chiquitabananaz14

lol I just realized that [emoji85]I had 2010 in my mind because I created this account in 2010 (brain fart). Thank you for pointing that out for me, now I gotta figure out how to edit my title[emoji848]... May God bless you and keep you[emoji173]️ -Mariela

Thank you! Yes, God is so good and is with us at every step. I am so grateful to know Him and allow Him to lead and guide me. God bless you sister

[emoji1474][emoji1474][emoji1474] great job!

Wonderful!

Rooting for you!

Hello Everyone, So much to say, where to begin? Hmmmmm. Ok, so I had RNY Gastric Bypass surgery back in 2013 when I was topping the scales at 289 at my heaviest. Having been on every diet under the sun by age 16, being approved for WLS was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. At the ripe age of 23, I had the idea that if my weight was under control then my life would be great, my life would have meaning, I would be happy. Growing up hating yourself because of what you look like is so lonely, it's so painful, and a prison that nobody can set you free from. As I have grown and matured over the years since my surgery I have gained a greater understanding of the why behind the what. What was the issue? I was obese, but why was I obese? The why is not addressed when someone signs on the dotted line after being approved for WLS. I am 7 years out of surgery and I had to learn the why through grueling life experiences that ran me face first into, well...ME. I will forever be grateful for the tool that was given to me through my surgery but I have come to realize that if the why isn't dealt with then my tool will be of no use to me. After my surgery I lost 132 pounds from my heaviest weight going from 289 to 157 and I loved it! I was on top of the world fitting into my size 8 jeans and able to wear whatever I desired but soon my life started to spiral downwards. Since I was no longer able to overeat, I substituted that for an unhealthy relationship, drugs and alcohol. To the naked eye my life seemed great because from the outside everything looked wonderful. The reality is that I sold myself a lie when I convinced myself that when I lost weight my life would automatically be great. Don't get me wrong, losing weight is wonderful but in my case it was much deeper then the extra pounds I was carrying. I needed healing from a life long battle of rejection, abandonment and emotional wounds that shedding 132 pounds didn't cure. I maintained my lowest weight of 157 until 2015 along with my out of control pain pill and adderal addiction and emotionally abusive relationship but it all came to a head when I found God (don't tune out if you don't believe as this is my truth and my experience) in January 2015. In surrendering my life to God and with His power, I was given the strength to leave that relationship and leave the drugs behind and thats when the real work began. In the last 2 years I have gained about 50 pounds and have come to realize that I never dealt with the real issues that caused me to almost be 300 pounds in the first place. I am in a really good place in my life right now as God is helping me tackle the root issues of my brokenness that manifests itself in self destructive behaviors like compulsive overeating or substance abuse. Emotionally I am at a place now that I wish I would have been when I had my surgery, in a place that I can appreciate the tool that has been given to me but more importantly having an awareness of what is going on within. I believe that I had to gain this weight to really appreciate not only what I have but knowing that my weight can't make me or break me. I no longer live in fear that I am not good enough like I did for my whole life leading up to WLS. I allow myself to feel and not numb my emotions with outside things which has been a constant in my life. So unlike most stories of feeling like a failure after regaining weight, this is a success story and one that is still being written! I want to document my journey to losing the regain and hope to encourage, inspire and open the dialogue to similar stories like mine. This is life peeps, if we aren't growing, we are dying. I started on Tuesday going on walks and getting back to the basics and am down 5 pounds and my goal is to get to 150. I know I can do this and would love the support from my fellow WLS community. My first time around, I did it alone but i know that there is power in unity and community. Be Blessed family. I have attached a progression picture of me at my heaviest, my lowest and now. -Mari

You will and you can, keep positive and know that you are worth it. Congratulations on your success this far!! Peace and love from San diego -mari

Thanks ladies, I really appreciate your kind words and support! I will keep you all updated on my progress, for sure. -mari

October 5, 2011 I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and can’t turn my brain off, so much has happened in my life since I signed on last. I have wanted to get this procedure done for over 2 years but I was in a toxic marriage that took a lot of sacrifice on my part. I sacrificed my happiness, my health and overall wellbeing in the name of love but what I failed to realize was that was quite the opposite. You should not have to try so hard to make something work, you should never have to sacrifice who and what you are to make someone else happy. After a long 5 year relationship and 3 year marriage, that chapter of my life has come to a close. He cheated. I am left with my 2 year old beautiful daughter, bills, the unknown and all this weight. I am done, I am done living for other people and the only person that I will consider in my decisions is my baby. I want to live, I want to be able to run and play and be the mother I know I can be. I am at the lowest point in my life right now but the cool part about it is that I see the tiny flicker of light at the end of this dark cold tunnel. I have hope, I have dreams, I am going to make them my reality and start living for me. No more sitting on the sidelines of life, I am in the game PUT ME IN COACH is my motto. I look forward to getting support and supporting others in this journey. I thank you for taking time to read and feel me, God will help me through this and I am certain I will make it to the top. -mari PS: I am getting the referral from my doctor again and need to schedule an oppointment for a consultaion with my surgeon soon. I will keep you all posted.

I have a question, first off CONGRATS on the approval!!!! My work is changing to Anthem Blue Cross starting 1/1/2011 and I have been going through this process with Aetna. I know that Aetna requires you to do a 3 month multi diciplinary diet before being considered for approval, does Blue Cross require you to do anyhting pre- surgery? Any information that you can give me will be appreciated. Good luck on your journey! -Mariela

what part of town are you ladies in?

Oregondaisy~ I states that any weight management including weight loss surgery, appetite suppressants etc...even for the morbidly obese and people with co-morbid conditions. So yea I am basically SOL...I don't get why employers exclude that out of their insurance packages, I get that it saves them money but obesity is the number one killer in our country...that should be covered. I'm bummed but I am going to an orientation at kaiser on Monday because I found out my husbands insurance will cover it, I'm just scared because he works construction and when work is slow the benefits get cut off. I hope I can get the ball rolling and I hopefully get the surgery before then. what is your plan since WLS is not covered for you?

hapsterbrat or anyone that know...please help I have a question for you... I just recently got my benefits from my job and they are active as of November 1 and in the Exclusions and Limitations section of the benefit summary it has any weight management or surgery on the list. Does that mean I am totally S.O.L? Because the limitation part is giving me hope at this point. MY BMI is 45 and I definitely qualify but does the fact that it is on the list of Exclusions and Limitations mean that there is no hope to get VSG paid for through my insurance? I have Aetna Value Network ***. Please any help would really be appreciated, the whole insurance world is like a foreign language to me... thanks! -mariela

Everything will work out. Good luck!

Hopefully everything works out for everyone! I look forward to getting into this community and making life long friends.