Kels

I am really freaking out right now. All my life I've been overweight. I've always identified myself as a "big girl" or "curvy" or "full figured/goddess sized", and I sort of owned it. Being bigger than everyone was just who I was and I accepted it. When I first got banded I was a size 18, now I'm in a 12. I never remember being this small as an adult, it's like I went from kids clothes to a size 14 overnight when I was around 13yrs old. I've come to realize that I don't know what it even means to live life as a thin/normal weight person.
All my friends are overweight and I've come to realize that a lot of the lifestyle choices they made (and I made too) is what causes it. They always invite me out to eat and I used to say no because I knew there wouldn't be any healty choices. Then it got to the point to where I was getting a feeling that they thought I was being snobby so now I go but only eat a couple of bites and box the rest up. Which only causes every one at the table to give me dirty looks. Now I'm on the outs with girls I've been friends with since high school. Instead of being happy for my weightloss they seem resentful.
I feel like I'm losing who I am. I want to lose weight, I know I need to, but I never imagined it would cause these kinds of changes in my life. I'm at the point to where I'm afraid to lose more weight because I don't want to lose any more friends and most importantly I don't want to lose my identity.
Am I crazy? Has anyone else experienced this?

Ok, thought I'd post in update. I am going into week six post surgery and I am friggin' starving! I had my first fill 5 days ago of 2cc's but I cannot tell a difference. I didn't have any Fluid in my band before that. The one thing that I notice is that I eat a lot less than I used to because of the plication but I'm still hungry. I had a moment of weakness and went to taco bell 2 days ago. I ate 1 beef burrito and was so full I could barely breathe afterwards. I was so dissapointed in myself but I weighed this morning and was still down 1.5 pounds for the week. So I guess the plication does help in that it is keeping me from really blowing it until I can get an adequite fill to stop the hunger.

I had the Iband done on 11/22. For the first week or so I had terrible heartburn. The second week it was better and I had zero hunger.
By week three the hunger started to return but I noticed I could no longer eat full portions like I used to even though there was no Fluid in my band. I'm guessing that was due to the plication.
It's week 5 and I got my first fill today, 2cc's. So far so good. I don't really feel any discomfort. I drank an 11 oz protien shake for lunch and I'm not hungry 2hrs later so we'll see how it goes...

Its just a bunch of empty calories that you dont need the first six months to a year. Whats more important losing weight or having a drink.