It is all happening too fast!

Saw MY Dr. on monday, he unfilled me and changed yet again the meds for my reflux. He is going to spain tomorrow, for 3 weeks. Talked him into x rays. Well, today i had them, and my band has moved, a lot, eventhough the barium went through, very slowly, there is a huge amount of stomach above the band. The radiologist made an appointment with another doctor in the clinic, since mine is not going to be in town. She saw me, talked to yet another collegue, and I am scheduled for surgery on tuesday, to fix this. **I** knew the reflux was caused by the band moving, but I was so desperate to believe my Dr. that that wasn't the case. ACK!

Now, here is my list of predicaments.

1) should I call my doctor the day before he flies O/S( that means today) and tell him Im going under the knife with someone else? what if he wants me to wait? I have been sitting up at night for 4 weeks, and the last week, even that doesnt halp at night.

2) I will meet the surgeon at the O.R., she is too busy to meet me any other time, I dont know how I feel about that.

3) We were supposed to visit the in-laws on thursday, but I dont think I want to take a 4 hr drive after surgery. My husband claims he cant lie to his parents, so he will tell them what is going on. Telling my M-I-L will inform the world of my lap band faster than taking an add in the papers. Last time I didnt tell anyone. I dont want to tell anyone, its my life, its my body and my dear Husband better learn how to make excuses! This issue is stressing me as much as the prospect of surgery again.

4) last time, I swore I never ever wanted to go through that surgery again

this lady I saw today said the band slips in less than 10% of the patients..... so why me????

Tellie, I'm so sorry, but I'm glad you pursued this. Your body knew that something was wrong! Do you feel good about this second surgeon repairing your band? Can you get any background info. on her (through the internet, other patients, her office staff) for your peace of mind? As far as telling others, if you don't want to, don't. Tell them it's a hiatal hernia repair and/or reflux. It sounds like you have a pretty bad case of it! I also have a "secret band" and understand your reasons for privacy. If you've been having to sit up for 4 weeks, that is definitely not good! Sending you (((hug))) and prayers for a speedy, uneventful surgery.

Oh Tellie, what a drag!! There's never a convenient time to have health issues, is there? Tell your family something else; if you want to keep your privacy then do it! There's no reason to spill the Beans if you don't want to.

Good luck and best wishes for a quick fix and recovery!!

Tellie,

I so understand your feelings concerning your Doctor. But you have to put your health above being afraid you will insult "him".

I think, and this is just my opinion, that we put Doctors on such a level that we think we owe them something. It is so hard to get past the thought they are not "GOD". If you feel confident with the new surgeon and can find some references about her, then go ahead and let her get your band fixed. Tell the other Doctor when he gets back. You can't wait three weeks. You shouldn't even have to think that you could. And neither should he.

The "why did this happen to me?" there is just no answer to that. Crap happens. You were in tuned with your body enough to know that something wasn't right and you found out what it was and can now get it fixed.

You will feel better after this surgery. You know what to expect. You have been through it before. When all is said and done you will be so glad you had it done.

Your Husband should not feel he has to tell anyone exactly what you are going through if you don't want it told.

If you can't make the trip, then it is just as simple as you aren't feeling well. If you had the flu or something like that would anyone think anything about your not going? If he feels he has to tell them something concerning the surgery or hospital stay, tell them you are having a scope or something. Something vague. It is no one's business. But I know that is easier said.

I am wishing you the best. I am praying for your peace of mind as you have to go through this. Just keep your eye on the prize. It will be all worth it.

This is being said by someone who has not yet been banded,and may not have a clue what I am talking about, but I am wanting to be so bad, that is why I want to support anyone I can.

Hang in there

"This too, shall pass"

vicki in indy

Tellie -

So sorry about your predicaments. I don't think you CAN wait to get this fixed until your doc gets back.

Wishing you all the best, and a speedy recovery.

((hugs))

Everyone already said everything I would have, so I'm going to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and hopefully you will have a speedy recovery.

Betty

Thank you Marie, Alex, Vicki and Donali for your replies and support.

I feel so strangely. LIke 2 people fighting in my head. One calm and rational, thinking " I knew it! I was right!" and angry that my doctor chose to think of me as a hysterical hypocondriac. I know at some level that I can't wait, and I know I don't have to tell if I don't want, and I know what comes next so I should be less scared.

And then, there is Ms. hysterical hypocondriac ( which means my doctor must have been dealing with her and not me all this time and had no choice but to think I was exagerating) wanting to run away and have this magically fixed without going through surgery again, wondering whether I should have the band removed instead, rather than going through this again in the future. I wanted to have another baby next year and now, with this "complication" it just seems that my band and pregnancy dont mix (specially when last time I was throwing up all day every day for 6 months, and a horrible retching attack while changing a diaper moved my band 2 months ago). Then the guilt of "lying". I read Gail's post and thought "she shouldn't feel guilty! She doesnt have to tell!" But now, after avoiding lying the first time, I get to go through this again! and instead of just dissappearing for a few weeks, i will have to avoid and tell them im having the reflux fixed, which is true, if not the whole truth. I am working on my husband, explaining that if he sticks to " fixing the reflux" its not actually a lie. But his mother is so nosy!

Called the Dr. and told him what happened. He sounded a bit annoyed, but said he highly recomends this surgeon, so I guess thats a good thing. Talking to him, I felt like a child, terrified of dissappointing a parent. I have serious issues!

Thank you all. Sorry I made it so long!

Tellie

Thank you Betty. I appreciate it.

I'm dealing with the same kinds of feelings. I can't understand why doctors can't just order the darn xrays if a patient wants to check things out! It seems like we are left to "figure out" our bands on our own and not given the tools to do so. Thank goodness for the support boards that help us get through it all.

Good luck with your repair. Talk to your MIL yourself and tell her you're so sorry you can't come, but.... Then your husband is off the hook to some extent. There is no reason for him to relay your personal medical information. He can just ask his mother to talk to you about it.

Tellie, I am so sorry, too, that you are going through this.

Your original surgeon sounds like a bit of a jerk, if you ask me. I can understand feeling uneasy about the new surgeon. You can go to the American Society of Bariatric Surgeons website to see if she is a member. If so, this at least means she has done a minimum amount of bariatric surgeries and feels strongly enough about it to have sought membership. You can also go to ObesityHelp.com to see if there is anyone there who has used your surgeon and what their comments are. It's been a while since I've been to that site, but the last time I looked they had a feature where you could look up all the comments about your particular surgeon. Does your new surgeon have access to your patient chart (are she and your first surgeon in the same practice?) She should at least know your medical history.

I think the advice about your husband telling his mother to talk to you about your medical problems is good. Hopefully, he will be able to go along with that.

I definitely understand your reluctance to have surgery again and I'm sorry you have to. Of course you are the only one who can decide whether having the band is worth it to you. I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.

Nancy

Hi Tellie,

Sorry about your troubles as well. That does stink. I know you'll feel better when your all fixed and healed though. Life is tough sometimes and we just have to learn how to cope with it. I'll be thinking about you, Teresa

Tellie, they say everything happens for a reason. Maybe you can switch your aftercare to this new surgeon. Hopefully, you'll like her much better than the other twerp.

These doctors are not GOD, no matter how much they might think so. They have to pay their light bill, just like we do Their patients are the reason they are able to live the lifestyle that they've become accustomed to.

Please take care of yourself and don't put this off. We'll be rooting for you!

Tellie, Best wishes for a quick and easy recovery. I'll keep you in my prayers. Keep us posted as things develop, and try not to worry too much.

Tellie,

I am so sorry to hear this, although, I was very concerned that this would be your findings. It sounds very much like my 'slippage'. Did your doctor say this other person would have to re-do the surgery or is this someone you chose?

It's possible with slippage, to be unfilled (which I believe you are) and to let it sit for a few weeks, to see if it will 'right' itself. Do they think there is no chance of this or are your symptoms so severe that this is not an option?

It is a tough thing to do, to be re-banded, however, I just could not see myself without the band or going back upwards in my weight. I said absolutely, I wanted it replaced. It's a risk, but no more of a risk than it ever was that it could happen again. My only hope is that I can at least make it to goal without any further complications. Then, at least I'll have a starting place and possibly more re-inforced eating habits.

I've known several people who were able to just let their rest for few weeks and things went back where they should be. Mine did slip back down, but it never went completely back, which is why I was rebanded. Certainly, if you are having pain and unable to eat or drink, that would be a more urgent issue. Please keep us posted as to what develops. Again, I am so terribly sorry. But, just think, even this is so minor compared to RNY complications.

Good luck to you!

Thank you again, everyone, I really don't know how I would cope without your support and insight and help and advice....

Daylight always makes things better, I dont know why. Last night I was feeling a bit overwhealmed... but I want my band! I am scared.... i feel like I failed, not an exam, but a whole subject...

Rebecca, that's exactly what I will do. He should just let me handle this and answer everything with a yes, no, or i dont know.

As for the reasons for not telling, they just keep getting reinforced. The 1 person who knows besides my husband, the friend who looked after my daughter last year while I was in hospital, her comment when I told her was: "well, maybe you will finally learn to do things right and stop eating, you have to adapt to that thing, instead of ruining it in order to keep eating!" argh! Its my fault for telling her, and what she is describing, is the first 4 months, before my fill, when I could eat like a normal person ( still, half of what i ate b4 band). I feel bad enough without this 80 pound woman telling me off! argh, and argh again.

My surgeon is brilliant, and used to be very nice, until I started telling him what I thought had happened, i guess it is an inconvenience to him... I am.

about the new doc, I am in australia, so I googled her, but did not find much. I know my GP sent her my latest bloodwork, and she should have received the x rays today. And thats all the info she will have on me. More than I know of her I suppose.

Actually it was sort of a coincidence that I got her, everyone else at the bariatric centre is away next week! But my doctor had told me on monday, when he doubled the dose of my meds, to see her if I had any trouble while he is away. He recomends her highly. I dont think there is a chance of things settling on their own. 2-3 months ago, when I had the infamous diaper incident, I was unfilled after i started with the reflux, and it got better, until my next fill when things started to get worse little by little. Now it's terrible and i am empty!

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers, I really appreciate it and need good vibes!

cheers

tellie

"well, maybe you will finally learn to do things right and stop eating, you have to adapt to that thing, instead of ruining it in order to keep eating!"

Tellie, some people just don't say the right things.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

You're going to do great. Chin up, girl - this will be over before you know it, and you'll be back in the saddle again!