KaitlynnHughes

So, here's the thing....this is a sticky situation! I figured i'd see what everyone here says because my family and friends are very biased in there opinions! Brief History: My husband and I have been together for a very ROCKY 7 years....married for only four of those! We have 2 boys aged 2yr and 5yr...who are amazing...hehe!! Things have never been good....i chased him in college while he dated other girls (blinded by lust) and then ended up preggers! We moved in together trying to make it work for the baby....lots of shitty things were done to me at that time but once again i was stupid, insecure and i had a baby with him and wanted it to work! He cheated on me...cops were called once....my family grew a hatred for him during this time. Long story short....i always took him back!!! He graduated college and got a job in FL and insisted we were moving (we lived in PA our whole lives) and so me and the baby could be on his health insurance we thought we had to get married...so we did!!! FL was good...just typical bickering! THEN we moved back to PA and in with HIS PARENTS!!! They cause lots of fights between us constantly....but on night i let my guard down and hello baby #2!!! So we lived with them until he was 6months old and FINALLY bought our own house and moved out!! Well...that was 1 and 1/2 yrs ago and since then our relationship has been going down hill!! Alot of mental abuse from him towards me.....and lately towards the kids (which makes me sick)!!! In the past few years i've thought about leaving him numerous times...tried twice and went back! I think my lack of self esteem mixed with his manipulations has always been the stopping force!!! Present day: I had my surgery in June and he's been no help...actually the opposite...like going to our favorite wing place the day i got home from surgery....ignoring my mother when she asked for help with the kids while she was taking care of me post op! he goes out when ever he wants!! he just bought a jeep after we talked about getting a mini van bcz we are bursting out of my little car!!! Its like he's pissed that i'm getting happy and healthy....he puts words in my 5yr olds mouth...like "mommy, you only buy food for you..none for us!!" Just because i'm cooking healthier...i still buy the kids their kid Snacks and fun foods!! i'm just more carefull...i don't want them to go through what i went through!!! Everything I do is wrong, and NOW he's acting suspicious of ME!!! I do my hair and make up more now than the past few years bcz i like the way I look....i dress cuter bcz i can!! i don't flaunt it or rub it in!!! and no i am not intimate with him....haven't been for awhile but I don't know how anyone could emotionally bring themselves to be intimate with someone who has repeatedly hurt them!! He thinks bcz I leave early for work that i'm having an affair, every phone call i get he's listening in, and i'm going away this weekend to my girlfriends bridal shower and he's freaking out that i'm gonna cheat on him while i'm out there....BTW his cousin is going with me....he's acting insane and its almost like he's chasing me now like i did him in college! I talked to a lawyer....they said to get my eggs in a row before doing anything drastic like leaving him. I have so much confidence now that I'm ready emotionally to take that step but i'm still scared!!!! I don't want people to think oh she got skinny and left him!! Bcz thats clearly not it!!! I grew confidence!!! I guess what i wanted out of this post is to see if anyone else has gone through this or any advice would be helpful! Sorry this turned into a long rant but i really needed to get this off of my chest!!!

Thanks Ladies, I have contacted the attorney....I got a day shift job that will allow me a set schedule with four days off per week in a row (i've been waiting a long time for this position and I finally got it!) Its almost like the stars are aligning! I hope nobody thought i was whining but I just really felt like I had to get it off my chest! Now for the hard part....physically and legally removing him from my life....not my kids...my life! I am looking for an apartment to rent for me and the kids....and i think i may just follow the legal advice to keep my plans hush hush until i'm out!! He's very vengefull-sp? My family is willing to help as much as they can but they all live 4+ hours away!! I'm going to visit them this weekend for a bridal shower and hope to make some plans for them to help me get out!! I've known for a long time to get out...it has just been an eye opener since the surgery how insecure he is becoming and I don't want my kiddos around it anymore! I already have so much damage control to do with them! I"m thinking after I start my new job and get settled next month i'm making my move!! Thanks for your support!!!

I agree...they told me i would be awake when they removed the tube to follow commands and I don't remember how it felt...i have a faint memory of someone saying "swallow" but thats it and it could just be my imagination!!! Trust me...you'll go to sleep and wake up sleeved....i did it twice...first with the sleeve then my emergency surgery after!!!! DON"T CANCEL....it is so worth it!!!

LOL I was required to go to support groups that consisted of pre and post ops at my hospital!! It was an open forum and the first gentlemen to get up and speak was a post op with the sleeve and he hadn't lost all that much weight in my opinion but within a few minutes of answering questions he was describing how to add sauces (high calorie ones at that) to anything to make it "slide" on down...i was appalled and in disbelief that the program i was going through actually forced us to sit through something like that!!! Needless to say, i went to my two required for the insurance and haven't been back since!!! Although part of me wants to go speak and share my success from following the rules!!!!

i hear ya!! I sit with my legs crossed ALL the time now!!! It is such a great feeling!!! GREAT NSV!!!!