Dibley Dawn

I was just over 10 pounds at birth, and it kept going up from there. i was put on a diet before kindergarden and another one in 3rd grade....i have dieted ever since! at age 27 I decided to stop dieting altogether and I just went on an "eat everything in sight" binge for about a decade. i gained only 30 pounds from that which i am thankful for. I have never known what it is like to be thin or skinny. I am in a size 16/18 for the first time since probably 5th grade when a size 16 was considered husky. i feel brilliant in my size 18, though i know i'm not thin. for the first time in my life i know what it is like to mentally feel kinda skinny....or what i think it must be like.

Jim, you are correct. My apologies for delving off into a debate. the OP asked if anyone can relate to her situation and I can relate.

.......and at the same time, i do recognize that it must be frustrating for you skinny people out there when us heftier people can lose 10 pounds by basically bending over or sneezing and it takes you 3 or 4 weeks to get that same 10 pounds off. :ph34r:

i didn't feel my port flip, but one day i woke up in a lot of pain, so i knew something had happened. it may have flipped long before i felt it. i had my revision surgery about a month ago and now i'm getting back on track with everything else. i sure hope they secured that sucker this time. i don't want to go through that again.

i do not disagree with this statement at all. i can never know someone else's reasons and they can never really know mine. mine were probably 98% vanity though if i'm honest. i had no co-morbidities at all, no diabetes, no pain, no high blood pressure, no anything. it was just the fat and i was tired of trying to dress it and carry it through small spaces i knew my statement might upset a few, but I really wanted to answer the OP's statement of because I can relate to that. it IS irritating that someone has the surgery, puts their little ticker up that says "40 pounds to lose" and they reach their goal in 4 months, then post "after 4 months, I made it to goal. I lost 40 pounds". it doesn't matter what their reasons are...i'm glad they are at goal and all, but I cannot relate to them. I just can't. I have a huge hill in front of me...years before I get to the goal on the doctor's chart if i get there, and I can relate to the op. That's all I was really trying to say. I don't want to belittle anyone else's efforts or say they didn't need this surgery when I don't know all of the reasons behind it. I want to support everyone else's triumphs, and i'm glad this place exists for that reason...we can all cheer each other on and support each other. . But if some of us who had not just 100,but literally hundreds of pounds to lose were totally honest, we would say we can't relate to you skinny people who start your journey at 225 and even though we can't compare our journey to yours, it is indeed frustrating at times. That's just me being honest and my .02

i was just under 400 when i started so I know exactly where you are coming from and how (sorry if this makes someone mad, but....) how annoying it is for people to weigh something like 210 and be having this surgery so they can lose what I consider to be a vanity 30 pounds. i would never have had this surgery for 30 pounds, ever. 210 is still pretty much a far off dream, and I would love to be that weight. maybe one day i'll get there, maybe i won't, but I am so much happier than i was a year ago and i weigh more than 250! if i stay here, i'm fine with that. i think i look great, i know i feel great, and it has been fun buying new clothes in a new size range. for the first time in i don't even know how long i can wear an 18... in some clothes I can get into a 16 ....& an XL instead of an XXXL feels pretty great too. I know that for us that are heavier, the road seems longer, but i feel like by having so much further to go, we are somehow a little stronger for it if we can continue to move forward over the long haul and not be discouraged because someone else has a shorter journey. We can do this too! i know others will be upset that i have basically said that people who weigh just over 200 should not have this surgery, but your journey is your own, and if you are one of those people and ok with it, then so be it. Right now, my goal weight is to be around 225. I would be 100% happy to be there.

Well, I am a perfect eater ....a perfectly normal eater, and as such, from time to time i eat things that aren't 100% healthy. electronicart, I LOVE what you said "as long as I'm losing and living". i feel that way. I can't and won't give up foods that I absolutely love. That is not living to me. I still want to be able to enjoy the good things from time to time. The band has helped me with not eating and eating and eating bad foods ALL of the time (which is pretty much what i did pre-band. I do eat healthy things, I do try my best to do things that are higher in Protein first, but it doesn't always work out that way. I don't weigh or measure my food and I don't log my food. To me, that makes this process seem much more like a diet, and in my past, diets have failed. What has changed is that I eat much less volume wise than I did before, I try to make better choices and on the days that I do "mess up" I don't beat myself up over it. I move on. I always giggle to myself when I see new people say stuff like "i'm saying goodbye to junk food forever! I didn't get the band to continue to eat bad foods". The band won't stop you from eating bad foods, so you still have to make the choice yourself. I allow myself 1 day a week to eat something that isn't necessarily the best for me nutrition-wise. usually that day is spent eating out in a restaurant with friends or my hubby. I have chocolate every single day. yes, after dinner, i microwave a 90 calorie Fiber brownie and i eat that sucker up! it gives me fiber, gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day, and keeps my chocolate monster at bay. so, i guess i'm not a perfect eater, but i eat perfectly for me. i don't want to live a life of "i can't ever eat xxx food again" but I do want to live a life of "i can eat xxx food, and I will eat less of it and be satisfied with that.

I sing with a choir and we had gone on tour. We spent many long hours on the tour bus and it was so difficult for me to get into and out of the bathroom that it made me kind of think "gee, i've gained a little bit of weight"....but it wasn't until I saw the pictures from the tour that I realized just how large I was. I have never liked the camera, probably because of the fat, but when I saw what I really looked like I almost died of embarrassment. We got back into town from the tour in mid January and I immediately booked a seminar to see what my options were.

I actually didn't feel it flip or anything. I woke up one morning in pain. it almost felt like I had pulled a muscle. A couple of days later, the pain was too much for me and I went in to see the doctor. He put the needle in as if he were going to give me a fill and it scraped the back of the port. that's how he knew it had flipped. they had done an MRI and it didn't even show anything. anyway, the procedure to flip it back over was very quick. but the healing process was worse for me than my original surgery. I am just now able to get back to regular activity and the procedure was about 4 weeks ago.

Congrats on what you have done so far. I am just over 1 year out (1 year, 1 month, actually) and I too am down 100 pounds. I had a minor, minor setback with my port that flipped, but starting on Monday I can get back to my regular activity. My loss has stalled since I haven't been able to exercise, but I haven't gained anything, so that's good. What has changed? A whole heck of a lot, that's what. I have almost endless amounts of energy I don't get winded taking the subway stairs, I can walk and walk and walk and not tire out, I have dropped around 10 sizes and for the first time since being a teenager many, MANY moons ago, I have been able to shop in the women's department and not in plus sizes only. I can fit in airline seats, I no longer need a seat belt extender, i can paint my toenails, I can wrap a towel around my body and it will close, I can eat normal portions and not 2 or 3 servings. I am satisfied after I eat and I don't have to go and search for food. All this, and probably some things I haven't even thought of have changed in just one year....and NO fills. ...also, editing to add that I still burp, but i pass gas much, much less. I used to pass gas every time I rolled over in bed or tried to bend over. I no longer do that. My DH is the one who pointed out to me that I no longer do that. I had no idea

Well, I hope this won't get me flamed, but.......yes, carbonated drinks are in general just not extremely good for you....BUT....anything in moderation is ok. I stopped drinking cokes about 2 years ago, not for my weight but just because they made me feel so sluggish...however...in the past year, I have had soda every once in a blue moon and have had no problems. sometimes, i just crave a swig of 7 up or dr pepper or root beer. when i crave it, i taste it and then i'm done. i am the same with food. I actually don't have a lot of cravings since being banded, but if i am craving something, i allow myself to have it, at least a bite or two of it. then the craving goes away and I can move on with my life. I didn't have the surgery to stop eating all things unhealthy. I had the surgery to help me with portion control and to allow me to eat like a normal person. the band has done that for me. I can still go out with friends, eat what they eat in normal portions (but usually less), have a drink of wine, have a bit of soda or whatever. i'm not saying don't eat healthy. you have to eat healthy, but don't beat yourself up if you have a soda or eat something that isn't the best choice for you. just don't do it everyday. you really are gonna crash and burn if you go into this thinking that you will never have unhealthy foods again because believe me you will have unhealthy foods every once in a while. vacations, family gatherings, holidays. you can make better choices, but also realize that you are in this for the looooooong haul, and some days will be better than others. that's my .02 and i'm sure others will disagree, but this is what has been working for me. good luck and keep us posted.

The feeling I had was almost like a pulled muscle, but in my belly button area. it was really uncomfortable to bend over or go from a reclining position to a standing position. the nurse practitioner had NO idea what was wrong and sent me for a bunch of needless random tests. I kept telling her "i think my port flipped" but she acted like that was something that had never happened in the history of their practice.. the next day when i went back to get the "inconclusive" results of my CAT scans, the doctors came and and said "well, i can tell you in 2 seconds if it has flipped." he tried to give me a fill and the needled just scraped the surface of the back of the port and he knew it had flipped. i'm still a teensy bit sore in the area and the swelling has almost completely gone (Monday will be 4 weeks, so I guess it's normal). I was advised no exercise or lifting of anything over 10 pounds for 4 weeks and I have really stuck to that. I do NOT want to go through this again if I can help it....though, since i don't know how the thing flipped in the first place, i don't know if i can help it or not.

try eating a big enough bite of something and not chewing it well and i promise you will know what being stuck feels like. it's very uncomfortable and not something i would try to do on purpose. just chew, chew, chew and you may never know the feeling.

I don't think I have a weight in mind really. I have a size that I would like to be and if I get there, I'd be happy to either stay there or go below. my initial goal was just to get under 300 pounds, something that I haven't been under for 20 years by the way. since that goal was met, the rest has been icing on the cake. I would like to be around a size 14/16. A 12 doesn't seem realistic to me, but neither did a size 18 a year ago, and that's where I am today....so I will just keep plugging away at it.

I really love the Cliff Builder Bars in the Mint flavor. I'm not a huge mint fan, but somehow the combination of mint in these bars is really tasty. The Peanut Butter and chocolate ones are good too, but mint is mmmmm tasty.

The first few months I was banded, my TOM threw me for a loop, but then I got used to it and now I know what to expect. the day before and the first day of my period, I can't eat a thing. everything nauseates the heck out of me....then, on the 2nd and 3rd day of my period, I am like i was pre-banding. i can eat and eat and eat. nothing fills me up, i crave everything. by the 4th day (usually the last day) i get back to normal. The 2nd and 3rd day of my period I usually reserve for my wine drinking and copious amounts of chocolate eating it all evens out and i actually don't gain any weight during that time. probably the 2 days of not eating even out the 2 days of non-stop eating. i dunno, but that's what happens to me.

i lost 100 pounds in 1 year. i did it slowly and steadily with no fills. i had a minor set back a couple of weeks ago with a flipped port, but now i'm back on track and healing from the surgery. i should be able to get back to regular activity in 2 more weeks, so i'll probalby start losing again when that happens. i'm extremely happy with my loss so far.

I had my port revision a couple of weeks ago and i'm still a little sore. it totally hurt worse than the original surgery. i still have a little bit of Fluid under my skin, so i'm a little swolen in that area, and my skin is raised, but the doc says it's normal and will go down. I have been trying to wear my old "fat lady" underwear because anything that touches me is painful. i have 2 more weeks until i'm supposed to get back to my normal activity level and pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds. make sure you are not doing anything or lifting too much weight. you don't want to put too much strain on that area until it heals properly. it could be one reason you are leaking. you need to tell your doctor if a lot of fluid is coming out and tell him what color it is. if it is green or mucousy, then that could be a problem.

Like most everyone else here has said, don't beat yourself up over it. I have wine at least once a month. i can't live without wine and chocolate, so in moderation i have them. before the band, i wasn't able to moderate food intake because i never felt full, but now i don't have that issue, so every once in a while it's ok. i didn't get the band to give up living life altogether, i got it mostly because i wanted to be able to eat like a normal person, normal portions, have a normal life. that's what the band has done for me. i can go out with my normal sized friends, eat the same things they eat, drink the same things they drink and i feel normal. i didn't get the band to give up every good thing in life. just don't have every good thing in life every single day and you will be successful. give yourself a break, have a glass of wine and relax

I'm only a year out from my surgery, but I have approached it the same way. i didn't have the surgery to stop eating all good things and I can't give up chocolate either! i still eat pretty much whatever I want, just not huge portions and not all of the time. most of the time, i eat what i'm "supposed" to eat, but i go out with friends, i indulge, i cheat, i drink, i eat, i enjoy life! i never really did that before the band, so life is much better now that i'm learning to eat correctly. i don't obsess and think about food constantly and when i do eat, i spend a lot of time chewing it, so i only eat things that i enjoy having in my mouth. my tastes have changed. there are some things that i used to think i loved but after masticating for a few minutes, it just tasted totally disgusting. i have learned to enjoy the act of eating food and not just shovel it down. so...i hope i'm on track like you are after 7 years. i have already come so far without putting any pressure on myself. i didn't really tell anyone other than my husband and 1 other friend, so i haven't had people constantly watching me eat or asking me about my progress. i don't really have an end destination in mind and i'm not in a hurry to get anywhere. I just want to enjoy life. i am technically still obese, but i feel great and i look great as well, if i stay at this current weight i'd be fine with it. i suspect that i will continue to lose though, especially as the summer heats up and i start working out again. i'm lazy in the winter anywho, congrats on being where you are. i hope i'm lucky enough to maintain even if i don't lose any more weight.

I am back to answer my own questions, just in case anyone needs to know them. first of all, I will say, I didn't feel the port flip. I just woke up in pain and knew something was wrong. ok..recovery, i'm finding out, is much like the original surgery. I did NOT go back to work the next day as I was in a lot of pain from the incision. I had to take it very slow, getting up, sitting down, laying on my back instead of my side, etc... I am still healing and can't really pick up heavy objects for a while. I am healing a little faster with this one. I don't know if it's because I am so much lighter this time around, but I was able to come back to work for a half day the 2nd day after my surgery. the first time around, it took me about 5 days before I could really move around well enough to take public transit to get to work. i didn't feel a thing. i was awake and the procedure itself was quick (after a long day of waiting around in the hospital) i think it took about 15 minutes max. I was drugged, but awake during the procedure and able to talk and joke with the other doctors and nurses in the room. i know now that port flipping is not fun. i hope it never happens again because i don't know if i can go through the mental trauma of it. but it happened, so i dealt with it. love moves on and so do I

I chose NOT to tell anyone. It's no body else's business. I have struggled with weight by myself so I will struggle with losing it by myself. My DH knows, 1 friend, and people in my support group and that's it. I wouldn't tell another fat person that I had the surgery because I wouldn't want them to make a decision based on what I did or what worked for me. It's a heavy burden to bear if they don't have the same results and get upset or what have you. I did research on my own, I read this board, I talked to my doctor. If another fat person had suggested it to me, I probably wouldn't have listened to them while making the decision. that's just me though, everyone has to do what is right for them.

there will be plenty of swim suits for sale July- August, so I would just wait and get one then. That's my plan. I'm cruising in September as well and I will want a new suit for sure. I'll just wait until kinda near the end of summer when they go on sale and get one that fits and possibly save money at the same time.