lavonwarrior

BTW, have I mentioned how much I love this thread! So inspiring! Keep it up people... I will also be a "skinny bitch" soon. It will be nice to add the adjective to my nick name! :thumbup: LOL!

BTW, have I mentioned how much I love this thread! So inspiring! Keep it up people... I will also be a "skinny bitch" soon. It will be nice to add the adjective to my nick name! :thumbup: LOL!

I have some of the same emotions that you are going through. I became addicted to apples in the 7th grade, was a smoker by 8th grade, have been on and off various drugs, and finally when I got myself together and quit everything except cigarettes on 9/9/99, I turned my addiction to food in general. It got really bad when I quit smoking 12/17/2003. I finally figured out what it was about four years ago. I was surfing the web eating what was once a family size bag of Doritos and came across a WeightWatchers ad. I "thought" that I might try it because at that time I was 226 lbs. That thought led to anxiety and although I had already eaten most of the bag of Doritos, I felt starving. That was the moment that I knew I had transferred my addiction.
12 step programs are not my thing but they work for some. What has worked for me is the knowledge that I will always be a food addict or an addict of something. I just need to try to get addicted to something beneficial to me or someone else. Now the question is what...
Counseling has helped me alot. I have found that seeing a LCSW rather than a Psychiatrist or Psychologist is more beneficial. They seem to be more interested in helping you rather than pushing this product or that med or this book, etc. But the key is finding someone you can connect with. It is very hard to do.
I can tell you with authority that beating yourself up and being down on yourself will only make things worse. You need to try to wake up one morning and just do the following:
1. Go immediately to the mirror and proclaim as loud as you can, "I AM BEAUTIFUL! I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO! I AM STRONG!" (or something to that effect. You will feel a little silly at first but then you will believe it.
2. Let yourself cry and mourn the loss of the person you use to be pre-surgery. Sounds silly I know, but you divorced the pre-surgery person when you had most of your stomach removed. If you have not let go of the old you, your new you cannot shine through.
3. If you know that you are going to crave something, don't allow it in your house (or at least not in an area of the house that you occupy). I have a teenage son who is 5'11" and all of 125lbs soaking wet. He has to keep his high calorie stuff in his room so that I do not have to see it.
4. You did this for you.
I don't have all the answers and Lord knows I have my moments, but we all have to realize that they are just that, moments. They do not define us.
I hope that this helps!
Shae