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merred

LAP-BAND Patients
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Blog Entries posted by merred

  1. merred

    Are We There Yet?

    By merred,

    After losing 20lbs in the last 4 weeks I feel amazing, but honestly who am I kidding? I’m ready to be at my destination, pass go, collect $200, spend it on a bikini! Seriously, I’m just beginning the mushie stage and it’s not that much different than full liquids. And then half the time I’m stressed about if I’m causing damage to myself by eating! Was that a lump? Chew, chew, chew until your teeth fall out!!
     
    For those of you who have lost so much weight, I commend you! You are the Gods of this site. You know the ins and outs of this crazy journey. I can’t wait until I’m one of those people who is like “it goes by so fast, you totally forget about it. It’s no big deal.” Well, I’m here now and this experience is burning holes in my memory.
     
    The weight loss is awesome, but when you’re in the newbie stage there’s so many foreign pains and weird things happening to your body (like being a teenager). And the worst part is, you don’t have your best friends (pizza and pop tarts) holding your hand. It’s like someone dropped me off in the middle of nowhere and I’m not sure how to get home. So many of you out there have the map and are sure of the course, but I’ve lost my GPS and just hoping I find the way.
     
    As I was writing this, I took a drink before waiting the allotted one hour after eating. Now I’m worried my stomach might explode because I messed up again! The humanity!!
     
     
  2. merred
    It’s that time!!! I’m finally graduating from bottles to Gerbers tomorrow. I’m actually waiting until tomorrow for my first trip to the grocery store as I don’t want to tempt myself too much. I’m thinking mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, sloppy Joe with no bun, yogurt, pudding, cream of wheat, tuna with soft avocado and a Ricotta cheese baked dish (there’s a yummy looking recipe somewhere in the forums). Not all in one day, of course!
     
    I can’t believe I made it this far. I literally thought, what the French did I do when I came home from the hospital and now it’s like ok, what’s the next step? This is definitely a journey like no other in my life. I’ve been reading the forums and seeing how people felt just like me after surgery. Regret, pain, anxiety about losing my favorite foods, just to name a few feelings. The bottom line is, we’re here. Decision made. We can’t go back, I mean we can, but then our insurance companies would have a fit and dump us. There are only the possibilities of tomorrow so I need to let any regrets go.
     
    I’m a bit nervous about eating for the first time. Will there be new pain?
     
    All mushie ideas and recipes welcome!!
     
     
  3. merred
    I’m on day 10 and I’m starting to feel like I’m on “Survivor” – please vote me off the island! At least they get rice and beans between challenges. This liquid diet is a killer. Week one was great because the weight was pouring off, now I feel like I have to diet on my diet just to take off more weight. I know I shouldn’t be stressed as it adds more stress to be stressed.
     
    All I can think about is food right now. And is it just me, or is food everywhere you look? Work is impossible. Even watching my favorite shows has lost its lackluster without a good meal. Walking and drinking, walking and drinking… I’m a lap band zombie!
     
    On my way to work this morning, I saw a woman with a McDonalds bag (I don’t even really like McDonalds) and I was ready to hop out of my car and jump her for her Egg McMuffin! The Cadburry bunny has become number one on my hit list. I’m ready to shoot a cute little bunny carrying chocolate. That is what it has come to.
     
    So “mushies” begin on Saturday, which is going to be more exciting than Christmas! I can’t get ahead of myself since it is only Monday. Any mushie suggestions would be amazing.
     
    Oh guess what? Time for a walk and a shake!
     
     
  4. merred
    I decided to get a lap band after one of my dear friends had it done and told me it was the best decision of his life! Six months later, he still felt that way even though going out to dinner with him was an unusual experience. Mexican for him consisted of two margaritas and spoonfuls of guacamole sans chips! He kept telling me how amazing it was and you don't even feel it. So after lots of deliberation, I found a wonderful surgeon and started the process... and what a process that was. My psych evaluation had some of the strangest questions ever and had I answered yes to any of them forget the lap band, send me straight to the nut house. But luckily I passed and my insurance cleared me for take-off. In my mind, I'd wake up to a krispy kream donut, eat one bite and be on my way home.
     
    It was definitely a rude awakening and felt a little like the movie "Death Becomes Her" after Meryl Streep has taken the potion, and Isabella Rossellini says “and now a warning…” Suddenly, I feel like I’ve woken up after being caught in a dark alley and I’ve been beaten in the stomach and can only drink liquids for the next year of my life (ok, it’s only two weeks, but it’s like a year in foodie years). It had been explained to me that this is what it would be like, but my brain was obviously in denial.
     
     
     
     
    I’m officially 7 days in and can’t believe I made it this far! For the first few days I was nervous about what I’d gotten myself into (who am I kidding, I still kinda feel that way), but am also excited about being reborn (to the food world anyway). I’m on the other side and it feels good, but scary. I feel like I’m going through this alone even though my husband has been amazing (but I still hate him when he’s eating in the other room). The pains are foreign to me, but are subsiding every day -- the weird tremors, the hiccups, itchy sutures, catching my breath and feeling like a water balloon half full.
     
     
     
    I see other people’s blogs who have the surgery and return to their normal lives by Monday… these are super people. I am not a super person. And as much as I would like to return to my donut/pizza/candy eating ways there is a gravity of responsibility that comes with this gift. I realize that I can’t just eat guacamole by the spoonful. I need to be mindful of my relationship with food and re-evaluate it. And there’s the deep fried thought for Friday!
     
     
  5. merred
    So, Friday is it! Back to solid foods! These mushies are ridiculous. To find anything good and sensible in a mush, you have to be on Top Chef Masters. I have spent the last 2 weeks eating pureed soup (gross), ricotta bake (this is a must) and mashed potatoes. And my doctor keeps trying to get me to eat meat out of a can… meat out of a can! I'm not a cat!! I mean tuna is ok every once in a while, but not every day or you turn into Jeremy Piven and can't go to work due to mercury poisoning.
     
    Let's move on to the hiccups. I hiccup twice when I'm hungry and once when I'm full. Insane. I hiccupped walking down the booze aisle (which was also the bottled water aisle) at the market and this guy looked at me and I just shrugged and said, "I should really stop drinking during the day." How else am I going to explain these random hiccups? People are going to start thinking I'm a high functioning alcoholic!
     
    Now on to the nitty gritty. The weird slime that creeps up every once in a while. I haven't gotten anything stuck nor have I had any pain. It's just this weird little bits of slime I have to spit out (I'm not a spitter by nature, in fact it horrifies me).
     
    All that said, I'm looking forward to vegetables and salads again. It's been so long, I actually miss them. Just more lap band insanity.
     
    See you all on the other side!
     
    p.s. dirty little secret, during the mushie stage I ate frosting out of a can. Shame on me. But it was gooooood :-)

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