feedyoureye

Yesterday my doggie was so out of it, I thought for sure I would have to have her put down. So sad. A little better today. She has some kind injury to her front arm... probably fell off the couch.... is now blind, deaf and is having trouble standing on the slipery floor... her legs just spread while she eats or stands still.... I am putting down rugs to give her traction, and night lights to give her an idea where she is in the dark... yesterday she was so tired when i carried her out to pee, she just layed down in place... then wobbled up and could barely stand. She is 16, and i know shes not long for this world... but trying to figure out when I need to help her along is so painfull. After that I just ate a big chunk of chocolate... went right for it... eating my emotions.... and when Im doing it, I really dont care. Im just trying to write it all down... I usuallyeat around 12-1400 a day... yesterday was 1900. Fasting today, so far so good, but its not over till its over.

Dee, I had gained 22 before the big 5:2 where I lost it and a bit more.... Starting around June of last year (9 months ago) I started gaining again... high stress, mom sick and then dying.... job going wonky.... so I blame stress... started 5:2 again, and its just not working the same way as before... In all honesty, I am working out a little less... not as many imprompty hikes bird watching.... eating more suger snacks and bread things... I wandered off the myfitnesspal at first, then got back on after i could see the gain... at this point I am up 12 pounds from the top of my goal bounce range... add 3 more for my lowest. 15...BIG SAD FACE. I prefer to be where I was, but don't feel like a giant cow or anything... but have the old fear, the one where I don't feel like I have any control over losing.... and very little over gaining. Use myfitnesspal to see what Im doing... fast at least once a week.... go to dance class..... but walking class is sporadic... bird watching field trips are down... stress is still up.... lots of chances to eat out, drink more wine too the last few weeks while my hubby has been out of town.... love the "shame-spiral collection" I had to buy new pants because the others were forming an inner tube effect- not pretty.... If I continue to gain 12 pounds a year, Im in deep sh*t in no time. The doctor really wants me to lose 5... good luck! Cathy and other Eurpean sisters... happy moms day! Sheryl..... I love urban geeks with a manly twist!..... best of luck with that!

Yes it is Cathy, thanks for asking! over 75 pieces of art.... biggest show in around 10 year...

Just get back on track. drink your water, protein first, lower carbs a little, write it down if you have lost "control" The protein first trick helps with the feeling of restriction. Some find a little fast over night and the morning helps the tummy feel smaller at the lunch/or dinner meal.

I have a 38, and glad, as smaller may lead to more problems. Like Cowgirl said, effort becomes more important as time goes by.

morning all! I have been a little absent, getting ready for a big show... over 75 pieces done over the last 30 years. I AM OLD... but not dead yet! The show looks fab. I will post a pic. You are so right! My doc keeps hounding me to lose 5-10 pounds, but really, I feel so successfull... even with the weight gain. It is so true, we have beaten the odds, all of us. SO FAR... aways vigelent.... It makes me SO happy to hear such an upbeat and positive post from you! Keep up the good work, and a prescription for massage! Genious! Iceland!!!! Lucky dog. I hope to do more traveling in the future. Its been toooo long. Craig is still in New Zealand, and will stop in Kona for a week on the way back. Good news from the Doc! This must ease your mind after all the problems you had with the trainor...

Denise, good to hear from you, hope you have good news when you meet with the infection expert.

Im no expert but looks good to me! How much?

As a vegetarian, its really hard for me to get in my protein not go over the cals, Im low a lot... I use: Explore Asian Organic Soybean Spaghetti and their other black bean or mung bean versions... around 24gms of protein in a serving... around 200 cals, and low carb(19). Cottage cheese is a go to.... I use ESA carb control ready mix drink in my coffee and tea.... DO write everything in MFP... even the day before, plan your next day, I find this helps me stick to it... I also use the 5:2 to help maintain... it is really hard for me to maintain as well.. if I gain, it takes a lot longer to lose it than early on. Chin up, fight the good fight! You are not alone. http://www3.netrition.com/explore_asian_mung_bean_fettuchini.html

I find I have to walk around 5 miles to make 10,000 steps... I NEVER get in that many, am lucky to make 7,000 on a really good day It still helps though, I really don't know how people do it! ( guess if you walk to work or something...)

Sheryl, had that a month ago... and I had the flu shot....felt like crap for a week, then still had to take it easy... like you, had a day where I felt good and was ready to getup and go... then the energy got up and went! Don't rush it.... I was sooooo bored... slept on the couch so the hubby wouldnt get it. Bad flu and bad colds going around here too.

Hot!!! I am enjoying the compliments that I get after losing weight, I don't get the impression that the people saying them are being rude or shallow, its ment as a compliment, so I will take it that way. I get "Fantastic" "Hot" and "Stunning", and even though I know that it is all relative, at 61 Its nice to know it can still happen!

I would advise sticking with your surgeons plan. I know its hard but you are using food as mdeicine right now....to help you heal. If you can't stick with a plan, then it will make it harder to stick with it later when you can eat anything, and the temptation is strong. Find something to distract you that is not food... it will get better soon. I swear, at some time sooner than you think, you will be able to eat anything.

I am sure that different peoples surgery heals at different rates... there is swelling that makes it harder to get food in...when the swelling goes down, we can eat more...and liquids will open up the pyloris and let food out quicker... (why we dont drink with meals) Sliders seem to go down quickly and leave us hungry too. I can eat around 3 cups of soup... (I really have to count the calories) but some days an egg will fill me up. I am at 4 years, and can eat more than I did at a year... I can eat anything, and if I don't list in Myfitnesspal everyday... can easily go over my limit and gain. I try to eat protein first but as a vegetarian, that might be grains or something that might not fill me up as quickly as a piece of meat... and use veggies to fillup the void if needed (almost always). Its a balancing act. I still need to fast a day or two a week to really keep the weight off or get it off if up.

If you live long enough, you are bound to see a loved one pass away... I still think about my mom every day, and talk to here now and then. I lost the person I thought of as Mom first to a sudden blader infection that went to her brain... she did recover from that... then had a series of mini-strokes, and then the slow onset of dementia.... ending with a larger stroke... I do believe she was still there at the end, to some degree... you know how they say that people become clear right before they pass away? My mom couldn't talk, but came around and held my hands, and looked deeply into my eyes and really made a connection with me the day before she passed. It was really lovely to have that. I talked to her a lot, and the whole family did as well, and lavished love and compliments and the promise that we would all be ok and she could leave and not feel sad or afraid. I told her a story about how all the love she gave us throughout our lives would come back to her and fill her with light, and she would be able to feel and give that love again. My mom was religious, and my dad not at all... but he kept telling her that she was going to be an angel and she need to keep an eye on him because she was his angel. It was really sweet and rich, and of course so sad... but saying goodby was sweet none the less. I hope Im not bumming you guys out by talking about this... its just we do understand... it is a big and difficult part of life caring for and watching our loved ones suffer, change, fade away from who they were.. but also so important to engage in as well as we can. Caring and generosity are only really gained from practice.

Wow! What a boost! I don't care how "mature" I get, I still like getting a little flirting coming my way. Its like some of the lights go on in the house that have been off for too long! So sorry to hear about your mum. All the best to you and her. Dementia is a bitch! My memory has never been that great, even with dememtia, my mom had better long term memory than I! Not a good sign! Sarah, so glad you are caught up and have shared this part of you life with us. What a drama life can be! The story about the FIL and BIL really is sad... denile is not going to get the job done... best of luck with family services... even Adult Protective Services might need a call if she is in the wrong place at this time in her life. Is she the hoarder or is he? I have a drop of it myself, and my next door neighbor has gone over the edge years ago... Her whole house, 800sf studio and yard are packed with sh*t. How overwhelming! I hope you can find the help you need to get through this... you need to take care of yourself first. Im glad your side of the family are working together. You will get through this, and don't forget, we are here for you emotionaly, even if for just a little chat and sharing when you have the time.

Looking great! Love the Big Pants photos!

I have two words for you... HOUR GLASS. Ladies work long and hard to get that shape, and so you did. You look great. I too do the "am I fat" talk with myself... I am up a size and feel different... but really, I look good. I feel good. I do tons of stuff now with a lot more ease than before. Is it perfect? No, but really... I am so ahead of the game in some ways... I had better enjoy it while the sun shines! Gratitude to you all, and for the amaizing life I have, zits and all!

Denise, Im SO happy you are finally getting the real care that you need... So sorry you have to take meds for + weeks... what a drag, but feeling better will be worth it in the end. Thinking of you, and so glad you are "one of the girls" here too. Maybe on day we can all meet up... that would be a hoot! So glad to see you sarah... I know how it can go, time goes by and you have lost track of the thread, and you are 50 pages behind! Just say hi now and then, we are thinking of you and if you need a break, here we are. Now that sounds like a blast! Getting out of your comfort zone now and then is good for the soul. Salsa is HOT and such fun to watch... I would love to do that too!

Wow... I just typed a long response and hit the wrong key and POOF! Anyway long story short, I read your post that you were off horseback riding, and read the meaning as you were OFF of riding horses (not on).... which would be a big change for you! ....

Denise! I am so sorry your body is having to go though this. I like the idea of healing visulaizations and taking some really good care of yourself. Wow, Sheryl, sounds like some life changes right now. It can be a hard line between leting things develope as they wil, and taking control and direction.

I still take Ostio biflex once a day.. it has made a dif on my knee. Also the old ice and tylanol help too. This is the one... sometime on sale at RiteAid.... http://www.vitacost.com/osteo-biflex-one-per-day-glucosamine-hci-and-vitamin-d3

So sorry to hear your infection is still there.... time to get serious for sure.... and please do not worry about your weight.... put it 2nd in line after your health... Im sure you look great! Sheryl, I hear you about the meeting... its like a bunch of babies without a clue about the future..... and that gal with the band.... really, you were there for each other... that connection is the reason that meeting was worth going to. I went to one meeting early on, after I was pretty much at goal... I was the only sleeve.... all rny and bands... no one could relate. I am on a bird watching field trip right now... so much fun... saw my first bald eagle.... so cool. Take care all!

Amazeing Erp!

I use ready mixed ESA carb control from Target, both the vanilla and the chocolate are good in coffee (not tooo hot) or iced coffee.