helen098

Gum also helps with the gas..this is a trick I know from my colon cancer surgery Chewing gum speeds your guts up and I have found really helps with the gas I still have gas one week later can that be normal I know they had to pump a lot of air but really a whole week? Think the gas pains are worst than the cuts I think I need someone to burp me

I am all set for Monday feel pretty good still I little scared but the closer I get to B day the better I feel Glad I found you guys and I don’t feel so alone

Thanks less than 24 hours to the beginning of a new me Just think maybe by Christmas I could shop in the regular store and cross my legs Nervous, happy, excited I have been going to NYU since last summer, I decided to have the surgery in March of this year and lucky since I have so many docs ( for my neuropathy, asthma and other chemo related side effects I see at least one doc a month so getting the 6 months was no problem. I had to take 2 months off for a broken foot (april 1 triped over my feet) And was 6 pounds too light for the BMI of 40 that Blue Cross Blue Shield requires so lucky I have mild sleep apena…once NYU could say I had sleep apean I was approved within 2 days and had a surgery date in three weeks It has been a long journey but now it’s too fast

y name is Helen and I have been heavy all my life A hit puberty (36C over night) at 12 hard stopped breathing (asthma till today hospitalizations, meds, steroids ect for years if not decades now ) lost the weight a few times with pills and will power I was large but happy…well in 2006 I was diagnosed with state 3 colon cancer after resection, 6 months chemo (had to fight myself to eat) was down to 152 I thought the battle was over I changed my diet, exercised three times a week at the gym (strength and cardio) only eat healthy whole grains but the weight just keep going up And one pound a month no matter what I do I can’t lose the weight this time it's bothering me a lot i feel fat and don't want to go out at all Originally went for the non surgical program at nyc but failed that I am on the liquid diet and have my surgery scheduled for aug 22 but am scared…I have no steady guy my life, parents are dead, and chemo showed me my friends are mostly there for the good times only) I take care of my retarded brother and feel trapped. Trapped at work trapped. Trapped at home..trapped on my body…I want to be thinner but am afraid Don’t know if I will go through with the surgery am kind of scared…any encouragement would be appreciated

As we get closed to B DAY I am feeling much better another birthday i have my first one dec 30, my rebirth day june 6 and now aug 22 ...what should i call it? I have spent a lot of time reading the posts here and it’s reassuring to know other have felt the same way and are fine now. It’s scary to think you are alone in your feeling and weight lose is a very touchy subject. I absolutely hated when I was told how easy the weight lose was when I was on chemo …I could kill the dummies…I ended up asking people if they wanted to change places with me so they could by thin and have cancer…but no takers I am still a little scared (not of the procedure but of what happens next) I am kind of shy and tend to hide behind my weight and also my responsibilities think I should find someone to talk to about this on a long term basis. One of the things I learned from my cancer journey is that you have to look out for yourself first If you don’t then you aren’t much help to anyone I have a lot of issues and am tackling them one by one earlier this year it was finding a solution to the sole crushing pain from the neuropathy now it’s the weight I know it won’t be easy but most things worth doing aren’t. I have a magnet on my desk this I got after chemo that says never never never give up and I don’t want to give up I want to get more out of life and I think I deserve it… I was reading one of threads about after you start to lose weight how people treat you differently and some of it’s true but I think mostly is how you feel about yourself and project that to others When I was younger and heaver I though I looked real good and people responded in kind When I lost all the weight with chemo and got down to 152 you would have thougt is weight only was the issue that I would have been beating the guys off with a stick but no even though I was thin I was sick and didn’t feel well and that is projected to others and According to my doc my goal is 158 but I would like to get to 152 again and be healthy this time I will tell you next week if it’s better or worst then loosing ¼ of your colon. Sorry for the rambling…..

I guy in my office had one and he said it was kind of a pain He had to go to the center afterwork to be hooked up then went home to sleep and the next morning went back to get unhooked but the results were inconclusive and he had to go to a sleep center it was a pain going but mine was in the city so after work I went to dinner and a movie then checked in did the test showered the next morning at the facility then went to work not a very stressful day at all

In july after I finished all the paper work ( 6 months doc, psych, nutritionist, metabolic testing additional checks because of the cancer) I was told at 229 and 5 4 I only had a BMI of 39.1 and my insurance needed a BMI of 40 or over 35 with other health issues I needed to gain 6 pounds or have another issue So they sent me for a sleep apena test (apparently like most of the population I do snore sometimes) After more copays and a night at the sleep center I have mild neuropathy and surprise I was approved. To be 6 pounds too light was crazy…I was told not directly but read between the lines that if I didn’t have apena I was to gain 6 pounds and comes back Insurance companies are nuts After years of dealing with them for my cancer I am convinced that deny claims first then if you complain real loudly will look a little then deny it again I could give you hours of stories of insurance hell buy my favorite one is they won’t pay $60 for a bone density test as I am only 46 even though according to their newsletter I have major risk factors Decades of steroid use for the asthma and six moths of strong chemo that can melt your bones Tell will pay for thousands of cortisone pills but not a simple test to see if they have damaged you Insurance companies are a necessary evil

My surgery is aug 22 and I have to admit I cheated a little too I was only supposed to have liquids and 2 cup of vegs a day (dry no dress or sauce) I feel real nauseous at times and have snuck a piece of cheese one day, a few crackers another and a scrambled egg (no roll or cheese ) yesterday, fell off the treadmill tue night and my left knee is swollen, bruised and is kind of draining (like a burn or a blister) no junk, wine or anything heavy just a little bit to keep me from throwing up I plan to be real good the next 4 days and hope for the best Do you think the surgeon asks you if you ate? And if you tell the truth will they cancel the surgery? Or do they know people will cheat and as long as you only have a little is it ok? I do not have any problem with my liver If I could have has a lean cuisine for dinner I would have been real happy have lost 2 pounds and can't stop peeing is this normal every half an hour and three times at night even though i stop drinking at 8PM

Still kind of freaking out I used to be heavy 170-180 and felt real good about myself even at my all time high before this (229 in 1998 I was ok with it) I wore short skirts and low cut tops and people (guys) responded as such Now I just want to go to work and return home put on my pj’s and eat away from people. I know it’s bad and I need help i want my old life back..before cancer but know that won't happen ever I thought about this for a long time ( have been going to NYC since last summer) I am ok with the risks, I know it’s not a magic treatment and I know that I will have to exercise and eat the new way for life and I am ok with it … after cancer I know all about the new normal and while I don’t always like it I understand and can accept it… I am not lazy (no matter what the docs think) I have been working very hard for years and was thrilled when Dr. Stiles (at nyu) told me she believed me and that there was help and hope to lose weight. I have been through 8 surgeries in the last six years I had 5 surgeries for a anal fistula in addition to the colon resection I had a port (hated it) in my chest and I was never so scared before a surgery. I also have very bad neuropothy in my hands and feet from the chemo and until feb of this year when I found a pain management doc I wouldn’t even have though of doing this as every moment of every day was a nightmare When I finally decided to have this surgery I felt so calm and happy that I was taking charge of my life Then once I got the approval paper and went for the pretest I am driving myself nuts The problem is other than two friends who support my decision to have the surgery no one else knows…I won’t even tell my brother (normal one) and sister in law who live with me as honestly they are not supportive at all of any health issues I have (I could talk for days about what they didn’t do but the best example of how they act is ever day during chemo I worked but left early to come home and have a nape at around 4 pm every night they woke me up at 7:30pm so I could make/serve/clean up dinner for my disabled brother and take care of my dog…when I was craping my brains out (wonder if I can say that here?) and food tasted like I was licking a metal pole I had to get up and cook so they are not going to help when I have this little surgery. I wish my mom was alive so I could talk to her about it. I know it’s all in my head. I know if I call and cancel the surgery the minute I put the phone down I will regret my actions and will beat myself up for the next year about chickening out , I have a history of making snap decisions and regretting them once I do… I have spent a lot of time and money on this and I real want to change my life so why as I so scared? Thanks for listening sorry for the rambling