klariade

I think all you can do right now is be there for him and pray for him. It sounds like you still love each other and want to make this work, but you need to give it some time. Instead of going to a regular counselor, try seeking out a Christian counselor. My hubby and I had to meet with a Christian family therapist as part of our pre-marital counseling and it was wonderful. We weren't having any problems, just going through preparing for marriage, but it was very eye-opening and helped us understand ourselves and each other better. A Christian counselor will focus on how to bring you two back together, and bring in the spiritual aspect and help you two focus on God and the convenant you've made... instead of a secular counselor who questions why you are trying to make it work (not that all secular counselors are like that, I know some very good ones in fact). Try going on a marriage retreat, I've had some couples tell me it saved their marriage. I would also highly recommend you both watch the movie "Fireproof" together. Perhaps God is putting you through this to strengthen you (I know, crazy but it happens). My parents were on the verge of divorce several times, and somehow God made it work for them. They've been married 32 years and their marriage is now stronger than ever. Have faith and don't give up!

I've been on Yaz for years. My gyno put me on it because it has different hormones than traditional bc pills and I was battling PCOS. Love it, never had a problem, and my periods are shorter and lighter (always a good thing!). My insurance company switched me to the generic form of Yaz last year when it came out and I had problems, so I have to take the name brand. They claim the generic is the same, but I can assure you for me it was NOT (and several others I talked to). Hopefully though, I'll be going off it soon because my clock is starting to tick I'd really like my hubby to knock me up soon.

I just replied to your other thread and I guess my question has been answered (the question being did they do a pregnancy test pre-op). One of two things happened: A. Someone screwed up. or B. Considering it would have been very early, your HCG levels may not have been high enough to detect pregnancy. Although, considering it was done at a hospital (and I'm assuming by blood draw) I'm leaning toward option A. In any case, congrats to you and make sure you keep yourself closely monitored during this pregnancy! Gosh, I couldn't even imagine being pregnant a month after surgery. That's crazy! But wonderful too. God has blessed you for sure! And on a positive note, the band will probably keep you from gaining too much weight during pregnancy, and will make it easier to take off the post-baby pounds.

CONGRATS! I am curious though, did they do a pregnancy test pre-op? That's pretty standard procedure, as they won't operate if the test comes back positive because it is too dangerous. So unless you were "fixed" (which obviously you're not) they should've done a pregnancy test. If they didn't, I would be asking why because they are putting your baby at risk. Not trying to dampen your happy news, just wondering! Congrats again!

Absolutely, without a doubt, YES!!! It's the best thing I've ever done for myself! I'm a completely different person than I was two years ago, and without the aid of the band my life would be very different. I probably would've tipped the scales at over 400 lbs by now (my highest was 374), and would be looking at a very low quality of life. Since the band, I've no doubt increased my life span, I'm off all my medications, my PCOS is gone and I have a much higher chance of getting pregnant. I love exercise, I can go places with friends and not worry about keeping up, I can go to an amusement park and not worry about fitting in the rides, and I can shop in any store I choose! The few blips I've encountered (like getting stuck and not being able to tolerate certain foods) are nothing compared to the life I've gained. If I had the chance to go back and time and make the decision again, I wouldn't even give it a second thought. I'd hop up on that operating table and go through it all again!

Congrats to you on your decision to be selfish! You DO need to take care of yourself! If you don't take care of yourself, then how can you expect to take care of your children and family? I don't have my own children yet, but had I not had the lap band the possibility of even having children would be slim to none, let alone being able to care for them. I teach several children with Autism, and I understand completely how difficult they can be. I can't imagine having to go through it as a parent, and you sound like a very strong person. Your son is very blessed to have you as his mother!

I struggle with food addiction too, and the past 8 months it's been hard to get under control. I was banded in August 2009, and the first year of banding it was like my food addiction didn't even exist. I guess I was so excited and determined that I didn't let food get in the way. I lost weight very easily the first year. The second year I've struggled. I've only lost 15 pounds in the past year because I've been riding the weight loss roller coaster. Up and down, up and down, up and down... I'm slowly getting back on track now. I want to lose another 30-40 pounds and I know this last 30-40 pounds is going to be harder than the first 150! I have to take it one day at a time...heck, sometimes I have to take it one meal or one snack at a time. I have to track everything I eat and hold myself accountable. Food addiction is a horrible thing to have, but something we addicts will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. I have to plan my days ahead of time, and when I'm craving something I have to stop and THINK about what I'm about to do. Am I really hungry or just bored? Am I eating because I need to or because I'm emotional? Sometimes it's ok to give in to small indulgences, and other times it's best to put it away. Go for a walk, read a book, exercise, anything to keep your mind off food. Find someone who you can hold yourself accountable to...a friend, spouse, family member. My hubby has been put under strict orders to tell me NO when I want to go on an ice cream run! (we live 2 miles from a Bruester's and they know us quite well). Have you considered joining Overeaters Anonymous? It's a great program that may help you work through WHY you eat and gives you a ton of support. It also is big on accountability. I've found that with weight loss, it's all about accountability baby! Own up to your choices and be accountable for what you put in your mouth. It's simple really...but it is in no way easy. You can do it if you just take it one day (or meal) at a time!

I have a lot of medical personnel in my family, so I asked my mom (a nurse), my aunt (a former EMT), my cousin's husband (former EMT and current leader of a phlebotomy team), and my best friend (an EMT) about this. All of them said that if there would be an emergency situation where your life depends on emergency responders or medical personnel sticking a tube into your stomach, they're not going to care whether or not you have a Lap Band or gastric bypass. Chances are in this type of situation you're going to be unconscious and they will do what is needed to save you. The band can always be replaced if it is damaged, but your life can't. So, all of them (and my doctor as well) have told me that for a lap band patient, a medical ID bracelet/necklace is unnecessary, but if it makes you feel better it can't hurt. I have a Lap Band card that I carry in my wallet. Also, some advice from my medical friends & family: If you're unconscious emergency personnel will go through your personal belongings and wallet to find identification and emergency contacts. They will go through your cell phone and look for a contact named "ICE" (stands for in case of emergency) and recommend that you have 2-3 ICE contacts. It's also a good idea to have an envelope labeled "ICE" or "Ambulance" and post it on the side of your refrigerator, where EMT's will look in the case that you are unconscious and they need medical information. You should have emergency contacts, any pertinent medical information, and doctor's names and numbers in the envelope. Hope this helps everyone stay safe!

Yeah, it sucks but you really have to keep on top of paperwork. I had my surgery later than I originally had wanted because my doctor's office didn't send paperwork when they were supposed to. The whole process took so much longer because apparently my doctor's office doesn't know how to communicate with it's patients! It's so frustrating! Luckily my surgeon's office is EXCELLENT and was very on top of things. And insurance companies...ugh. Don't even get me started. In the medical world, you have to be your own advocate. Kudos to you for getting it done!

I'm coming up on my two-year bandiversary and I still remember the roller coaster of emotions leading up to surgery. From day to day I was either going through with it or cancelling, I couldn't make up my mind. The closer surgery got, the more of an emotional mess I became. I laughed, I cried, I watched documentaries of people who had lost weight without surgery (by the way, that was NOT a good idea!), and I prayed A LOT. Of course, the final decision was to go through with it and I've never looked back! I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The payoff has been huge, and my quality of life is astronomically better than it was two years ago! I think everybody goes through the emotional roller coaster leading up to lap band surgery (or any surgery for that matter). It is perfectly normal. Like everyone else has said, keep reading success stories and keep yourself around people who support and understand your decision and will be a good motivator for you. Visiting these boards and reading positive postings is also a good thing to do. You are going to do GREAT and your life is going to be WONDERFUL!

I have one too! http://band-ade.blogspot.com/

My band also has a mind of its own sometimes. Some days I'm wide open, and others it's hard to get even liquids down. Stress is a big factor...the more stressed I am the tighter I am. I've also found that I get tighter around "that time of the month." When I have a cold, I get all clogged up from post-nasal drip. Colder weather sometimes tightens me up, too (and I've heard others say that warmer weather makes them tighter). I also have to drink coffee or tea in the morning before attempting anything to eat, and even then the most solid thing I can get down is cottage cheese. There's also a thing called "first bite syndrome" where the first few bites you take will have a tough time going down. I get this A LOT. Just chew chew chew those first bites, and eat very slowly at first. After the first few bites food should go down normally. I don't know why this is, but it does seem worse when I'm very hungry. Also, make sure you're getting your water in! The days when I'm fully hydrated (at least 64oz of water) I have a much easier time eating. Those days when I don't get all my water in, and usually the day following, I get stuck very easily. In time you'll get to know your band's tendencies and what makes you tighter. Of course, sometimes there's just no rhyme or reason to it!

Seriously, I should be able to fly with the amount of excess skin on my arms! LOL! I wear a lot of 3/4 length sleeves year-round, but honestly in the summer it's just too darn hot to worry about it. Nobody has said anything to me about my arms, the only comments I get are how good I look! I wore a strapless gown at my wedding, and even bought some cute sleeveless sundresses. I figure heck, I've lost over 150 pounds I'm gonna flaunt my new body (tastefully and within reason, of course). Besides, even with all the extra skin I still look better than I did when the skin was all filled in.

It's a great problem to have! I think of it this way...all the money I'm saving on the food I'm NOT eating can be spent on new clothes! And this is a great time of year to shop! Summer clearance sales paired with back-to-school sales, you can get some really killer deals! Happy shopping!

I learned that lesson the hard way too and never did it again! Especially cold liquids, they will definitely make matters much worse. If you're just a little bit stuck, some warm tea can help move things along. But if you're really stuck, just like above walk around and stretch your arms over your head to try and loosen things up. My doctor did tell me that if you're eating food that is very dry (especially meats) having a little water with them is ok to help them go down, just don't overdo it.

CONGRATULATIONS! The first week is the hardest, you'll be sore and full of gas. Keep taking short walks to get the gas out and help the healing process. You don't want to overdo it, but you do want to move a little. You're on your way to a whole new life! Welcome to the loser's bench!

I had that happen about a year ago, and I ended up going back for a tiny unfill. I think my doc took out .2 cc's. It's amazing how the tiniest tweak can make the biggest difference! Sometimes it takes a few days for your fill/unfill to settle...it's not always an instant change. Outside factors can affect your band too. Constipation definitely will make you tighter. I also get tight around "that time of the month." Some cycles I can only do fluids for a couple days because I'm so darn bloated. If I have a cold I also can't eat because I get all that post-nasal drip crap that clogs me up. But regardless, If you can't eat, I would get to the doc ASAP and get a little fluid taken out! Remember you can always get it put back in if you need it later on.

Hi Greg, I am right there with you! I lost my first 100 pounds in 6 months, and then it took me a year to lose the next 50...and since then I've been riding the weight loss rollercoaster. We tend to slip back into our old habits after awhile, and it's hard to pull yourself out of it. I'm coming up on my 2-year anniversary next month and a bit down in the dumps that I haven't reached my goal yet. I'm about 35-40 pounds away (haven't set a solid goal, just an "about" goal). For me, it's all about routine and structure. I HAVE TO schedule time for exercise, and I MUST plan my meals ahead of time. I'm finally getting back on track, and here's what I did: - Every week, I am planning the following week's meals before I do my weekly grocery shopping. I write down everything I am going to eat, and then make sure to check it off after I eat it. If I eat something else, or something in addition, that gets written down too. I'm being 100% accountable to myself, and to my husband. He is under strict orders to veto any requests for ice cream runs, pizza, or unhealthy snacks! - Check out www.livestrong.com/mydailyplate. I've been using it to track my eating and exercise. It's an amazing tool. Find something like my daily plate that will help you track. - I needed some structure, so I found a diet plan that works for me. I just need to be told what to eat, how much, and when! - Make time for exercise in your daily schedule. Decide on a time of day you're going to exercise and actually write it down in your appointment book/calendar/phone. - Find a workout buddy! My husband and I have a pact that we don't accept the "I just don't feel like exercising today" excuse. There have been times we've had to drag each other out of the house, but we feel good when we do! Find someone to meet you at the gym or go walking with...again, it's accountability. - Set goals and reward yourself when you get there. Find something you really want and set a weight loss goal to get it. It could be anything, a new CD or something. Having something to work toward is good motivation! Whatever you do, you have to take it one day at a time. You will have good days and bad days. Celebrate the good days, but don't beat yourself up over the bad ones. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. It is hard to get motivated and restarted after you've fallen off the bandwagon, but starting is the first step! I have found that if I make a plan and I can stick it for two weeks, it starts to become routine. So if I've been eating healthy and exercising for two weeks, I'll feel sluggish if I don't hit the gym and junk food will make me feel blah. Once you've been doing it long enough, you will CRAVE exercise and healthy food! I'm not there yet myself, but there was a point where I was and I remember how good it felt. I'm focusing on the positive things to get me through the first couple weeks. And don't forget how far you've already come! Focus on the positive energy and feelings you had when you were losing and eating right. Good luck!

When I was in physical therapy for my knee, the therapist had me do a lot of time on an exercise bike. My gym has the kind of bikes that the seat has a back on it and it sits a little lower. Might be better for your back? The pool is a good place too for joint and back injuries.

Wondering if anyone has tried the SlimGenics diet (used to be Slim4Life). My husband's cousin lost a lot of weight on it, so I researched and decided to give it a try. It's very Lap Band-friendly. High in protein, fruits and veggies, very low carb and sugar. The only problem I'm having is with the veggies. The veggie servings are way to much for me...1 cup raw or 1/2 cup cooked. There's no way I can get 4 servings of veggies in one day! I've cut the veggie portion sizes in half and that seems to be working. I've also thought about adding an extra protein serving a day, although I think I'm getting enough protein as it is. Their protein portions are right along with what my doctor says Lap Band patients should be eating each meal. I'm almost two years out, and finding I need some more structure than just checking in with the doctor every few months. So far so good, just looking for some advice from anyone else who has been successful with SlimGenics.

I use two brands: Pure Protein and Luna Protein. If you get the Luna Bars, make sure they are the PROTEIN bars, not just the regular Luna bars which are loaded with carbs and sugar. Both the Pure Protein and the Luna Protein are high in protein (around 20g I think) and low in sugar and carbs...and they taste good! I always keep one in my purse for when I'm on the go and get a snack craving. Better to indulge in a protein bar than the bag of Doritos at the checkout line!

I haven't been on a cruise, but my doctor also said he didn't want to do a fill before I went on my honeymoon for the same reasons mentioned above. You could end up too tight or have complications and be not able to eat. I would wait until you get back to get a fill, and just try to make good choices while on your cruise. Have a great trip!

It's perfectly normal for your periods to be irregular after surgery. Your body is under stress from the surgery, and coupled with the drastic change in diet and rapid weight loss your hormones are probably all sorts of screwed up. It will eventually stabilize. One of my weight loss victories has been finally having a normal cycle and lighter periods after years of painfully heavy periods and a very irregular cycle. Give your body some time to adjust.

I'm about where you are, getting very close to goal and haven't lost weight in months! I just got married 6 weeks ago and pretty much gave up losing any weight before the wedding...too much stress! I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and I know I'm up a few pounds, but I also know I'm in dire need of a fill. I can eat just about anything, and almost normal person portions! I've found that the great thing about the band is that it restricts food...but the bad thing about it is it doesn't restrict everything. Chips, cookies, ice cream...they just go right on through. I'm a carbaholic, and chips and cookies are one of my serious downfalls. I've re-committed to my weight loss and started filling up on solid protein and veggies. I've found that if I eat a 4-6oz of protein and 1/2 cup of veggies at a meal, there's not much room left for anything else. The protein and veggies stay in my pouch longer and keep me more satisfied. I snack on fruit and veggies and always keep a protein bar in my purse in case I'm hungry when I'm out. It keeps me from buying the bag of chips at the checkout counter. Let's all recommit and get ourselves to our goal weights! We can do it if we stay focused!

Oh yeah, my husband LOOOOOVES being married to a bandster! He gets all sorts of leftovers, especially when we go out to eat.