better Heath Naturally ProHelp Moisture Treatment Cream). I figured that I would try it out, and if it made me feel bad I would stop, but hopefully it would help me with some of my fibromyalgia symptoms. When the cream arrived, I went ahead and put it on as per the directions on the container. That day, I didn't feel any different. The next day, I used the cream again, once in the morning, once in the evening, as the directions suggest. I thought I could notice a little bit of a difference, but brushed it off as being psychological. The third day, I woke up, went downstairs, and started making breakfast for my son before I realized that my body didn't hurt. At all. I went through the day without saying anything, because I again thought this must be a psychological thing, or I was just having a good day, or something like that. But my boyfriend noticed that I was much happier and seemed to be in less pain than normal. And after a few days, I had to say something. I had almost no pain. I was able to play with my son for the first time without hurting. I had tons of energy, and I just felt good. It just felt so good to feel good again. Then I noticed that I was starting to go longer between meals without being so hungry. While before I was counting the minutes until the next meal, now I could go for hours past "meal time" and not even notice. But what really got me was when I passed up chocolate. My son brought home some Easter candy, and was trying to feed it to me, but it just didn't sound appetizing. When it hit me that I had just passed up chocolate, I had to run and tell everybody I knew about this stuff. I have gone about a week now with no cravings at all. When I eat, I actually feel full before I am done, and it has helped me cut down on some of the high-processed carbs that are so bad for me. I sleep better at night, even though I have stopped taking my sleeping medication. Plus, I am cutting down on the meds that were previously keeping the pain in check, and am still feeling great. I feel happier, and my son loves being able to play with me without being afraid of hurting me. The scale has been going down steadily, but I have noticed that my body seems to be changing a lot more than it was. However, I'm confident that it will start going quicker soon, since I am more active and eating less. I know that no single thing is a "magic bullet" for everyone, but I just had to tell you all about how this cream has helped me. I am including a link below to the site where I bought it, and also the site of the manufacturer where you can read a little more about it. If you are considering trying this, please do some research first. Some women do fantastic on this stuff, but some don't. But if you are one of the ones that are helped by it, then it is so worth it. http://shop.daystar.com/ http://www.bhnformulas.com/

Oh my goodness, Ky, I am so sorry. I'm sending you hugs and prayers. I can't tell you that I know how you feel, because I haven't been through the things you have. But I have been through some pretty serious traumas, and have struggled with PTSD from them as well, and I can tell you that the only thing you can do in those dark moments is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I've been at the point where everything seemed so overwhelming that I couldn't see myself getting through it, but I just had to keep reminding myself that the sun will rise tomorrow morning, the world will keep turning, and life will go on whether I chose to participate in it or not. I had to keep doing the things I knew were good for me, even if I felt too numb to care. And now on the other side I see how all of that has molded me into a person that I like a lot better than I liked the pre-trauma me. I also have chronic pain, and I can tell you that you eventually get used to it, as miserable as that sounds. You have to be forgiving of yourself while you find your new normal. I know things can get overwhelming, but I also know that you can do this. Sending you love and hugs and prayers <3

I'd call your insurance company and see what they have to say. It might just be a mix-up. And I'd call the anesthesiology office too to see what they say. I can't imagine that your insurance would pay for the procedure but not the anesthesia.

I don't have it, nor do I know anyone with it, but I think this would be best discussed with a surgeon. It may not be an issue because lap-band is much less invasive than many other surgeries, but this would definitely be something that your surgeon would have to determine.

I agree with the others, I didn't want to be cut up and rearranged so much that it was non-reversable. I have heard from several others with BMI over 50 that their surgeons were pushing either RNY or BPD/DS. My surgeon has suggested this to me as well, and his reason was that RNY and BPD have higher average success rates. But for me, the numbers aren't different enough for me to agree to be chopped up and stitched back together. No thank you. Your informational seminar should help you decide, but let me say this - don't let anybody pressure you into doing a procedure you're not comfortable doing. Average numbers are just that, the average. It doesn't mean that you can't do better or worse. It's all up to you, really.

I'm so happy for you! Doesn't it feel so great when all your hard work pays off? Go you is right!

Hi Lisa, I haven't been banded yet, but I think it's normal to go through this. It's a major life change. For a lot of us, I think we get sad because we have an unhealthy relationship with food, and the surgery means we have to change it. I have heard several bandsters comparing it to a "break-up" with food. It's always been there, it's always been a comfort to them, but it was not a healthy relationship, so they had to end it. Another thing, especially if you've had a long road to get here, is that depression that comes with the accomplishment of a goal. It happens to a lot of college students after they graduate. You spend so much time working towards this goal, and once it gets here, there's a sense of loss because you've become so used to the "working towards" part. You may have some depression and "what have I done" feelings right afterwards, too, just so you know. But I know you can do this.

I'm from north of Dayton here, not banded yet but hopefully will be in the fall. Nice to meet you!

I'm sorry yesterday was such a rough day for you. I sympathize about the migraines, they just throw everything out of kilter. I am glad you are feeling better today though. I had a rough food day the other day too, so I'm feeling your pain there as well. But yay for the nsv, and double yay for realizing that all you have to do is take a deep breath and keep going forward. I know you can do this!

Hi Tamara, nice to meet you!

I know how you feel about the sugar. I looked for an alternative for a long time, but I can't stand the artificial sweeteners, and I just don't like stevia. But recently I started using coconut sugar, or palm sugar. It doesn't have any fewer calories, but it is supposed to be low-glycemic and keep your blood sugar stable. And I really can tell a big difference. Plus, I think it tastes really yummy! Kind of a nutty, maple-y, brown sugar kind of taste, but not coconut-y. If you are looking for an alternative, you may want to try it. In any case, I wish you the best on your fast. I know how rough it can be, and I'll be praying for a quick and painless detox for you.

You can do this, Kathy! That, I think, is the beauty of the lapband - you can always start over.

We all have different triggers that cause us to overeat. For some people, it's celebrations. For others, it's stress. Or boredom. But for me it is depression, and everything that entails. I would regularly just get into a "funk" where I had super negative thoughts. I got very depressed, and sometimes really angry. I would pout and feel bad about myself, and bad for myself, and eventually end up deciding that nobody cared. And if nobody else cared, I didn't care either. And inevitably, this would end up with me binging on whatever I could eat in the highest volume. The more, the better. That little voice was telling me that I wasn't good enough, and I was trying to shut it up with food. A few years ago, I started to realize that this is what I was doing. I worked with my therapist to try to stop the behavior, because I knew in my head that it was bad for me. But when I would get in that mood, I would get to the point where I just didn't care. My emotions would override my sensibilities every time. And then I suddenly got a revelation. I realized two things - one, that just because my stomach felt a certain way didn't mean that I was hungry; and two, that even if I was hungry, that was ok. It was like someone flipped on the light switch and suddenly I could see clearly. It's not that these ideas were new - in fact, I had been talking about them with my therapist for a year and a half. I honestly can't tell you what it was that did it, but it just suddenly made sense. It went from being words to being real. And I was able to stop binging almost completely. Almost. Yesterday, for whatever reason, that all-too-familiar funk came back. I don't know why. It started out a pretty good day, but as time went on, that little negative voice started getting louder and louder. And before I knew it, I was brooding and thinking about how nobody cared about me. I tried getting myself out of it, but I just couldn't make that voice shut up no matter how hard I tried. And so shortly after my son went to bed, I baked and consumed an entire roll of flaky butter biscuits. With jam. Not all at one sitting, but over the course of several hours. It was as if I couldn't stop myself. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, and I winced at the idea that I would have to write this in my food journal. I imagined the disappointed look on my nutritionist's face when she found out. And I felt awful about that as I licked the jam off my fingertips. It is just amazing to me that such things can happen to a person. How in my head I can know something is the wrong thing to do, yet somehow my emotions put me on auto-pilot and I end up doing it almost against my will. Let me say for the record that I am not crazy, so far as I know. And I am not schizophrenic or bipolar. But every once in a while, my emotions just hijack my body in such a way that I could never explain to someone who had never experienced it. Today I have huge, painfully swollen feet because those biscuits had something like 500 mg of sodium each, and there were eight of them, so that puts me up to 4000 mg just from the biscuits. And because of this, I have vowed that I will not buy those biscuits again. But on the positive side, I do finally realize that this is not the end of the game. All I have to do is clean up the mess and keep moving.

Hi all, long time no blog. Sorry it's been so long, things have been super busy and drama-filled here at home. My boyfriend and his dad have been renovating the business they just bought, so he's been gone all day, every day since the beginning of this month. Then he comes home and works on the computer until I don't know when. He's been under so much stress that it's starting to become a problem for all of us. They've been working frantically to try and open by this weekend, St. Patrick's Day. But unfortunately, today he found out that the previous owners pulled some not-so-funny business with the liquor license, so now that plan has to be scrapped. I've been pretty good food-wise, though, despite all the stress and chaos. I will fully admit that I have had several episodes of stress-induced sugar indulgence, but nothing that has been so bad that it's affected my weight. Thank the Lord. But that brings me to the confounding question. The question that I've been asked about a half-dozen times this month. Every time someone finds out that I'm losing weight, they smile and say "Great, now you don't have to worry about having surgery, right?" It would be frustrating enough to hear that from anyone, but especially so because I've heard it from my mom, my nutritionist, and even my family doctor. And it makes it even more hard for me to get excited about losing this weight. I already have that little negative voice in the back of my head saying "So what, you've done this before! You've lost more than this before, and look what happened! You gained it all back and then some! So you might as well give up now because you're going to fail anyway. Why suffer any longer, just go to the store and buy yourself a bag of Reese's cups and forget about this nonsense!" I guess this question bothers me so much for two reasons. The first reason is that I feel it's too early to decide that I can do it myself this time. My gosh, it's only been 22 pounds. Let's not jump to conclusions. And secondly, if anyone is going to decide that I can do this myself, it should be me! I don't want to be pressured out of surgery just because I've lost 22 pounds! I've got six more months to make up my mind, and then I will decide. Not before then, and not because somebody else thinks I should or shouldn't. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on the positive. I'm working on my food issues, my eating habits, and my emotional relationship with food. And it's hard to believe it, but it's getting easier to ignore that little negative voice. I don't think it'll ever go away, but it is getting quieter, and for that I am incredibly thankful.