PdxMan

I find it amusing you chose this thread and commenting having a great time with it. There are a couple of men and a couple dozen women. Obviously, most men did not feel safe to comment. As has been mentioned, the men, for the most part, are trying to be respectful and not post in The powder Room. Why can this not be reciprocated? If this were a forum I moderated, I would have closed this thread. It can be created over in a public, general forum so all can enjoy. A point that has been lost is when a man has an issue they would like to post and get male responses, do they feel they can do it and feel safe? Not get a response from a female because she feels she has the answer or wants to leave a witty response? Bottom line is all of us can view each other's threads ... that is not the issue ... leaving comments, however, should be left to the gender of the room. Respect each other and yourselves.

I don't visit here that often anymore as these types of exchanges have discouraged me from this site. But I thought I would pop in here with a history lesson. Shortly after the Male/Female rooms were created, there were a few posts in the powder Room regarding breast size post surgery as well as questions regarding drooping labia. A few guys posted with some responses not appreciated by some readers yet others found humorous. Just like this thread, some ladies said it was good to read the male perspective while others lambasted the males as not having a brain as this was obviously a question for females. It was then requested the genders only post in their room. There have been problems with having the posts in the sidebar or when on a mobile device going to the recent posts and not realizing where the post was made, but the problems continued, as they obviously still do regardless of the attempts by the developers to put "safeguards" in place. As I have often posted, it doesn't take too much intelligence to guess when a topic "may" be in one of these rooms. When you read a post about penis size or menstruation post surgery, what are the chances it is posted in a gender specific room? Even it isn't, check if the OP is new and contact and maybe report the post as being better suited in one of these rooms. It is funny how easy it is to slip back into Middle School mode, no matter our current age. Ladies, unless you want men making comments regarding vaginal dryness post surgery (I have lots of information on that) in the Powder Room, please don't add any comments to any posts in the Men's Room. Men, if you are wanting comments from the ladies, make your post in a General forum. If you realize after you have posted to one of these forums, go back and edit your post, removing your comments and apologizing for not noticing the forum. Bottom line, let's use our heads and be respectful of each other. We don't know each other's stories our backgrounds. Don't make assumptions and love yourself and others. As to the OP, @@Proud2BMe echos my experience.

Friends don't let friends wax. They guide them to laser hair removal.

@@caligirltt, the rules are in the top pinned post in each forum: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/250199-attention-ladies-the-man-room-is-for-men-only/ http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/250198-attention-men-the-powder-room-is-for-ladies-only/ It is generally thought if opinions from the opposite gender are desired, then make the post in a more general, appropriate room.

I agree. I am over 4 years out and what I am doing wouldn't be called maintenance. But I do have all kinds of experience.

Hello and welcome. I take Moringa and I have noticed a difference. But it is a different kind of difference ... I know, sounds funny. From what I understand, moringa helps your body to absorb nutrients more efficiently. So, it's not a substance which super-charges your body and makes you more beautiful to 83% of all accountants in Illinois ... But ... I just feel like my body works more efficiently. I use the powder and add it to shakes. It tastes like a$$ if you add too much. Makes you feel like you are a koala bear without the high ... a leaf chewer because that is what it is ... ground leaves from Moringa trees. I blend this with a teaspoon of fish oil, fresh fruit, yogurt and Protein powder. I call Breakfast.

I am the cook in my house as well. When the kids were younger, I would cook multiple meals. But now they are just about out of elementary, I do the same thing as Peach. I cook a nutritionally balanced meal and sit down. If somebody doesn't want to eat it, I point to the fridge. If they are dead set against eating what I made and don't know what to make, I will sit and instruct while I eat. It is their choice. I am not their slave. That type of enabling behavior will carry through to many aspects of our lives, not just the dinner table, and I'm not having any of that.

I just want to echo what @@Alex Brecher said. Identify the source for your need to have their approval. I'm going to guess this has been a consistent part of your relationship with them, or you have seen it modeled for you by other family members. Working with a therapist is a great option to help you with these and many other aspects of your life. Talk to them, not your family on this. I have a hard time calling family members family when they won't love and accept me unconditionally.

After I lost 120, I was told I look 10 years younger from many people. As a matter of fact, nobody told me I looked older, so, not everyone has that experience. Now that I think about it, I can't say I have ever met anyone who has lost a signigicant amount of weight, through WLS or any other way, looks olders. I've always found they look so much healthier, and yes, younger.

While I was still obese, I sought a physical therapist for my painful PF. She recommended ASTYM therapy which is a process where they use special instruments to allow the plantar ligament to somewhat detach from the surrounding tissues allowing it to be the length it needs to be. I had eight weeks of this treatment several months before my surgery. With that, and my weight loss, I haven't experience any PF issues since. Here is a quick article I found regarding the treatment. Also, do your own Google search for ASTYM and Plantar Fasciitis: http://chicagohealthonline.com/stimulating-touch/

I agree about the CBT not addressing the root issues which I needed to get at. I started with CBT and switched over to a therapist who would do more explorative work. She is covered by my insurance and it has been great. You may just have to do a little more searching to find what you need. Just because you start with someone doesn't mean you have to stay with them. Tell the therapist what you are looking for during your phone consultation with them. If CBT is what they do, thank them for their time and ask them to suggest someone who might be able to meet your needs. It has been such an amazing world of discovery for me to see how my life experiences have led me to some of my behaviors and stinkin' thinkin. CBT was too focused on one thing and one behavior. I was aware of the one behavior and consequences, but I wasn't able to see the bigger picture. Don't give up and don't be afraid to peel the next layer of the onion.

@@Joshua Barbour, I can't speak for LSL or anybody else here, but I did not get WLS because of the negative attention, but rather to get healthier. I am a happily married man and she married me when I was morbidly obese. I was (still am) in a high paying position. Perhaps it is just my attitude, but I really couldn't give a rat's ass about other people's insecurities surrounding my size. My doctor wanted to start me on medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol and being pre-diabetic. I was having difficulty staying active with my small children and I had aches and pains which kept me from doing things. I knew I was on a path to an inevitable, sad ending and the ride would be painful all the way. I had to do something, lest I would leave a lovely family behind. As far as people mentioning my weight loss, sure, it happens. Depending on the person and/or environment, I handle the situation accordingly. If the person is being insensitive, I usually respond with, "Yes, thank you for pointing this personal matter out to everyone. Tell me, how is your sensitivity training going?" From which I dice the person's character flaws and put the attention back on them. **** Edit **** I also wanted to add that I do understand your position as I do see discrimination towards morbidly obese people all the time. I also see the pain and embarrassment of those who are. It makes me sad to see how insensitive people can be.

I have found when two people can be absolutely vulnerable to each other, there is a level of intimacy which cannot be attained anywhere else. I'm not talking about physical intimacy (which also is heightened by being vulnerable) but the kind of intimacy where you can truly be you. Truly you. Having a person who knows all your strengths and weaknesses and still can't wait for you to come home. I have been married for over 13 years and have only recently allowed myself to let my guard down and work on being vulnerable. It has been a freeing experience and I love my spouse even more as she has begun to become vulnerable, too.

I'm just doing a quick Google search and finding a few. Did you have your surgery in the Coachella Valley? Contact the facilities performing WLS in the Desert and ask them about WLS support groups. Here is the one at Eisenhower: https://www.emc.org/body.cfm?id=86 Talk to these folks: http://desertregionalbariatrics.com/ Read and post here, too!

Hello LSL, I am also guessing he meant it as a compliment. We men folk often have difficulty presenting compliments. If he meant to demean you, well, he is an a$$h0l3 of unbelievable proportions. Buuuuttt ... as you mention, you are going to have to see him all summer. I know, for myself, that if my ignorance or insensitivity brought duress to someone, I would want to know about it. I suggest the NEXT TIME you see him, pull him and your wit to the side and tell him. "I'm sure you meant it as a compliment the other night, but I was hurt and embarrassed you would bring, what for me, is a personal topic which, for my own reasons, don't need to be shared in public. I would appreciate it if you would allow me to chose who I share this with. Thank you for your understanding." This diffuses the situation and allows you to let go of any resentment. Also, if he gets snarky with you, then you and your wit have acquired a new target and we will all pray he makes it out of the summer alive.

Hello, Next month I will be 4 years post from VSG. I lost around 150 lbs, and am maintaining a net loss of about 125, so I know I do not meet your request of 200+ lbs loss, but I have experienced a lot of what you refer to. Since you used the term, "suicide ideation", I can only assume you are also seeing a therapist/counselor. If not, I would highly recommend this and be totally open and honest about what you are feeling. I know, for myself, it has been life changing to seek mental help. I realized that I used food to fill the gaping hole in my self esteem. But it wasn't just food as I also abused many other substances as I sought to find a way to make myself whole again ... to be that person I wanted to be, but could never attain. I, too, thought WLS would be the answer, but it was merely one piece to a much larger puzzle. My puzzle was a complex rendering of a person who has been shamed most of his life. My self esteem became so low, I began to accept this shame as truth. I would get the "F**K IT" attitude where self destruction was the result. Do you know the song "Hurt", by Nine Inch Nails? I could relate to the opening lyrics too well: I hurt myself today, To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. The only thing that's real. But WLS and losing 150 lbs did not solve my problem. Sure, I did feel better about myself for awhile, but the underlying issues as to why I abused food still were present. That is what I had to work on. I have been seeing a therapist for awhile now and it has been an amazing experience as I discover and vocalize my feelings and attach words to them. When I am able to be open and honest with my therapist, I am able to be open and honest with myself. I treat my therapist (a woman) like they are one of the committee members inside my head. Whatever I am thinking or feeling, I say it out loud. Things I have never and would never say to another human. Right now, we are working on shame, as I mentioned above. I have been reading a lot of material from Brene Brown. Here are some links to her TED talks: http://on.ted.com/Brown2012 https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability Go to your local library and grab one of her many books on disk, if you are not a reader. If you are truly looking to heal, you have to start from the inside, otherwise, we just use our intended solutions to sabotage us further. Good luck and I will keep you in my thoughts.

Just curious if she had a hiatal hernia repair. I did and the "lump in the throat" thing persisted for about 2 weeks.

You just drank it too quickly. You are in a new world now. You cannot eat nor drink at the same pace you used to. This is one of the first things you must learn. Slow down, chew well and take smaller bites. Do this and you'll be fine.

I was 45 when I had VSG. It is never too late. Wish it could have happened sooner, but we all get to our jumping off point when we are ready.

45, almost 46

I am just over 5 months away from 4 years out from VSG, made goal 8 months post op and have been maintaining since. Here is my experience with your concerns: I don't have any restriction and I never did I'm not familiar with this one. I can't imagine anyone who has NEVER had the feeling of restriction. The only thing I can imagine could cause this is the surgeon not stitching tight. For me, I would consider this a remote concern. I used to have restriction but now I don't This one I have heard. I believe it is because after some time, we learn how to "eat around" our sleeve. Restriction can sometimes be sudden and I know for me, I get discouraged when I have a couple BBQ ribs in front of me and after 1, I can't continue. But, if I add some more sauce, maybe a little apple sauce, I can easily eat 3 ribs. We discover slider foods and combinations which allow us to consume more. As CGJ said, when I stick to the plan (follow the rules), I have great restriction. It is when I go off plan that things change. It took a long time to get restriction This is one of those things that will be different for everybody. You aren't going to get your "true" feeling of restriction until several months out after your stomach has completely healed and you are off of Dr restrictions. Some folks think they should be feeling restriction after a few bites of yogurt one month out. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I can eat more with the sleeve than I could with the band I never had the band, but from what I have read, compliance plays a large role. I can eat whatever I want. This is absolutely true for me, which is one of the reasons I choose the sleeve. The only food restrictions I have are those I place on myself in order to stay on the plan, which for me, includes eating nutritionally balanced meals, which is something the sleeve, this forum and my drive to be successful at VSG,

I have been relatively absent from here as I got put on a major project at work, but you should be able to find some of us here: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/303025-or-portland/ I work in downtown, so if you ever want to grab a cup of coffee, PM me. I am three and a half years out from Sleeve. Best decision I ever made.

Three and half years out and I still have them. You (and your spouse) gets used to it.

Hello Dee, What makes you think they would cancel surgery on Monday for drinking Airborne today? It's just Vitamins and electrolytes ... right? Do you have specific instructions not to take such supplements? I would suggest you follow your surgeon's directions as closely as possible and contact them PRIOR to deviating from them. Good luck!

I would have to disagree with FineDiva. This surgery has totally exposed my poor relationship with food. Brought things to light which would have remained in the dark. I now question why I am eating instead of mindlessly putting food in my mouth. Am I eating because I am hungry or am I trying to fill some other void. Usually it is the latter, and if I am honest with myself, I can then further analyze what emptiness I am trying to fill. So yes, for me, this surgery has totally helped with my addiction to food and me getting down to root causes of why I abuse it. Which, in turn, has helped me address issues in my life which truly needed addressing.