MegInNOLA

Wow! Congratulations to you!! That's a big milestone. You've earned every dorky move of that happy dance!!!
Meg

Hey fellow sleevers,
Today is my 8-week surgiversary. I have lost 42 pounds and still have a lot to go. But I have gone from a size 26/28 to a size 20 on the top and 22 on the bottom. My shoe size has gone down from a 12W to an 11-1/2 normal width (I'm 6'2", and my mom used to say that if I had smaller feet, I'd blow over in a high wind, LOL). I made my first purchase from the “regular” size women’s clothing section the other day—an XL T-shirt that fits beautifully (yes, it’s stretchy!).
I have learned how to eat—what to eat, how much, and when. I have also, through repeated trial and error, learned how NOT to eat—fast, thoughtlessly, without a PPI on board, with a beverage, one bite past satisfaction. I have found Protein sources that work and that I enjoy. I have learned the importance of being disciplined about taking medication and Vitamins. I have learned that my scale will eventually move again and in the right direction.
I have eaten out numerous times and have found sleeve-friendly food everywhere; it may not be the precise thing I was craving, but I can eat in public with friends and/or family. My goals have changed. My mother-in-law, after watching me eat 3 shrimp for lunch yesterday at a local seafood restaurant, asked me, “Are you full?” I said yes. She then asked the more important question, “But are you satisfied?” I said yes and was happy to realize that I was, indeed. Food is no longer my drug of choice, nor is it at the center of my decisions. What I enjoy about eating out has changed; now, I really focus on my companions, on the conversation, on enjoying the smells and texture and all the elements of the food. I have given up quantity for quality. In the beginning, I really wasn’t happy about being forced to do so—but I knew that’s what this surgery meant. I awoke from surgery with a serious case of buyer’s remorse. Today I know that I would do it again, because I honestly believe it is the only way I would ever be able to lose the weight that was threatening my health and my long-term happiness.
I know a lot of us got into our overweight status for a variety of reasons—inactivity due to physical limitation, thyroid issues, pregnancy, emotional or binge eating. For me, one of the big triggers was fear; I was sexually abused as a child and I wore my “fat suit” sort of like a suit of armor—let’s face it, fat people are invisible in our society, unless someone just wants a handy target to say something ugly to. For decades, I wore my protection on the outside because of fear on the inside. I worked with a therapist last summer because I didn’t want to continually be a victim of my childhood trauma. I changed on the inside. Having this surgery done is an affirmation of that change, getting rid of the “fat suit” and allowing me to be me, strong enough and capable enough to deal with whatever comes along, able to trust and love and relax. The sleeve is helping me become on the outside what I already am on the inside, and that is satisfying in a way that food can't touch.
Cheers to my fellow 4/18 sleevers, and a happy next 8 weeks to everyone.
Meg

I'm right there with you! I'm having trouble getting over 500 a day, seriously. Yesterday I had 350 cals. I can't eat very much food at one time, plus can't tolerate Protein shakes, so I'm sort of stuck with the small amount of food--I'm satisfied hunger-wise, but the scale isn't moving except with regard to Water (like a pound every 3rd day or so)....
I'm hoping, like you, that a year from now we'll be able to look back and smile, but you're right, for now, it's really hard! It's hard to know that you're doing what you can but it's not having the results that you'd like; it feels like for all this limitation, we should be much further along, doesn't it!?
But at this point, all we can do is keep trying until we find the combination that works. I'm still trying to hit Water and Protein goals, but thanks to my PPI, am no longer throwing up every day (yay)... so I'm claiming that as progress and am moving on to the next stage--getting my calories up by eating a LOT of snack-type meals of protein throughout the day. I guess. We'll see. It's really hard to eat when one isn't hungry.
Hang in there!
Meg