Mommy202

Update

I am still waiting for my Doctor to call me. I was out of the office most of yesterday but it doesn't look like he called. On a very positive note, I truly believe I am getting control of the purging. Yesterday I went to a supper meeting and had filet mignon and all the sides. Then I had a piece of desert. It crossed my mind that I could go home after and purge but then I decided to see if I could go home and NOT purge. Even though I felt the usual regrets for having eaten too many calories I controlled the "urge to purge"!!! Yeah me! I'll update once my Doctor finally calles me.

"I ask him JOKINGLY, so do you think i will fit in that slide, cause the slide was pretty small, and he gave me the DIRTIEST look, looked at me up and down my body like i was disgusting, looked at the slide, looked back at me and was like, dunno go ahead."

You question in your post "why me" however, it kind of looks like you set yourself up.....Until you made your size an issue the lifeguard wasn't doing anything but his job. What did you expect him to say?

I feel for you that you were hurt but you have to be careful of how you present yourself. If your weight is not fair game for comment - don't make comments about it yourself.

Sophia248

Thanks for the prayers and positivity. I can always use lots of both. I have not yet heard from my Doctor. I called the clinic again today and left a message. I have come to a certain peace about the matter finally. If the Doctor says it is not good for me then it is not good for me. He is the expert and has to make the decision based on all of the facts.

I have been asking for God's guidance on this decision and hope that the answer from God might come through my surgeon. Either way, life will go on. I just have to keep focussed on the many blessings in my life and remember that every single person in the world has their own trials and tribulations to deal with. In the "great grand scheme of things" being overweight is a far lighter cross to bear than some have.

Well, I might not be getting banded on March 12 after all. On the advice of some of the people on this board and my husband I 'fessed up and told the nurse about being bulimic. She is going to have hte Doctor call me to see if surgery can procceed as planned. If he says no maybe I will take that as a sign it is not meant to be. I have been agonizing over this decision.

I am just so frustrated. I don't want to be a Goddess, or a model or a perfect size 6. I just want to have energy and to feel "normal" not like I am either depriving myself or eating myself into an early grave. I'm scared that I won't be able to do this on my own and that my diabetes is going ot either kill or maim me. I am scared that if I don't do something I am going to keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger.... I am scared that I will spend the money on the band and still not lose and still get bigger and bigger and bigger....

I want to be able to run with my children and ride my horse without feeling that there is some question about who exactly should be wearing the saddle. I want to be able to get on my horse without having to use a stool. I want to have sex with my husband without having to be self conscious about what my fat is doing and what noises it is making.

I want to cry.

Well guys, I fessed up and told the nurse at the clinic about being Bulimic. She said she has to talk to the Doctor and have him call me. She said he may want me to wait to have the surgery until I have "better control"

If I had "control" I wouldn't need to spend $16,000 on the band!

Wish me luck - if it is meant to be it will be....

Thanks sleepyjean. I appreciate your insight.

Thanks Tracey! My date is scheduled for March 12. You indicate that you are an "expert at regaining lbs". Me too. This makes me afraid that the the band will be the same thing. You have been waiting for a long time - do you ever have second thoughts.

One of the things that I was looking forward to after I get my band was not having to obsess over what is or is not going into my mouth. However, I just got my pre-op package and it is ridiculous. They have me putting something into my mouth every 1 - 1 and 1/2 hours. I work full time and am sometimes tied up in situation where I can not eat or drink (ie) arguing in court!

I want to have time to live and no longer obsess about my diet!

Maybe the huge time requirement is only for the first little while - what are your opinions on this.

I posted about another book on a different thread called "the right weigh" I will try to remember to get the author and post it tomorrow. It has meditations, exercises and some really good tips about healthy eating which are directed less at giving us yet another diet to follow and more on helping us to really internalize and put into place the goals and ideal we all have first thing in the morning right before we head to Tim Hortons and forget about them.

I'll try to remember the book tomorrow.

You Rock!...Now give me the dirt...

I too am Canadian. I am not sure how many of us there are on this site. Where did you get your surgery and who was your surgeon? Were you self pay or insurance. HOW WAS IT... the surgery the life, did you ever question your decision, did you at any point gain any weight back?

I need to know!!!! I am set for surgery on March 12 but am having second thoughts. I weigh 202 with a goal of 140. Looking at the diet requirements it seems to me that if I can do the diet I can lose the weight without the band?!?!?! P.S. $16,000 is the cost to me plus about $2,000 for incidentals to get to and stay in Toronto. this is huge money for my family.... DO YOU CREDIT YOUR SUCCESS TO THE BAND or simply hard work.

On the question of energy... I am currently tired almost all the time. I have been to the sleep clinic and been diagnosed as having "excessive daytime sleepiness" they gave me ritalin to perk me up. This is not a good long term solution. Has anyone on this board found that their energy levels went up after being banded and losing some weight?

Stories like this of stalling out and regaining weight scare the crap out of me. I can lose some weight - stall out - and then gain it back - without spending 16,000 on surgery. Also I can probably do without aspirating into my lungs....

I am not yet banded. Can those in this thread ahead of me tell me if they would still do it given the problams they are having?

I bought a book called "The Right Weigh" (I can't recall the author and the book is at home) it was really good and takes a much more holistic approach to issue of eating. It includes meditation and exercises designed to retrain your brain. If anyone is interested I can post the author

Quote "Don't know if any of you are religious but if you are prayer can help"

AMEN to that. I am a firm believer in a higher power and the power of prayer. I think that giving our lives over to that higher power is going to be a crucial step in our success (those of us who believe). This is particularly true when we have eating disorders and are "addicts".

One of the ways that I try to deal with my stress and emotional eating is by trying to keep things in perspective and remembering that God has his hand on all aspects of my life. I have a sign on my printer that reads "I am too blessed too be stressed" the second part of that saying is "and I am too annointed to be disappointed" The Stress part is most relevant to me - I am a lawyer. Also my pastor says that sometimes we eat because we are trying to fill a hunger that only God can fill. I am working on this and trying to have more faith and to give things over to God. However, this is much easier to preach than it is to practice!

I would be interested in hearing what other peoples thoughts are on were God plays in on our issues.

Sophie,

thank-you for replying. It is nice to have someone in the same boat (kind of a misery loves company thing maybe!). I am also a binge and emotional eater. Unfortunately I am also a purger (see bulimia post) and struggle with how that is going to tie in as well. We are very similar in that even our weights are. I see your goal is 155 - how tall are you. My goal is 140 and I am 5'4. In dealing with your issues are you seeing a therapist at all? I am but I do have more issues - the purging.

Keep in touch and hopefully some more March people with check in here as well

I have not had to have any type of psych evaluation or testing. I filled out a questionaire and spoke with my doctor for a telephone consultation. I am seriously considering speaking with the nurse practitioner who assists him about the issue. I know that purging is BAD BAD BAD at the best of times and even worse when banded. My tendency is to think that knowing I risk major and immediate damage if I purge will help me to not do it. Right now all of the dangers are less immediate and more "eventually" or "over time". As well, I find that I tend to eat "mindlessly" right now without even realizing how much I have eaten until it is too late and I feel compelled to get rid of the massive amount of calories I've eaten. The band will, I think, force me to pay attention to what I am putting into my mouth and will force me to fill full after I have eaten a more acceptable amount of food.

I am also definately going to have my counsellor assist me in putting a more healthy "addiction" or crutch into place. I have notice that like many I tend to overeat at night after having a decent day food wise. ONe of the things I am looking at is exercising in the evening and/or making a point of getting out of the house and into the barn where I can do something I love (working with my horses) which is completely incompatible with overeating. Working with the horses is also something my children can participate in which takes away the guilt I feel when I doing things to try and improve my health/weight that take me away from them. Ie) working out at the gym and going to the sauna

I really appreciate all of the input you guys have provided me and look forward to becoming part of the LBT family. Hopefully in time I will be able to provide support and encouragement for others as you have done for me.

Thanks Karen! I know that I have an addictive personality. I think my most recent manifestation is this board! I am mindful of the problem of substituting one addiction for another. I am working with my counselor on the addictions issue.

I wanted to start a thread for those of us who are waiting "with bated breath" for our surgeries in March.

I am supposed to start Optifast on February 26th. I am currently waiting for the shipment, including my surgical package to be delivered. Once I get my package I am supposed to call the clinic.

Ever since committing to this surgery (which I am paying for myself via a personal loan) I have been obsessed with reading everything I can about it and about people who have had it. I am still kind of hoping for some kind of "divine word" about whether or not it is the right thing for me to do.

I am "only" 75 lbs over my ideal weight but am type II diabetic. I am trying to figure out if my reason for doing this is my health or my vanity or a combination of both. The diabetes needs to be gone (when I am 20 lbs lighter it is gone) but I am sure looking forward to losing the weight and actually keeping it off for more than 20 minutes...

I did speak with my counsellor about my upcoming surgery. He did not have any reservations.

Has anyone on this board told their Dr. about being Bulimic before being banded?

I am seeing a counsellor regarding all of my life "issues" including the bulimia. I recognize that the band is not the cure all and intend to continue to work out, see my counsellor, meditate/relaxation exercises and work on my spirituality. the band is the tool that is going to make finally taking control of my eating possible.

When I was doing "herbal magic" i confessed my bulimia too them at a point when I was doing really well controlling it and they kicked me out. I regained the weight that I'd lost and then some. I am not willing to risk telling the surgeon and having the option taken away from me

I have been overweight my entire life. Years ago moderately, lately severely. I have tried every diet under the sun lost and gained ++. Historically, dietting has also included binging and purging to varying degrees of severity. During really bad spells several times a day. During really good times no purging for a couple of months.

When I am not "dietting" I can go for very long periods of time without purging, even if I am overeating.

I have recently committed to being banded on March 12, 2007. My surgeon does not know about my history and there is no way in hell I am telling him and risking him not giving me the surgery. I am tired of being "fat and tired" and I am scared that my diabetes is only going to get worse as I "grow and grow".

Anyways....can anyone provide any insight for me regarding their own struggles with bulimia and being banded. I have been reading a few of the threads and know that purging with the band is a HUGE no no and can be terribly dangerous.