donali

Here you go!!

Tellie - So sorry about your predicaments. I don't think you CAN wait to get this fixed until your doc gets back. Wishing you all the best, and a speedy recovery. ((hugs))

Penni - My heart breaks for your step-father - I am so glad that you are able to be there for your folks when they need you. Sending all my best wishes and thoughts for your Mom's health. **hugs**

Nancy, it sounds like you have done some really great work, both physically and mentally. How does one get the motivation to do the things we know will help us?? That is a wonderful question. At our top weights, most of us were in crisis. We could not do the normal, everyday activities that our friends and family enjoyed. Just doing the bare minimum of routines was a challenge and chore. For some of us, personal hygiene was even an issue. When you are at a point of crisis, it is much easier to find the motivation to change. Life becomes unbearable to continue along the same path. Once that pressing crisis has been relieved, however, it does seem more difficult to find motivation to continue. I really do think that our attitudes and focus have a lot to do with it, and when we are no longer in crisis about our weight, weightloss as a motivator is not very compelling. Perhaps you could find another, MORE compelling reason to eat healthier more often besides weightloss. Perhaps a goal of a marathon, or a long hiking trip, or something like that can change your focus more towards a healthy lifestyle where continued weightloss is a by-product, instead of a focus. Leatha's dance lessons are a good example. She's out having fun, not focusing on her weight - but I've no doubt the dancing will help her achieve her weightloss goals. And of course, there is always the possibility that deep down somewhere in your subconscious, you ARE at your goal. Is it impossible for you to see yourself happy at your current weight? Do you feel like you're a failure? I feel like you're a success! If I get anymore bright ideas I'll pass them along, but I'm kind of in the same boat as you are - you already have more motivation than I do - you're actually exercising consistently!! I have to accept the fact that for whatever reason, consistent exercise has not been important enough to me to be sure I do it. I am not motivated to exercise. I would like to lose more, but I may not be willing to change enough to do so. But I am still thrilled with myself where I am! And if I STAYED where I am, that wouldn't be such a bad thing. I think about it everyday, and know that my opportunity to change exists for as long as I draw breath... **hugs**

Hi Nancy - I feel your pain, I truly do. Dieting really ISN'T the answer. However, it DOES sound like you do need to change the ratios of the foods you are eating, if you are indeed, as you say, eating around the band. What kind of therapy are you in? Is it specific to eating disorders? Have you spent time analyzing WHY you are choosing some of the foods you think you'd do better to eat less of? Taste, texture, and cravings are all reasons to choose less nutritious foods, but I believe that underlying those "obvious" reasons is usually something more. Because food works on a chemical level in our bodies, it is not surprising that those of us who medicate with food gravitate to certain kinds of food when we are experiencing emotional stressors. The only way to change that gravitation is to substitute something else that gives us the same desired result. If we're eating for entertainment, we need to find something else that entertains us as well as food. If we're eating because we're nervous or upset, we need to find something else to do that is equally soothing. I don't know what kind of work you are doing with your therapist, but I really would suggest that you keep an emotional diary, and list the foods you are eating. See if there is a correllation between types of foods and your emotions. If you can draw any kind of parallels there, try making a list of alternate activities you can try instead of eating for emotional reasons. I don't have a lot of specifics about what you eat on average, or the number of calories you're consuming on average, so this is my best advice on your general question. Please remember that the fact that you are within 10 pounds of your lowest post-band weight is a huge accomplishment, and do not despair or get down on yourself. Look at this like a puzzle, and see if you can figure out which piece is turned upside down. We'll help analyze any way we can! **hugs**

Wow, Alex, you are a saint for hosting this site! I didn't realize it was a part of your own servers. Alexandra, so glad you have a way of contacting him. Please let him know that if at any time in the future he wants to bow out to please let us know - I'm sure we would want to somehow move this site if possible and keep it going with all the current history.

Not my idea - just expounding upon yours! I felt panicked at the thought of this site going dark permanently with no warning, and wanted to have a back-up plan NOW, since Penni is busy... Once Penni is back in the loop, she can figure out a better way for us to regroup if ever needed. Okay, Penni? I just nominated you to Mom us all!

I LOVE these rooms!!! Too, too cool. My grandpa was an artist, and always had a mural of the mountains and a lake painted on one wall. I've always meant to do that myself, but never owned a house until now. I can only imagine how long it would take me to do that project, so I won't even think about it at this time, but LOVE how yours came out!! Whoo hooo! And there is definitely a demand for this sort of thing, if you're up to starting a business. But I think owning your own business can be overrated... It's a lot of hard work, and nothing is guaranteed. Uh, a lot like life, now that I think about it! lol

ROTFLMAO!!! Darcy, Darcy, Darcy... I can hardly wait to find out YOUR stripper name.... lol :devious

Hi Sarah - That's good info to know. Of course, it would be a crying shame to lose the wealth of knowledge contained in all the posts here... Funny how one never thinks of these things until there is some sort of outage... I'm sure my paranoia will fade in a few days... Right????

It's never happened to this site that I'm aware of. I have no idea how Alex has set up the hosting, and since he seems to be unavailable, I'm not sure how we can ensure that this site keeps going, year after year. The Yahoo boards are free, and I don't think those groups require much maintenance if they're unmoderated, but this type of forum is SO much better. But it does usually cost money to buy an address ($35 a year with an initial 2 year commitment) and then you have to have hosting. There are some free hosting sites out there, but I don't know if they give enough memory to host a site like this. So I can only imagine that this endeavor is costing Alex some money, and I don't know what happens if he ever decides he doesn't want to do it anymore, or God forbid something happens to him. Alex? Are you out there?

Hi Vicki! Welcome. That's pretty intense how closely your kids check up on you... lol I don't do well with people trying to run my life, even if they're trying to run it in the direction I want to go... I would not have had the patience to have that back & forth IM conversation! As soon as he started telling me what to do, I would have said, "Gotta run!!! Love ya, BYE!!" lol Keep us posted on how your plans progress!!

I think most of us were going through withdrawals from LBT yesterday. It went down while I was online about 3:30am PST. I just set up a Yahoo! mail account that I thought we could all use in case something did happen to this board - we could go and check the mail at lbtboard@yahoo.com password: weightloss to meet up again. Just a thought, don't know if it will work or not. Otherwise I would imagine we would regroup through www.spotlighthealth.com or one of the Yahoo! bandster groups. I missed you guys!!

Hi Ellen - Sue's a patient of his, and has posted various info about him. You can do searches on geezersue as the member name, and then Rumbaut in the topic. Here's a link she posted the other day: http://www.obesitylapbandsurgery.com/teamdiaz.html in this thread: http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3111&highlight=rumbaut Hope this helps!

Ryan - I'm glad you've taken the time to consider these questions, so you can be at peace with your decision. The truth is, no matter how many bands a doc has done, there are no guarantees - there are so many factors when you're dealing with human beings. All we can go with is the odds. And if we're keeping you propped up, than it's been an easy thing to do - my arms don't feel tired in the least! So keep on leaning, Buddy, and we'll keep on propping... :mad:

Whew! Great news, Chris! Let us know how the biopsy goes, k? **hugs**

Thanks, Neicy! I can certainly see how some training/experience could be extremely helpful... lol More pics scheduled for later today!!

Leatha - I SO love that you are doing this for yourself!! Whoo hooo!! And I really love that you're getting out there and having a wonderful time. It's just going to get better and better!! :mad: :banana

Leatha, that is interesting. I guess I pretty much thought than each individuals response to the band was unique to them, but assumed that response was static - i.e., that person would have the same reaction to that particularly device everytime. It is likely that the placement is not exactly the same, so that could be the reason it feels different. But what a wonderful opportunity you have - getting advice from you now is like getting the advice from TWO bandsters!! :mad:

Hi Lisa - Unfortunately, when a person changes, it very often upsets the balance in their relationships. Weightloss is just one of the many changes a person can go through where this is the case. The fears the people in your life have over your changing is NOT a reflection of who they think you are deep down inside. It is a natural response to change. People in general do not like the status quo to be upset. The reality is, many people who lose a significant amount of weight DO change. Their self-esteem soars, they start really experiencing life, their attitude about THEMSELVES change. They feel empowered, they feel they have a new lease on life. These changes do NOT mean that the relationships they've built automatically fall apart, BUT... sometimes it does happen. You not only have to deal with YOUR new emotions about yourself, but also the emotions of those around you. I recommend that you find a counselor/therapist experienced in this specific arena, and see if your husband will go with you. He may not know what exactly would reassure him that his perfect life is only going to get better, not fall apart. A good counselor/therapist should be able to help him define his fears and set action steps to help him overcome those fears. Hang in there, and be gentle with those you love. As maddening as their reactions are, they DO stem from their love of you, and their fear that somehow that will change. Perhaps in conversations with your husband, instead of focusing on trying to reassure him that his fears are groundless, instead focus on HIM. Show a lot of interest in HIM, and his interests. Tell him and show him how special he is to you. NOT in a "SEE, this is how much I love you, I'm not going anywhere!!!" way, but in a genuine way. Be excited to see him. When he comes home from work, tell him how much you thought of him that day, how you couldn't wait for him to get home so you could give him a kiss and thank him for sharing his life with you. Say things like, "Do you have ANY idea how sexy I find you?" Talk about plans/fantasies/dreams for the two of you in the distant future. Like, "Honey, when we win the lotto, we will go here, we will do this." "Sweetheart, when we're old and retired together, we'll have all the time in the world to travel the country. Just think, we could get a motorhome and visit the kids, and move from warm place to warm place..." Stuff like that - whatever would be believable in your situation. I know that when my boyfriend started talking about things we would do together far off into the future, I suddenly felt much more secure, more loved, more a part of his life FOR REAL. Good luck, and keep us posted!! **hugs**

Congrats, PAM!!! Whoo hooo!!! Hoping all goes well, and that your recovery is quick and uneventful. Tell all when you're up to it!! :mad:

Hi Chris - I did not have my fill removed. I do not recall having any dietary requirements before or after the procedure. I think I didn't eat that day just to make sure there was no junk in my stomach when they did it, but I don't recall being told to not eat. Good luck!

So, Leatha - you're saying that even though I haven't read all those books, just buying them really did help? :mad: It's not that I think there is really anything wrong with me... but at the same time, I guess I feel deep down there's something I'm not quite "getting" about life. I know, an odd dichotomy, but you never know when you're going to come across a piece of information that suddenly makes all the lights in the house come on... lol

Tellie, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I don't have any figures for you, just my gut feeling based on the reading of many boards/posts. It seems to me that the development of reflux after banding is pretty common - particularly after one reaches goal. I haven't read any scientific explanation for this, I just know that many people who have been banded a long time can no longer tolerate the same tightness of fill that got them to where they are. The only solutions I know of are medication, reduction/removal of fills, modification of diet/habits. You may find that something specific you are eating/drinking is contributing to this problem. If you're not interested in having a little fill removed, you may try eliminating these things from your diet for a while, and see if that makes a difference: 1. acidic juices/fruits, like citrus 2. caffeine - coffee, tea, chocolate 3. spicy foods Also, you want to make sure that you are not eating within a couple of hours of when you lie down. You may have to forgo drinking for a couple of hours before you lie down as well. Some people are in the habit of taking medications at night before they go to bed. Switching those meds to the morning has helped some of them. If you already don't partake in the above, then you have to choose between medication/fill reduction or a combination of both. Please keep us posted, and I hope you're feeling better soon!

The framing is "done" (I still need to do some reinforcement, but that can come later), the front door is hung (lockset doesn't quite match up yet - will have to do some tweaking on that), and the siding was started!!! Whhoo hooooo!!! It's starting to look "real". :mad: Mom and I are so proud - we took lots of "TA DA!" pics... lol Bad hair day for me, bad clothes day (I'm doing construction, for gosh sakes!), but putting the pics up anyway: