pendulum

Actually I changed over to the store brand (to save money) but.... some things do taste 'better'. So where are you on this journey? have you set a surgery date yet? I had a day off (random schedule) and kept alternating between energy and NO energy (some nice naps) but I DID wind up getting some things done (and isnt' a day off to relax?). I realize I want the band to 'take away' some of the nightmare of food for me- does that makes sense? to give me a TOOL to work with. 3 bites of food sounds heavenly vs a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, entire bag of (filliintheblank), a drive thru full of..... I WANT that energy 'lift' of weight loss to help me get OFF my huge butt and enjoy life- to walk my wonderful dogs. Will it be hard? yes. am I making any sense here? (or am I flunking the psyche eval (smile)) 'dulem

wait.....what??? I have to give up DIET PEPSI??? the nectar of the gods??? No one said anything about that.....hang on (large smile). Isn't it odd to read anothers stories and see '264 lbs' and wish you could be 'there'? different paths. I do think part of this IS the 'process' you know? I almost fascinate about having energy...sigh

Good luck! Keep us posting on the good, the bad and all the fun in between stuff....

About me, I turn 49 in 2 hours. I realize I will hit 50 next year. I am 6'5" pushing 400 lbs (yes I am big) but its hit a point where life is pretty flat line- I keep seeing things I don't do due to my weight. Cleaning (hurts to pick up stuff), trim my toe nails, pick of dog poo (I have a 15 1/2 year old basset mix and a 1 1/2 year old scottie just 'found' me- I want to be around for the new pup. I don't go out, am single and am embarrassed to go out. I have built so many walls. i am a hopeless romantic who is cynical and jaded. I am a gay man. I am loved by my folks but have few 'socializing friends' I don't want folks to get close. I think part of it comes from the pain of obesity. I am tired ALL the time. I look forward to my lunch naps. I am now type 2 diabetic. I take 3 shots of fast acting, 2 shots of slow acting and 1 shot of victoza a day. I take testosterone (I have no sex life). I take 2 anti depressants (seems to be a high coralary (sp) with depression and diabetes. I have sleep apnea (LOVE the cpap!). Oh, former chef, wrote a healthy cookbook, etc- but found food is my best friend/worst enemy. My mom was startled when I told her food 'calls' to me (yet I talk to other fat folk who know what I am talking about!!!). I grew up in a crazy family- food was the invisible drug. When you are fat you can 'hide'. I have lost and gained- EVERY time I hit the magical 299 something goes nuts in my brain.... "when I am 299 I will be...HAPPY' and then, it doesn't. so the weight creeps up, and down...and back up. I think I am hitting my bottom. A former culinary prof got lap banded....so I saw his experience (the funny thing in my mind- he was already amazing looking and had EVERYTHING going for him, looks, personality charm, money, career) isn't that funny? now he has lost 100+ lbs. I just want to be able to sit for an hour and not fall asleep. To not always want sugar or carbs. To not be bitter and angry (or jealous). I want ot be able to walk and laugh... so- my appt with surgeon is Dec 1. I have an appt with my primary care next week. My oncologist is already behind this. My folks are warming up to this. I am exploring.

Thanks Jim- actually have had a CPAP for....7 or 8 years now. LOVE mine. In fact one of the (many) reasons I love the basset mix is one night I smelled 'burning motor' smell but coudln't figure out where it was coming from, so I slipped on my mask and went to sleep- several hours later the basset kept nudging me awake as the fire alarm was chirping every five minutes or so... seems it was picking up the odor of my CPAP motor burning out. Apparantly I was breathing in smoke....thank god/s she was there! Think she saved my life. When I have gone camping I have to have a power cord I do however relish my lunch naps (and 'cautioned' about taking longer lunches yesterday as sometimes I oversleep...) wow, 484? Can't imagine- I know walking on concrete all day takes its tolls on me. I can remember years ago walking for blocks and blocks with the dog...now...around the building is doing good... have you been banded yet? where are you in the process?

Larry, wow, thanks for the amazing note. this is a def 'keeper'. as to the 'drive' issue, I have not had 'relations' in over a year and I am single(!)... one of many factors for me. thanks again and I will be in touch. Penn

Wow, thanks for your note... really describes 'where' I am as well. I can't imagine being 5'3" (I always have folks say 'but you carry your weight well'). I guess I am lucky I don't have high blood pressure, but I have everything else... I have given up on trimming my toe nails, putting on my socks (and shoes) is a daily nightmare. I work in a warehouse environment and my feet hurt constantly, with recent weight gains I try to sit whenever possible... I keep extra deodorant in my locker as I will start to sweat profusely at the drop of a hat. Thank god I have basic strength due to my size so I can move heavy things (part of my job). Are you still on any of the meds? Curious about the testosterone (I take it to) and there is zero "drive" (another down side, it affects 'everything' not just one aspect. Also find I isolate pretty heavily.I took the shots but am on the gel form (I really hated the shots lol, insulin shots are a breeze, the big honkin' testosterone shots are not!!) I realize the band is a tool, part of why I am looking seriously at this. Do you still see food sitting there and hear it 'calling' to you? How do you handle that? smile, feel like I have met a kindred soul (is it me or is the ratio of men banders to female about 9:1?)

I am in the 'exploratory' mode... I seriously looked at lap banding 7 years ago. I was talked out of it, and could not afford it. I am now 75 lbs heavier and diabetic (type 2). One odd question (ammong many) comes to mind... what about after surgery sleeping? I have an old basset hound who is my....well my best buddy (can't sleep with out the warm lump next to me), I now have a second dog whose favorite spot is to hapily leap onto my belly (when on the sofa or office chair) and get petted/kisses/loving.... if/when I have surgery how will that change? I now sleep on my right side or back.... I assume NO lifting for quite awhile afterwards? (I help give the basset a 'nudge' as she is 15 years old). I also assume, working in a warehouse type environment that there is a (severe?) lifting restriction? I am a BIG man who does a lot of 'grunt' work (one big reason I was hired).... thanks in advance

Thanks all! The scottie mix (aka Angus) was abondoned in front of me at a dog park 3 months ago- very smart and very attached- his (okay one of) is when I get home and sit at the computer, I say '1,2,3' and he happily jumps straight up and lands, feet out, on my belly to give me LOTS of kisses (and look out the window behind me). I can't imagine not allowing that! but I like the pillow idea. I also like the idea of assisting the bassett-ish with a nudge. Sounds like my belly will let ME know what I can and cannot do... Appt with my PC is next week, first appt with the surgeon is Dec 1.

Thanks- as to my doc(s), my endo is one of the best (I am told that other doctors will only use him and he is on staff with 5 hospitals) so who he recommended for surgery has to be good. On the surgeons website he was voted 'best of (mycity) several times. One consistent thing I have read is use an EXPERIENCED surgeon, this guys sounds top notch (in fact in making an appt last week the first available was Dec 1 (one concern I have there, is reading that folks 'never see their surgeon again...). For me its all about the 'vibe'- if I like him- thats good enough for me. As to work- I work in a warehouse environment. I am the 'grunt' for my department and regularly life 75 lbs. (tho with the weight gain I have slowed down, and also realize if I get hurt...who cares (i.e. if i wrench my back out, who is that helping). Once a decision is made (about lapbanding) I will talk to management. They have been very understanding about the diabetes (well they have to but...). So I will do what I need to do. As to the pups, I was at the dog park and a lady literally abandoned the scottie in front of me, walked out, didn't look back. I think it was meant to be. He is a year and a half old and being diabetic really gets me up and at em. We go to the dog park at least 4-5 times a week (if if were just me and he older bassetish I would be much more sedentary... I have an appt with my primary care on Tuesday. I called my insurance company, lapband IS covered, 80% + deductable.