Army's girl

I don't know where to start so I apologize in advance if my story is not that easy to follow.

I am a French guy of 42 years old living in Spain (Barcelona) and I have been fighting with overweight my entire life.

I am currently at 280 but went up to 350 several years ago (for 5 ft 11).

I have been told my entire childhood to finish my plate, so no waste (and also the dish, so no left over, right?).

I am also an epicurean and enjoy food, cooking, craft beers (favorite one is from a US microbrewery) and of course wine.

I have been playing rugby for over 15 years so the overweight damage was under control and I also built up some muscles under my layer of fat.

I have been trying all kind of diets, the latest one was called Dukan diet (basically an "all you can eat protein" one) that showed up pretty effective (went down to 220 in a year) but did not help me with my eating disorder....

I thought I was arrived to a decent level and all the cravings I had were not bearable anymore, so back to 280..

I am a big eater. I have always been a big eater. I don't snack, don't have a sweet tooth, but I can eat a full T-Bone and still feel hungry.

I reach a point I can't get me food sick anymore and it drives me crazy to see I can't control it.

I still do sports (cardio and weight lifting) so I consider myself in a decent shape for a big guy like me.

I need a physical barrier to keep the wolf inside of me. On top of eating a lot, I also eat fast. All the don't dos.

I have been reading everything and anything about bariatric surgery. the book from Andy Butler was an eye opener.

I believe that VSG is right for me. I found my surgeon, and I was scheduled for March 22. I even started to post on that.

Then my life took an unexpected and dramatic turn on March 7. Our baby boy of 21 months passed away, My heart is broken since then.but for some reason my decision on the VSG is stronger than never.

I was also diagnosed with pneumonia (bacterial) on March 11 and today I went for another set of X-Ray after a week of heavy antibiotics. I am recovering very well, even if I still cough. I have been doing all of my prep op tests and everything looks good for my surgeon.

It seems I am a go for March 22, but still need to be confirmed on next Monday.

I want to be done with my life as it is today. I want to stop feeling tired in the morning. I believe I have sleep apnea even I never tested for it.

I want to be more active than I am now for my 6 year old daughter. I want to go jogging with colleagues, I want to feel comfortable on a bike. Aisle seats on plane should not be an obsession.I don't want to become a customer of my company that sells products for diabetic people. I want a new me. A new image. Healthier, stronger, dynamic and different.

Obviously I lost my appetite for a couple of weeks now. I am suffering everyday and I don't see how I will be able to ever fix my broken heart.

At the same time, I have the impression I also need to recenter my attention on myself, be a bit selfish and get ready for that incredible challenge that VSG is.

My wife is worried but supportive, my sister thinks I am crazy and my best buddy tried to convince not to do it. I did not tell anybody else and won't. I am sharing here because I believe it is the right place and the people that are making this community are an inspiration.

Everybody has a different story but the common point I noticed while reading is that there is a lot of respect in the comments and no judging.

Please don't mention condolences or that you are sorry for my loss if you post on this. I assume you are if you have a bit of compassion. This is not the goal of my message. I am looking for tips, experience, real life feedback.

I know I am on an emotional roller coaster and that what is coming will be huge, but at the same time, I am convinced I need this.

Thanks.

Mico

I think your passion & desire for change is 90% of the fight. The other percent is the physical & physiological which I'm sure you will conquer. Keep in mind that food is often used to comfort us when our emotions aren't managed. I strongly believe everyone should have a psychologist just to vent with & say your deepest thoughts & feelings without worrying about repercussions or hurting anyone's feelings. I do this now as my upbringing & life experience is similar to yours presently. Positive thoughts lead to positive feelings with positive outcomes.

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You're describing a situation that has many variations and isn't uncommon around here. What you left out is whether he has been taking Cookies to bed and bringing home two-by-two Snacks only since your surgery. If that's the case, he's absolutely sending a message. You might want to ask him to put it into words so that you know what's going on in your marriage. Often the underminer fears losing the spouse once he/she seems to have better options. That's just one of the usual possibilities. If he claims to being nothing more than funny, you can remind him that nothing is funny after the 28th time.

If he was in the junk-food-for-two habit before you ever thought of surgery, nothing has changed. You can sweetly ask him not to munch in your face until you have a good handle on your new way of eating, but it's tough to make it a demand. The general rule of the real world is that the one who makes the change or is the minority is the one who has to adjust to everyone else's carrying on as usual.

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So this morning I woke up at around 1:30am in such agony that I was having difficulty breathing or speaking. One of my incisions was red, swollen, hot to the touch, and extremely painful. I also had a significant amount of pain deeper underneath the incision. I called the hospital to speak with the on call doctor, who just happened to be my surgeon. My surgeon assured me that it was highly unlikely to be infected, but that I could go to the ER if I needed help managing my pain.

I really hate the ER, so I wasn't going to go just for pain management. But I was unconvinced that there was no infection. So I took pictures and sent them to my mother and my mother in law, both of whom are RNs. Both immediately confirmed my suspicions that I did indeed have an infection.

My husband helped me to the car because I couldn't walk on my own. We waited in that waiting room for over 3 hours, during which time all of my pain meds wore off. About halfway through that 3 hours I was sobbing in pain, while I watched patient after patient get taken back before me, even ones who were obviously not that sick and/or got there long after I did. I finally had enough and hobbled over to the desk to ask how long the wait was. The nurse was initially extremely rude and essentially told me to suck it up and wait. In response I demanded to know why stomach virus patients were being given precedence over a God d@mned surgical infection. I then reminded her that I had been waiting for over 3 hours, far longer than any other person in that waiting room, because she literally keeps taking back anyone and everyone except me. That took her aback a bit, and magically I had a room, a bed, and an IV within the next 5 minutes.

I wound up having to do a CT scan, which involved drinking way more contrast that my sleeve could comfortably tolerate, so that they could rule out a leak or abscess to explain why I was in such intense excruciating pain.

This next part is humiliating and may be tmi, fair warning.

They asked me for a urine sample. By this point I was pretty dehydrated having been separated from a source of fluids for so long (this was right before the IV). I didn't think I'd have much to give them, but I said I would try. I got to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat down .... and immediately passed the most gas I have ever done in my life. It was shocking, and it lasted a good 20 seconds, I do NOT exaggerate. I could actually feel my intestines deflating and the difference in how my stomach looked after was very noticeable.

Now, as you may have guessed already, that was the true source of most of my pain. I was too embarrassed to admit that to the doctor though. And one of my incisions really was infected, so that did also contribute to the pain. I include this in my story here because as embarrassing as it is, any newly sleeved person reading this, if they are having overwhelming deep pain that comes in waves, they now know that they can try passing gas and it may help. Learn from my embarrassment.

I am now back at home with my antibiotics, my fluids, and a 1/3 cup of blended cream of mushroom Soup. My pain is back under control, and I'm a happy camper.

Sent from armysgirl

Thanks for sharing. You made me laugh but reminded me of a patient I had (I'm a surgical nurse) who refused to tell us she hadn't had a bowel movement or passed gas because she was a southern bell & ladies just don't speak of such things lol. Mind we are in Miami, Florida where we tell it ALL lol. Well long story short, we had to take her into surgery to do an exploratory laparotomy (cut you open from under your Breast bone to above your bladder) thinking she had a bowel obstruction or twisted. Ofcourse we found her bowels super enlarged due to gas smh. She is ok now but went through a lot. Thanks again, keep up the good job. Great post.

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Great idea..... does everyone's doctor do that for their patients??

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Hello to everyone & happy New Years. I'm wondering if everyone that has Aetna insurance has to go through 4 months of nutrition, gym 3x a week, psych clearance, & upper GI before even getting a surgery date?

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Lunabugg20 don't beat yourself up, that leads to guilty feelings which may lead to binging & gaining weight is a reason to cancel surgery because it shows no change in eating habit. People probably don't realize that if we don't change our eating habits (type of food) we can & WILL gain weight even after surgery. But anyway, if it was one time I wouldn't worry but I wouldn't disclose it either

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Thank you all for your kind words. I'm excited for a new beginning, but nervous for the surgery. I think it has to do with those that support it and family members that do not.

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You won't be able to please everyone all the time, just do you. Some people think Bariatric surgery is the "easy way out" & that all we have to do is diet & exercise not understanding it's not that simple for some. So say your prayers to whatever or whomever you believe in & step forward to a new healthier happier you! They will come around when they see the change in your demeanor.

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As a scrub nurse that assists in surgeries I can tell you to think positive & know all will Be well. Best wishes, I wish it were me.

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Wow thats awesome! I wish I didn't have to wait 3-6 months.

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Vyvanse is an amphetamine & used for treatment of ADHD not for dirty to check(but the anxiety eating is gonna be the thing to focus on. I'm so sorry I know this sucks but you can do this.

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Yes the LAPBAND CAN easily slip. I had a similar situation & started waking up in the middle of the choking on this "phlegm" or so I thought. Turns out the band had slipped, the port eroded I aspirated & almost died!!

To be safe please tell you provider asap so he can evaluate your band. Good luck

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I was banded on 11/2011, currently have 5.5cc in my band & have had restriction the last 4-5 months. I've lost 55lbs & really happy about that. However, I have really bad reflux & can't lay down flat. Should I take some Fluid out or should I be worried that it slipped????

I've heard drinking causes the LAPBAND to erode does anyone know if this is true or just a myth? If its true, where can I find factual information about this? I tend to sometimes choke in the middle of the night if I lay flat & in the morning sometimes I wake up with a liquid that comes up & it has a bad after taste. Anyone else have any of these issues? If so, what do I do to remedy any or all of them.

I am not one to post to forums. I am a lurker and I admit it.

Having said that' date=' I have finally brought myself to share my experiences so that, perhaps, someone out there will come forward and commiserate.

I had my surgery in 2007. I was 280 lbs. at that time and chose the surgery because I had already tried every fad diet imaginable and, like many of you, was tired of beating myself up over a very low self image.

I chose Dr. Alan Geiss at the Syosset Medical center.

He put the smallest possible band in my stomache and never even discussed that aspect of my surgery with me.

After 2 years I was down to 180 lbs. and my life had changed completely. By 2009 I was in great shape and the band was doing its part to keep my bad habits at bay, while I did the rest of the work with excersize and reasonable choices.

Then came 2010.

I started noticing that I was able to eat more of the wrong foods and got worried so I went for a fill...and then another...and then another. I found that each time I got a fill it would help and work for 3-4 weeks but after that I could start eating more once again. I started gaining weight at a rapid pace and then, in 2011, I was informed that my small band was already at maximum capacity and that no more could be done for me. I was checked with a colonoscopy and barium swallum/x-ray and it was determined that the band was securely in place.

I met with Dr. Geiss and told him how disappointed I was. I was now back to 230 lbs. and was trending back upwards at a rapid pace. I could eat nearly the same volume and types of food that I consumed before ever having surgery. He said that "Lap Banding is not a solution for everyone and that I should go see a psychiatrist to get my head in the right place".

Really? Would any of you agree? If it were only a mental impediment and a good "talk" was the proper solution - would any of us have a band in our body right now? Hands up?

I told the doctor that I thought this was bad advice and that I chose the lap band to work for me as a tool. A daily physical reminder to make better choices and an deterrent to volume eating. I can now eat a full cheeseburger and fries without stopping once for breath. Should I be able to do that?

The next week I received a letter from him that he was dropping me as a patient because he was no longer taking my type of medical insurance.

Very convenient.

I decided to give it one more shot. Surely it was just this particular doctor that was in the way of me getting back on the right track. I had all my files transferred to a local doctor at Mather Hospital named Dr. Arif Ahmad. This well known surgeon met with me just a few weeks ago and I left his office having had one of the worst experiences of my entire life.

He met with me for 10 minutes. Asked me questions about what I am able to swallow. I told him exactly what I told all of you. He said that the band is not always an answer and that it only worked in about 10% of the cases on a long term basis. He said that sleeving or bypass were better alternatives but he would not consider these options on someone who was already banded by another surgeon. I told him that my surgeon dropped me and he said "well I can refer you to another doctor but I don't want you since your insurance has too high a deductible limit". Now, I have no idea what that means, mind you. I have Blue Cross/Blue Shield PPO and I think it is pretty good. He explained very clearly that he did not want me as a patient because he could not make any money on me. He said this right in front of the nurse practitioner in the office and I saw her look away and roll her eyes in disgust at his comment.

I walked out of the office, now at 265 lbs, and decided that my life was pretty worthless.

This is only one man's story but I find it particularly odd that there are so few "long term" success stories posted anywhere. This lap band was the biggest decision I ever made and the failure of it, combined with the overt greed by the doctors in my life, have led me to a bitter and cynical place. Perhaps I am better off. I no longer believe that there are easy solutions to anything. Life is hard and full of Herculean challenges. The only way to take them on is straight through them...never around them. I hope that someone out there is reading this and can learn from my mistake. Otherwise I will have wasted more than just the last 5 years in this fruitless endeavor.

-Russ[/quote']

Wow Russ I am so sorry you've experienced all that negativity. There's nothing either one of us can do about physicians who behave poorly but there is something U can do & that something is NEVER give up or relinquish your right to treatment. You just have to keep looking for another surgeon & u'll find it. Have faith during this amazing journey & remember YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

I don't tell people because I don't fee like dewing with the judgements or comments that comes with it specially because my BMI was low (38). There's a mentality that people that have weightless surgery are cheaters and take the easy way out. If only they knew how hard it really is but since there's so much ignorance I prefer to leave the educating to others. I guess it really depends on the person asking and the person telling. I don't have much tolerance or patience for stupidity and knowing my temper and character it's just better I keep my business to myself lol.

There's nothing wrong with WLS and I'm definitely not ashamed of it it's just best for me to keep my journey amongst my closest more trustworthy friends and family members. Whatever you chose to do, tell or not tell, is your provacative, there's no right or wrong answer just YOUR answer!! I've your life the best way you see fit.

EVERYONE is entitled to feel however they feel about themselves & they can chose to describe themselves as cows weighing 199 standing 5'4!!! I mean geez who the heck is anyone to tell other people how to feel or how much they should or shouldn't weight or when they should or shouldn't get the band or ANY other typpe of surgery??!!

I'm 5'3 and my weight was 180 when I decided to regain control of my health, my body & my life!!! Now I'm weighing 157 & I still have 35lbs to go to get to my goal weight. Do I care that someone bigger is mad because I CHOSE to not let myself get outta control b4 doing something about it? NOPE cuz no one here pays my bills or has top live inside MY body but me. So to all those low BMI people that got banded, doodles to you all!! I commend you for getting a jump start!

If ur "friends" act distant & isoated, blow it off or away lol.... Do you!!

Unfortunately the reason surgeons here in the USA don't want to touch patients banded in Mexico is because off the liability. Once they take you as a patient & do a "simple fill" not knowing how the original surgeon implanted the band, if it's sewed in or not, where the catheter is placed or port is facing, he is responsible for ANY damage done to your entire band therefore liable for the costs to replace it. No primary physician unless a bariatric one is really willing to do fills or touch the band.

I figured some people needed to know this before continuing acting so Darmstadt astonished & surprised lol.

Erosion & band slippage DO NOT occur or have anything to do with fills. Just thought I'd correct this in case someone else read this & believed it.

Lynnette,

If you are a medical professional like myself, you can do your own fills but the preferred method is having another medical professional do it for you. Theres no reason for al the slander you are getting from everyone & actually I find it extremely immature. We are all adults on this site & if we don't agree with what you are doing then no one needs to reply, I mean really people???!!!

After all you are going to do what you want to do anyway. Having said that, please please please make sure you re-sterilize that needle each & every time you use it. You can boil the needle for a good 5 mins then let it air dry on a clean surface(wiped with alcohol is good NO BLEACH).

I wish you didn't have to do this & I wish you the best. Understand if you don't use sterile technique you can get your port infected which can run up your tubing & eventually get to your band itself so please proceed with extreme caution. I know people who got banded in Mexico & what they have had to do is basically lie telling the new doctor that the one who originally did it is no longer doing it or is not available for your schedule. I'm not condoning lieing or stealing or self-medicating but I do understand its going to happen. Good luck!!

I'm glad your feeling better. I have noticed I burp & pass gas alot, which I never did before the band. It's extremely hard to eat unless I eat veeerrryy allow but that's the bands job so I'm dealing with it. Let's hope I lose weight now.

I'm excited & just signed up!!

Oops sorry my reply above is for coco bean NOT Joel :0

Oops sorry my reply above is for coco bean NOT Joel :0

@ joel,

Thanks for clarifying this but your still losing a significant amount of weight. I did p90x last night for 40mins & thought my hard work would b reflected on the scale this's morning but it wasn't, the scale didn't move!! Lol

@b-52

Lol well I've lost 1 pOund since 11/10/2011. It's ok though, just like our inspirational buddy above said we need to focus on eating right, getting enough exercise & being happy. Eventually the scale will move in the right direction.

Thanks SO much Joel, odors & all who gave such great advice. It is definitely hard & I'm definitely committed I just can't do such a stricken diet like you Joel lol. I don't have the will power or right job that allows me to drink Water all day & actually eat meals lol. I work in surgery taking care of others, go figure.

I will try to increase my calories & see. Oh as for the Protein Shake, I don't have one every day & when I do it's only about 4 ounces. Did I mention I'm hypoglycemic? Lol

Joel, since I only go to the gym or exercise 2-3 times per week, what is a routine I a can do that will burn a lot of these calories & boost weight loss???