After emptying the dishwasher, I elected to make 6 cups of sugar-free jello (I am on my pre-op liquid diet). The plastic container I traditionally use sprouted a leak and began spraying boiling hot liquid jello everywhere.
Since Katy Perry's "Firework" was blaring I had been transported to a state on invincibility and it took me a few seconds to realize the bowl had the audacity to hemorrhage on a Super-hero like me. After salvaging about a cup of the liquid (will the other cup stop up the kitchen drain?) I took an inventory of the damage.
Spurts of red dye #40 had catapulted a good six feet from the kitchen sink. The floor looked like a crime scene. The countertop wouldn't come clean -- it seemed to be permanently stained.
By the time I tried to wipe the cabinetry, the jello had begun to gel. I don't know how b/c I had yet to add the cold water. I guess the force of the wind cooled the spraying jello in mid-air? I also wiped fully formed jello from the inside of my glasses and sandals. Had I known making jello was a full contact sport I would have been more appropriately attired.
Only minutes before, I had totally bought into Katy Perry's proclamation. I WAS a "firework"... destined for greatness. Mid-song, I was transformed from a firework to a f___-up & I made the appropriate substitutions in the lyrics as a I sang the song.
I hope the experience doesn't ruin the song for me. I LOVE that song.
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