helen098

Nothing tastes right ..everything is kind of bland and watered down, was so tired of the soft food But the eggs this morning didn’t taste right, keep asking others if the food is ok It must be all in my head right there is no way the band could affect taste could it? am eating a a life saver now wintergreen which is usually very strong and it's mild could something be wrong with me ?

I had surgery on aug 22 and my first fill sep21 Mine hurt like hell when he filled the band…did not get any numbing cream so I guess it was my own fault also felt sore for a few days (pa said this was normal) i figure a minute or two of pain is worth it for my new body I got 3 ½ cc and had 1 in the band so I have 4 ½ with a band that goes up to 10 (wonder why they are different sizes? Do guys get bigger bands or bigger people) Two days liquids 2 days mushies and real food yesterday Was real hungry last night and don’t know if it was head hunger or stomach hunger Though I didn’t have much restrictions but gulped down my lunch yesterday as it I was busy and forgot about the band …boy did that hurt like hell Trying to keep the 1000 calories but still hard go back on oct 17 for another fill The surgeon said if I was hungry to come back sooner but I think I will wait a few days and see what my new normal

Weight 222.5 (sad but still down 7.5 pounds) was told the weight gain/lack of weigh loss is normal Turns out I had 1 cc in my band and they added 3 ½ so I have a total of 4 ½ and my band hold 10 cc The actual access the port was much more painful then acceding the medi port I had in my check for chemo. So numbing meds as I am a tough new Yorker cancer survivor (just in general I think when they hear you have had cancer that you are very strong and don’t need any minor stuff like numbing cream ect) After had to drink a cup of Water to be sure I didn’t throw up Went down fine and stayed down. I was hungry before the fill but after not at all My stomach was growling later in the evening but I was not hungry at all Had ½ an ensure (by the time I had dinner it was after 9pm and I didn’t want to have too much food in my stomach) but I was good didn’t wake up in the middle of the night starving like I have been On liquids for 2 days then mushies for 2 then normal food Feeling real psyched for this let the weight loss begin

I had my surgery on aug 22 and till my first file (yesterday afternoon) I could eat and drink like before I tried very hard not to and to only eat 1000calories but I was starving At my follow up the pa said this was TOTAL NORMAL, for nyu anyway, the time between your surgery and the first fill is to 1. Recover (we cut in to you ) and 2. Learn how to eat the new way (chew till it’s liquid) small bites and small portions He said we don’t expect you to lose any weight as you have no restrictions I knew most of this mentally and from this site but it would have been nice if they told me Personally it seems like them spend so much time on stuff I know or is common sense and not enough on the things I need. I some to this site and see people losing 20 pounds during the pre surgery diet and another 10 before the first file and I feel like I am doing something wrong Everything you are feeling is normal Take this time to practice your eating and before you know it you will start having the fills and the weight loss we so desperately want Good luck and hang in there

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I am new to all this and don’t mean to offend anyone(Just a newbie so don’t hate me) but it seemd when some one admits to slipping up or being scared of the new life we all hope to have someday that they get a lot of negative response. I don’t mean when some one has a problem that appears to need immediate medical attention and is asking us Because ther are too scared to call the doc or if the doc tells you to do something and they are totally ignoring the doc and asking those posters may need a kick in the pants but we also need to be understanding of our brothers and sisters fighing this battle against food. Maybe it’s just me but some of the response seem kind of harsh. I mean where people admit to slipping up during the post op diet ….or eating a little piece of food or wishing they could eat at a party or something. If we were all perfect then none of us would have needed the band or this group I am looking for a place where I can come and find real world experience (not instead of my doc but to suplement it) Little tips and ideas they others have come up with and are willing to share and hopefully eventuially down the road I can share with the new guys . to know what am experiencing is normal I am looking to get support when all of this seems to be too much and to have others to celeberate with my achievements (small and large) I may need a kick in the pants sometimes or to be told my pity party is going on way too long but thats ok as needed , I think we all have people in our life who love to tell us how to live and eat and I personaly don’t want/need any more. didn’t think this was that kind of place mabye I have no right to ask these questions. But in the short time I have been here I have read a lot of posts that made me sad. Mabye the problem is with email I can’t read the persons intented tone? Am I in the right place? What are others looking for in this support group?

Can you eat the day of your fill? I am going for my first fill next week and have an appointment in the late afternoon and wonder what I should/could eat and drink I have a call to the pa but he left for the day and wonder what you guys did?

[i was having second/third /two hundred and five thought till the drugs knocked me out (I posted my surgery day story on the thread ) and even a few days after I was thinking what the hell did I do to myself It is real scary to change your life….i wil not lie the pre op died is hard, it does hurt a little after surgery (but they give you drugs and it’s not an unbearable pain definitely less that a root cannal Now before my first fill I am still hungry and fighing to eat 1000 calories but I know it will get better You read some of the stories here where people have lost over 100 pounds in a year and I think wow Lets be honest we are all here because we couldn’t lose weight on our own..it doesn’t matter any more We have this cool tool and if we want we can change our lives…I will be 47 this year and thinks are not going as planed I know the weight lose won’t fix everything but if I can just fix the weight well mabye I will feel better about myself and who know’s I told none except two friends so i understand not having any family support it would be real nice but if we don't have it it's ok we can do it on our own with a little help from this group Scared is normal ..courage is have the surgery and changing your life If I can do it so can you

since my colon cancer in 2006 i ate very little sugar free foods as i figured why chance it when i went to nyu they told me that For people that have had any kind of cancer it is not advisable for them to eat any artificial sweeteners at all, they would not let me do the fast 20 program nyu has due to the cancerI asked my oncologist and he agreed no artificial sweeteners of any kind ever as the studies show once you have cancer you have a higher risk of getting another cancer and it seems like they don’t know about the artificial sweeteners. My onc says it is not worth the risk

Walk and chew gum The gas pains are worst than a colon resection Once you start to eat soft foods they go away

yuck 14 out of 15 yes good thing i got the band...wonder if i take it again in a few months will i pass?

congrats to being on the other side (less than 200) i hope to be there by the end of the year see you there soon

do you have room for one more at your party? The liquid stage is HELL – all you can do is think about food- I still have to cook for my disabled brother so shopping was HELL. I went to Trader Joes and realized there was nothing in the entire store I could eat and almost ended up crying it felt like a special level in hell for us over eaters It does get better… I am now three weeks and one day post op and eating real food I can’t have the sugar free foods (due to the colon cancer) so I am in the same boat…kind of jealous of the people who can eat Jello and pudding I did eat every night after my dinner shake a regular Italian ice ..it is 100 calories and i would let it melt in my mouth before swallowing Someone said to use this time to kind of train for the band restrictions Practice drinking and eventually eating slowly I am assuming you did this for the same reason I did , it was our only hope I know it will get better hang in there

Surgery date Aug 22 Got to NYU at 6:30am signed in and waited about 15 minutes for the clerks to “chat” finial went up to the desk and asked if there was anything else I needed to do….they took me right away They have this new system where they scan your palm it is supposed to be easier than giving your info again and again well when I scanned my hand I was not in the system…had to sign in again Next they asked for a copay of $150….no one ever mentioned this and even told me again and again not to bring any money or valuables so I answer NO you told me to not bring any money if you had told me about the copay I would have brought you a check…more typing so can you pay something to the bill NO I told them again I have NO money with I was told NOT to bring any money with me She grumbles and gives me the forms and my wrist band. I go through the double doors to the nurses station and am told why are you late? Your surgery is set for 8AM. I respond NO I am not late I have been sitting in the waiting room since 6:25AM waiting for your staff to finish having coffee. Never mind she says and takes me into a little room and tells me to undress I undress and put my clothes in my little canvas NYU bag ( to remember nyu I suppose ) no plastic bags for them…..the nurse comes in and takes my blood press, temp and asks when did I eat, take my meds last ect… the surgeon (Dr. Ren) comes in and I notice for the first time how tiny and skinny she is (must be a size 0 on her fat days) her arm looks like a dolls compared to mine She asks how the last 2 week went (the diet) I answer it was hard she never asks if I cheated and I never volunteer the info..i tell her I am worried and a little scared she is kind of flip in her response and I can tell she just want to finish with me and start her day. She asked why are you nervous? The pain we will give you drugs for that. Are you afraid of waking up? That almost never happens (great something else to be worried about) or what I tell her it’s none of those things I am worried about what comes next, she answer is well the unknown is scary but you have taken a good first step your ok right? Well no but I just shake my head yes (defeated again) and she runs off and says she will see me in the afternoon…this was a lie she never saw me again (still hasn’t only saw the PA for the follow up) The anestelogist PA comes in then the inter then the doc himself every one asks the same questions and we have the same conversation….he tells me it will be IV drugs then gas and the tube to breath for me …this scares me a lot (after my colon resection I remember waking up when they were removing the tube and being freaked out that I could not breath) I tell all of them this and they say sorry you will have to be awake to move your head and respond to us….then they weigh me 228 yea Next they nurse comes and says we are ready (I think about leaving) we walk down the hall and about 10 people are outside the operating room…..i go inside and lay on the table it is now 8AM by the wall clock and I start to think why do they need such a big clock? No pronounce time of death I think (have watched too much house for my own good) (I think it was bigger than the normal one for us larger people) the iv gets started and I am still thinking of stopping ( I wonder what they will do if I scream NO I changed my mind) they have me move my neck up and around so they can get a good angel for the tube (freak out again) they start the gas at the same time they tell me they are starting the good drugs ……I am still afraid then everything goes black I wake up in recovery and the nurse asks if I am in pain I say no as it’s not that bad…I so back to sleep for a while…I always want to sleep more in the recovery room. It seems to me that others get to sleep a lot longer than I do all….. after a while ( I look at the clock and its now after 11Am) my friend comes in with my stuff….the nurse tells her I won’t be able to leave till after 3pm so she should drop off my prescription and sends her back to work …they ask again if I am in pain and I say a little That ask what kind of pain meds do I want? I don’t know I say what every you have They tell me tell don’t have the liquid pain meds but I can give me a shot of something with a F I say that is fine I am not allergic to any meds except aspirin the nurse then says well you had it during the operation then I say ok….well right after the shot I feel like I am flying..this is good stuff I get a room after 1pm…the nurse tells me I can drink at 1:15PM but can has ice chips I walk around the floor till I am tired and return to the room and pee and walk some more It hurts a little around my stomach but what really hurts is the gas the pain in my left shoulder is real bad I walk around some more and come back to my room to read and make a few calls My roommate is real sick and every time I pass to go to the bathroom her friend/daughter gives me a dirty look….tuff luck I am considerate but what the hell if you want privacy PAY for a PRIVATE ROOM I need to walk and pee and won’t compromise myself or my health for anyone At around 3PM the nurse comes in and gives me the discharge papers . I ask when will my Dr. be in Well she won’t I am told but the pa will see me before I leave…I walk some more drink a cup of chicken broth (wonderful on my sore throat )and drink some water Honestly I am terrified of drinking anything and fully expect to choke. But happily I can drink just fine I go in the bathroom and lift my gown to see the damage..it was not so bad four little heart shaped bandages four across of stomach and one between my breasts…the one on the right side and the one between my breasts hurt the most (I still do three weeks post surgery) Around 4pm the nurse comes and says when do you think you will be leaving? I say my friend is coming from work so around 5:30, I ask when the surgical pa will come around since the surgeon isn’t….she will check but is not sure he is even still on the floor…she never returned so when my friend came around 6pm I left No one stopped me or even noticed I decided to take the express bus home..boy was that a mistake …I figured the subway (with the stairs and a transfer would be too difficult on my stomach) and didn’t want to waste the money on a cab and get stuck in rush hour traffic…the bus was a bad idea first on all I sat in the first row and I didn’t care if a 100 year old with two broken legs got on I was not moving….moving hurt too much and I think we hit every pot hole in the city….i was holding my purse against my stomach but it didn’t help much just wanted to go home and sleep It was a long day but not as bad as I thought it was Overall the pain was not that bad for me about a 3 or 4 doable without meds but meds do help The fear was much worse than the pain I am glad I didn’t chicken out

Back to my fri morning weigh in and still 220.60 I am starting real foods today …I haven’t had the first fill yet so maybe this is my problem feel like I can eat normal am trying to stay under 1000 calories but thinking about food and hungry all the time Also i still have a slight pain in my right side. Is this normal? This is where my port is so I wonder. Don’t’ have the full feeling yet. Had a egg on a roll for Breakfast ate less than half because it didn’t taste right and I had a shrimp cocktail for lunch (200 calories and I figure its mostly Protein right) and it’s now 4pm and I am hungry..i want to go looking for some candy but won’t When does it get better? This maybe silly but will you feel full like before but only with a small amount of food? I read about the pains and throwing up and it scares me ---------------------

Over the weekend I came home from running errands and I was thirstily and tired went to the fridge and grabbed some lemonade (I know too many calories I was bad but thought I needed something) The first cup ( a small paper cup went down easy but I was still thirsty so I took another and dam the calories well the minute I finished and put the cup down I got the most incrediable pain in my left shoulder…if I didn’t know what it was I would have called 911 and been on my way to the hospital It took a good 15- 20 minutes to go away….never again.. worst pain ever (worst then when they cut out 1/4 of my colon I wonder about the biology..exactly why does the left shoulder only hurt? I assume it’s because I drank too much too fast but how does it get up in your chest? I thought------------- I didn’t have any restrictions but I guess I was very very wrong I

i only weigh myself once a week other wise i go nuts thianks for the support i know it a process and wish it would go faster i know the weight didn't come on overnight but i sure wish it would go away overnight the doc office called me back and the pax says it's normal to still have some pain i know your not docs here but just want to see how others feel if i think it's important or an emergency i would cal the doc beofre going online

congrats on the weight lose i am so jealous i can only eat 1000 calories for well i guess forever the metabolic test shows if i eat 1200 i will gain weight , major bummer i am just starting this journey but it seems to be that we will still have to think about food for the rest of our lives i thought the band would eliminate it

Nothing tastes right ..everything is kind of bland and watered down, was so tired of the soft food But the eggs this morning didn’t taste right, keep asking others if the food is ok It must be all in my head right there is no way the band could affect taste could it?

Am on the soft foods since thu and while I have no problem at all eating I am so hungry on the 1000 calories….all I can think about is food Will start real food either fri or sat and wonder if it will be better I go back for my first fill on sep 23 and am worried that I won’t lose any weight by then and worried that the ten pounds I lost post surgery will be back\ It still hurts if a press on the incision sites and sometimes I get a slight pain in my rights side especial when I walk a lot or have to go to the bathroom

i went back to solids last night and this moring i was 221.2 up a pound only had 1/2 potato and baby food banana --- i was kind of bumed out i plan to go back to weighing myslef once a week to avoid driving myself nuts

I asked the PA at my last visit before surgery and he looked at the computer and said it was 158 The doc never discussed it with me….post chemo I was 152 and while at 5 4 I think it’s still a little over At 158 I should be a size 10 or a 8 if its big but honestly would like to be less that 150 even 149 would be good. I want to try and add the counter at the bottom but am not sure what to have as my goal

I saw the commercial at the gym last month and though they looked good I hate bra shopping I am now a 44DD …..i started at age 12 went from wearing a kids tank top to a 36C the next day and thinks have never been good between us…too much…hate when men talk to them Most of the time…. At my lowest weight 151 (after colon cancer and chemo) I was wearing a 38B …unfortunately the weigh lose will make them droop again (at 46 they are a lot lower than they used to be. When I beat this weight thing I am going to have breast reduction surgery (will take out a loan if I have to) and I plan to be a old lady with high small perfect boobs till I’m 80 But first this dam weight

Sorry about the late reply but my computer is sicker than I was, then because of the hurricane my friend couldn’t fix it yet so I had to wait till I got back to work The surgery went well (at least that’s what the pax said never did see the surgeon after) I have five little heart shaped bandages four across my stomach and one between my breasts directly above my belly button. Was at nyu by 6:30AM in the operation room by 9am and walking the floors by 1pm didn’t get home till 8pm as I had to wait for my friend to finish work to release me The pain level was about a four after surgery (took some pain meds in the recovery room but honestly could have dealt with it. They gave me liquid codine for the pain and after the first day only took it at night as it hurts when I lay down a certain way. Up till the time they placed the oxygen mask over my face I was thinking about changing my mind The surgeon was kind of flip when I saw here before surgery (asked what was I scared ig the pain- we will give you meds waking up during the operations – hadn’t even though of that I told her honestly I was afraid of what would happen next..she kind of blew me off said I was courageous but had nothing to worry about. The idea of the breathing tube freaked me put and I told them They said I would feel it coming out but didn’t..throat and next was sore for a while But the worst pain is the gas…much worse than a colonoscopy. Pain in the left side next chest till today that goes away when I pass gas….pooped my pants twice (thu at the moving and Sunday in my own bed) not sure if it’s the liquid diet, surgery after effects or my normal stuff Am kind of annoyed that she was too important to see me after surgery. It is feeling better each day but still not normal coming back to work in the city Commute was messed up and since I work for an airline it’s nuts today Thanks for the good thoughs…glad I did it…so far I have lost 10 pounds since the start of the liquid diet Another week of only liquids (as only eating 800 calories) then next Monday get soft food…at first I was counting down every hour now it’s ok…one more week of ensure is ok wight this moring 220

Went for my follow up this morning and it went well, escophogram shows port is well placed The PA (still haven’t seen the surgeon since the operation) says I am doing very good, text book Case so far and can start eating soft foods tonight/tomorrow then in 8- 10 day regular food While on the one hand I have been dreaming about this now that I can I’m scared to eat So far I have lost 10 pounds down to 220.20 and my clothes are already starting to feel looser But if I start eating real food then I am sure the weight loss will be slower and I am scared of how it will feel going down..they showed me the port with the dye and while interesting kind of freaky With the liquid diet I was feeling like I did on chemo ….lightheaded stomach pains losing weight without too much effort…not really hungry I was terrified the first few sips after the surgery..scared that band may leak or slip… Now afraid to eat…..than is the problem after cancer… your body had betrayed you once and now you are afraid of everything..though the reason I did this is to change myself and be happier and not so scared Need some courage ….now where is that wizard???