Woodslass

Good luck Carol! My last supper was Taco Bell, LOL!

7 days to go for me....this time next week I'll be getting prepped for my lap band!

How nice that you have a nutritionist in the family! I would be totally taking advantage of that I have a friend who's husband is a personal trainer, and I'm thinking about asking him to be my drill sergeant for working out when I get the ok from my doctor. 7 days to go for me....this time next week, I'll be at the surgery center being prepped for my lap band! WOOHOO!

Welcome, and thanks for sharing with all of us! I think all of us are scared and nervous. I think it's only natural to be that way - if you weren't, you wouldn't have really thought about all the aspects of the lap band. In a way, it's good that you are because you are going into this with your eyes open! I'm self-pay, so once I wrote that really large check, I accepted that I am fully comitted to changing my life, including my eating habits. I've done pretty well on the pre-op Atkins-type diet my doctor put me on, and as of today I've lost 10 lbs in 7 days. Funny story - on my ticker below, I was only showing 3 lbs lost. My husband saw it and said "Hey, that's not right!" I told him I wasn't counting my Water weight loss, which I estimated at about 6 lbs out of my 10. He demanded I put that on my ticker, because as he said, it doesn't matter if it's water or fat or muscle, loss is loss! So there you go I hope you have lots of support, tmw! And know you will have tons of support here. I can't wait till mid next week when some of us are able to come back here and give an account of how we are! Carlene

Peaches, I'm with you on the whole husband thing. My husband is not only skinny but shorter than I am. I always feel like an Amazon - an unfit one - whenever I see photos of us together! I can't remember the last time I crossed my legs either. Maybe around 18 or 19 years old? Long long time ago...that would feel great

Terri, you and I have a ton in common as well! I was a hairdresser for over 15 years, got burnt out and quit the business. My mother was a hairstylist, owned her own salon for over 10 years, but died six years ago. I totally get what you mean about image in that business, I think that's part of what has me messed up today! My mom always strugged with her weight, and was always dieting - once I hit 13, she put me on diets too. Her idea of what I should look like totally killed my self esteem and of course, I ate to make myself feel better. I had problems once I started doing hair, always comparing myself to the other stylists around me, wondering if I would be more successful if I was skinny...oh boy, I TOTALLY get where you are coming from! And this is a birthday present for me too, my birthday was February 28th, the only reason I didn't have my surgery sooner was that we were putting in a new computer system on all of my properties in March and I had to be able to take care of things. Now that's over, I can get my band put in and focus on me for a change Glad you're here with us, we all need the support of each other

After reading hundreds of posts over the last few weeks, I think I've come to the conclusion that everyone is different. Whether it's calorie intake or exercise, low carb or low calorie, eating healthy or eating what you want, everyone is unique. I almost can't stand the suspense of finding out how it's going to be for me. I have read stories of people urking over a sip of Water, and people in a panic because they are always hungry. I have surgery in 9 days, and the only thing I've really learned is that I have to find out how this is going to work on my own body. I know I have determination, my willpower has never been higher, and my monthly weight loss goals are achievable (10 lbs/mo). Plus I have the support of all of you when I have questions. That's the best comfort of all. Carlene

I think we truly ARE sisters, Spot It's been over 15 years since I lived there, but I think we lived more mid-town, older neighborhood. I went to Everett Community College for 2 years though.

Well let's see. I'm 42, married, no kids, but have two golden retrievers who are like my kids I live in Denver, but I was born in Southern California. I lived in Everett, Washington for 7 years before moving here to Denver in 1998. I have two sisters, both younger than I am, who are also overweight but not as much as me. My mother died in 2004 of cancer, and my dad is remarried and lives in Paso Robles, CA. I work for a national residential property management company - we manage over 200 apartment communities from Hawaii to New York. I'm a regional manager and oversee 8 communities in the Denver area. I've been with the company for 8 years and my husband works for them too. I have to travel at least once a month, and I absolutely dread getting on the plane and fitting into those tiny seats. That will be a major milestone for me, to fit in there and not have to ask for a seatbelt extender. The event that triggered my desire to lose weight once and for all was about two years ago. I was in Philly for work, and we went into NYC to see some of our recent apartment purchases there. We walked all over the city, and I was always lagging behind, huffing and puffing and just wishing I would die and get it over with. By the third day, the pain was so bad in my legs and feet that I called my husband in tears. I told him I didn't care what it took, I had to lose weight, I just couldn't go on like this. I started my research and decided on the lap band because it was less intrusive and could be removed if it wasn't working. I love to read - my Kindle is never far from my side. I tend to be a homebody - my mom used to call me Susie Homemaker, because I like to cook (and eat), have a clean house, and take pride in my home. I also married a homebody, so sometimes I do get cabin fever, we don't go anywhere except for our yearly vacation. I'm hoping that losing weight will make me go out more and do things, even if it's to the farmer's market on a weekend or to the movies - when I can fit in the seat better. The first thing I am going to buy when I lose enough weight are knee high boots. I've been wanting them for several years, but at my weight, the calves are just too big and nothing fits! It's so frustrating and that's a major goal for me. Another goal is to be able to buy clothes in a store, actually walk in and get them, rather than buy online. It's been 2 years since I hit the size 30/32 mark and I want to scream sometimes when I buy a bunch of clothes online and have to send half back because the fit isn't right. To be able to walk into Fashion Bug or Lane Bryant and buy clothes should happen within a few months, and that will be a great milestone Other than that, my goal is to lose 10 lbs a month - that's all. If I lose more, fantastic, but I'm not going to beat myself up for losing just 10 lbs a month. That's a year and a half to reach my goal weight, and doable. I'm so tired of being my own worst critic! It feels good to focus on me and not everyone around me for a change

We should all definitely stay in touch, we're in this together Welcome Tia! Glad you have you with us other April bandsters!

Amazing, congrats on such a great achievement! Keep going

Great thread I'm having surgery in 10 days, and when I saw the name of this thread I immediately knew what my band's name was going to be! If any of you have seen Wanda Syke's comedy special called "I'ma Be Me" on HBO, you will totally get why I am going to name my band "Esther"! If you haven't seen it, you should Esther is it! Carlene

My BMI is around 57. I am having my surgery in 10 days, on April 5th and I'm currently on the pre-op low carb diet. I have at least 180 lbs to lose, if not more, and I am so excited to start getting it done! You know, it doesn't matter who is fattest - some of us hold weight better. I can tell you that no one looking at me would think I weigh 364 lbs because I'm tall and it's pretty equally distributed. But I just keep reminding myself that at this weight it's like I'm carrying around a normal sized man on my back all the time...if I can still work and clean house with that man on my back, think of what I'll be able to do when I dump him! We all have a long way to go, and I'm fully expecting it to take up to two years to lose the weight, at around 10 lbs a month. I just keep telling myself that food is fuel, and I can get my pleasure elsewhere. Like when I can wear a great pair of knee high boots and sit in an airplane seat without asking for a seatbelt extender, or having my thighs go numb from being crushed between the armrests! Carlene

This is EXACTLY my biggest wish! I can't wait for fall, I want some totally awesome knee high boots. I've ordered at least 15 pair online over the last 5 years and they never fit over the calf. I can't wait to wear boots! For those of you that hate Lane Bryant - I just wish I could shop there, I can't even fit into those clothes right now. That will be a great motivator for me in about 2 months, I'm a 30/32 right now and they have up to 26/28 sometimes, but mostly only up to 22/24. I am really excited to be able to get that far, that's my first main goal To be able to buy a few things in Target would be great too, I can't shop there either at this point. Carlene

Well, I haven't had my surgery yet, I'm 10 days away. But I agree that some doctors are more strict than others. My doctor and nutritionist told me I only have to be on clear liquids for 2 days after surgery. Then I can move on to Full Liquids, like pudding and custard and applesauce, oatmeal and cream of wheat. By the 4th or 5th day I'm allowed to move onto soft foods like yogurt, soft cheese, blended meats and well cooked stews and casseroles, or moist meat and vegetables. I stay on that until 3 weeks post-op and then go to the regular food diet. My doctor is considered one of the top 5 for Lap Band in the US and he's done over ten thousand surgeries. I think that you should start experimenting a little and see how it goes. Like Elfiepoo said, getting that protein is going to do wonders - right now it sounds like you have appetite fatigue, and that's a bad place to be in. Anyone who eats the same thing day after day will eventually refuse to eat it. Not sure who Johnny is, but if he's not the God of Lapband, then I really don't care what he thinks. This is my opinion, and it should be taken as that - an opinion, not fact or chiseled in stone. Carlene

***fist bumping my sista right back*** That's awesome that you have that little help in going off the medication! Here's a good way to eat your shrimp tonight if you can make a quick run to the store. I had this on Wednesday Chop 1/2 head of small cabbage into 1" pieces; add to this 2 celery stalks chopped into 1" pieces, 1 green pepper chopped into same size, and 1/2 onion chopped into same size. Saute in a frying pan with about 2 tbsp butter, adding a little more if needed. Cook until it's softened but not limp, then add about 1 tbsp soy sauce and cook for another minute, then take off the heat. Put in the center of a dinner plate and keep warm. In same pan, add another 2 tbsp butter and a little garlic, saute until garlic is fragrant. Add your shrimp and cook over medium until the shrimp is cooked through, just a few minutes. Pour your shrimp and butter on top of your cabbage stirfry, and enjoy! it's about 5 carbs or so and really fills you up. I love using romaine lettuce as a wrap for my lunchmeat and cheese during lunch. I made some chicken salad with egg this morning and I'm going to have some chicken salad wraps for dinner tonight! Carlene

I'm also having my surgery on April 5th - seems like a popular date! I have been on my low-carb diet since last Monday the 21st, and everything is going well. I'm having no cravings, trying out new low-carb recipes to keep my body satisfied and I can't wait for my surgery date in 10 days! Carlene

I posted this in another topic, but it applies here too. It's normal to be scared and having second thoughts. If you weren't having second thoughts, you probably have not thought through this completely! I was close to backing out about two weeks ago, and my surgery is now 10 days away. This is a major life changer, and you should definitely look at all aspects of a life change before you do it. You've done that - now it's time to reaffirm to yourself why you are doing this. Think about how much better you are going to feel, not only with your body but with your head! Remind yourself that tons of people can't get this far or don't WANT to get this far about changing thier life. You are strong enough to have taken the step to get here. Believe in your own decision, don't second guess yourself. It IS the right move to make, I am now positive of that. You know how I got my confidence? Because one of my sisters kept trying to talk me out of it. She gave the false impression of "I'm just trying to help you and I will be there for you" but every time I talked to her she was subtly trying to get me to not do it. Mostly from jealousy, I firmly believe. In justifying myself to her, I realized that I did want to do this, it was for me and NO ONE ELSE. I told her last weekend that if she couldn't support me, then she shouldn't call me anymore. She was shocked, saying that she did support me and was only giving me options. I told her that her options were undermining my determination and resolve and she was making me feel bad. She got offended and hung up (shrug). I haven't talked to her in a week and I don't really care. Let her have her crazy diets and fads - I'm going for the long haul. Kymba, it will be all right. You need to go read the success stories and write down why you are doing this and what you expect to happen that is good and wonderful. You can do this, we all are here for you! Carlene

I made the decision early on to share my upcoming lapband surgery with everyone I know, including people at work, employees, bosses, friends and family. I want them to know that I am doing something for ME, not for anyone else, and if they don't like it they can kiss my patootie. A part of me also wants to be held accountable for this. I'm self-pay, spending 10k+ of my own money, and I don't want to throw that away. I want people to notice when I look thinner, and I need to know inside that everyone knows about this, so I better stick to the plan! Everyone except one of my sisters (I think she's jealous) has been very happy for me, curious about the procedure, and what I will go through. I have lots of support from my co-workers and employees and my husband is being wonderful. I finally told my jealous sister last weekend that if she couldn't support me that she should stop calling me. She was shocked, claiming she was being supportive, but actually she was doing everything she could to scare me into not doing the surgery. I haven't heard from her in a week (shrug). This is only one of several major life changes for me - I stopped smoking after 35 years in December and haven't touched a cigarette since. In February I gave up all caffeine and soda (I was a 6-pack a day Pepsi drinker). Now it's time to tackle that last addiction, food. Carlene

Merriemish, I went through that same thing about two weeks ago. I nearly called off my April 5th surgery, I kept thinking all sorts of negative things. You know what? If you weren't scared and second guessing, then you wouldn't have thought the process through completely. It's natural when you are making a very big decision. But the fact that you have looked at all the angles says that you know what you are getting into, unlike some people who think this may be a miracle fix! All of us have had these thoughts. At this point, I'm committed to it, and my negative thoughts are gone. It's time to do something, and at least we are doing it! Keep telling yourself that this is something just for you, not anyone else in your life. Imagine how much better you are going to feel afterwards, you can do it! Carlene

I started my pre-op Atkins type diet last Monday (3/21). I've done Atkins before so I knew what to do. Yes Spot, Paula told me that I could have one piece of fruit a day and one yogurt, but I haven't done that - I wanted the weight loss more I have yogurt in the fridge, just haven't touched it. When I'm on Atkins I'm so carb conscious that I can't help looking at that label and seeing 33 carbs for that little yogurt! I've been eating sugar free Jello cups instead. I've really been shocked at myself - I haven't cheated once in the last 6 days. I've stuck to it, I printed out some new low-carb recipes and had some fantastic fish tacos last night (romaine leaves took the place of the taco shell). I also made a mock lasagna with spaghetti squash taking the place of noodles, and that was pretty awesome too! I weighed myself this morning and I've lost about 9 lbs, which I know at least 6 of it is Water weight. And surprisingly enough, I have not had cravings - I'm a huge bread eater (well, I *WAS* a huge bread eater) and I haven't craved bread at all. I do have to admit I'm looking forward to having the surgery so I can have some of my husband's mashed potatoes though! I feel good - strong, my willpower and confidence in myself to do this is really high. My husband is supportive and is always willing to run to the store to get something I need to make a new low-carb meal. I'm exactly 10 days from surgery and I can't wait! Carlene

My doctor didn't say I had to quit, but I wanted to quit just because I know going under anethesia when you're a smoker can cause complications. I've tried Chantix (made me nuts, I couldn't handle the vivid dreams), gum and the patch (didn't do a darn thing for me at all), and cold turkey (ha, right). This time I went with the e-cigarette. You are not smoking tobacco, you are inhaling a liquid nicotine, so you're not getting all the tar and carcinogens but you still get some level of nicotine. And it worked I've smoked for 28 years, and I've now been tobacco free since December 27th. The first two days I went through a mild withdrawal, then everything smoothed out. I started out smoking my e-cig just like a regular cigarette, but found that with the nicotine being directly inhaled as a vapor, I didn't need to smoke as much, and I smoke less often to get the nicotine into my system. Today, I only puff three or four times, and don't even think about it again for four or five hours. I'm slowly weaning myself down to the "low" level of nicotine (I started on the "medium") and I think that I should be off this completely within a few months. If nothing else works, try this - simply amazing. For more info, look in YouTube and type in e-cig and you can see videos. Carlene

I'm local, I live in Denver. I will definitely call tomorrow and set up an appointment to talk to her. I only live about 15 minutes from Dr. K's office. I set up my surgery date in early January, because I needed to plan ahead to be off work and get some other things out of the way. Let's talk in this thread afterwards and see how it went for both of us! How long are you staying before you go back home to Wisconsin?

Hey Spot - I'm scheduled with Dr. Kirshenbaum in Denver on April 5th. I start my pre-op diet on March 21st. Have you talked to the dietician yet? I haven't heard anything from the office since I got my initial paperwork packet with the pre-op diet and stuff.

I guess I can begin with the basics. After all, I have no idea who will be reading this blog, or if anyone will even notice. I think this is more a place to get the thoughts out of my head, where they can fester and be poisonous. And you never know, I may even amuse someone. I'm Carlene, 41 years old, married, no kids. I live in Denver and currently work in residential property management. I've been fat all my life. I have photos of my 2 year old rosy, chubby self on the back of an evil-looking pony, taken somewhere back on the grandparents farm. Sure, I was cute then. All blonde hair and green eyes, how adorable. Blech. My mom was fat as a kid. When she hit her junior year of high school, she morphed over a summer into this gorgeous, slim, blonde bombshell that every guy suddenly lusted after. Pooh on all those untested young men - she chose my father, after dating his brother and finding my dad 10 years older, gorgeous with jet black hair, snapping brown eyes, and already doing the thing she wished for most - getting the hell out of Kentucky. They married, settled in Southern California, and began the American Dream. But that fat gene was lurking, and it passed to us - myself and 2 younger sisters. Horrors. My mom dieted all her life. Yo-yo should have been her middle name. The cabbage diet, the egg diet, the fish diet - you name it, she did it. And at around 13, I started getting dragged into it as well. My mom was a hairdresser, which was extremely profitable and glamorous to her backwards relations in Kentucky, and you paid the price with image, you see. Hairdressers had to look the part, be thin, perfect makeup, gorgeous hair, natch...or who would come to be made pretty by them? How often do you see a fat hairdresser? Not too often. I think my mom was also tramatized by her own experiences as a fat child and tween, and she didn't want me to go through it. I wish I hadn't. But gawd, one of the worst memories I have are of my mother promising me as many pairs of Jordache as I wanted if I could just fit into them. I couldn't, and by 13 I couldn't even fit into her clothes. So on the diets I went. I think I managed to get enough weight off to get a pair of Jordache at one point, but within weeks had burst out of them again. I have two sisters, much younger than I am. I think this weight issue must be harder for my middle sister, Jayne - she was really skinny (took after Dad) up until she hit junior high, and then gained weight. Lacy, the youngest, was always chubby like I was. I imagine it was hell for her that she had a sister only 2 years older that was tanned, skinny and gorgeous. By then I was out of the house and living with my husband. Both of my sisters have a weight problem, but I'm the worst. It was during a screaming match during a very hard time in my life, when I had left my husband of 7 years and moved back home while trying to find a job that a lot of baggage came out. I was 27, still overweight, and thought I'd get a job at a local salon as a receptionist until I went back to school or figured out what to do with myself as a single woman. In front of my Dad, who was sitting and doing his best to studiously ignore the entire conversation by watching TV, my mom told me I'd never find anyone to hire me because I didn't project the image a salon needed, being so overweight. I snapped. I told her that I was sick and tired of hearing about my weight. That is was her fault I was overweight, by stressing me out since I was a child with yo-yo dieting and that there were people out there that liked me just fine. I'd managed to find a husband, have a good job, and wasn't shunned like a leper. I believe that my face was red, the veins were standing out in my neck and forehead, and I was screaming this at the top of my lungs. Jayne and Lacy were standing there, mouths dropped open, my dad cringed, and then my mom said something that just about imploded my entire family. My mom screamed back at me that she had always had to struggle with her weight, and she dieted all her life because my dad told her when they got married that if she ever got fat he'd divorce her. Oh boy. Mom burst into tears, collapsed on the sofa, and my dad looked thunderstruck. "I can't believe you have held that in all these years," he says. "I was young and didn't realize you took that so seriously, I would never..." I was frozen at the bottom of the stairs, Jayne had rushed to my mom and Lacy literally sat down where she stood. It was beyond momentous. So from that moment on, I swore to myself I would never diet again. Never-never-never-ever again. If people didn't like me for me, then screw em. If I was fat, so be it. I was going to be happy, and love myself no matter what. But of course, I didn't. I am not happy. I don't love myself like I should. It's been 14 years since that scene went down, and my mother died from lung cancer 6 years ago. God, I miss her. Don't get the idea that I hated my mom - she was fantastic, and my best friend, and things changed after that screaming match. She accepted me for me, and always gave me great advice and was there through thick and thin, always my champion. Watching her die from that horrible disease was the worst thing I have ever been through in my life, and I still talk to her in my head. I still cry for her too. About 10 years ago I found the Atkins diet and thought it was the answer to my prayers. I lost 60 lbs, went to a convention feeling great and full of confidence and sass, and met my husband. Within 18 months I had gained it all back and more, but still had my husband. I've had to compensate for my weight. I've become funny, smart, respected (for the most part) by my employees and my supervisors, I have good common sense and I'm good at what I do. I've been successful at work and for the most part have been happy with what I've accomplished. Except the weight. It keeps getting worse, and I now realize that I have issues. The biggest issue I have is a skewed body image of myself. It's like those bulimic people who look in a mirror and think they are fat, when they are a walking skeleton - mine is the opposite. I think I developed it when my mom was putting me on diet after diet - I can look in the mirror and I don't see anything wrong. Somehow I have spent years ignoring what I see and telling myself I look great. Sure, I keep going up in sizes. Yeah, the upper arms are starting to look like half hams, and the belly actually hangs over to the point that there's a permanent crease underneath there. My ankles swell when I stand or sit for too long of a time, or fly in an airplane. But I was still strong, I was active, I could walk through a farmer's market and not pass out, or go to a concert and boogie all night. But age is now starting to creep in. I broke two bones in my right ankle four years ago and a year after that, broke all the cartilage in my right knee when I twisted it coming down the stairs. Neither has come back full force, and now they ache with all the weight on them. My face has no definition anymore, and recent photos horrified me - I have chins. As in multiple, not looking down or anything, but looking straight ahead. I don't let anyone take photos of me, because then it blows my lovely skewed self image and I see how large I am, especially when standing next to a normal sized person. And I hear my mom in my head, urging me to do something, anything, just do it before I die young like she did (at age 56) and I haven't even really lived yet. Two years ago I was with a group of my co-workers and we went on a tour of some apartment communities in Philadelphia and Harlem. We flew from Denver to Philly, stayed in a hotel, had to walk miles and miles in both cities. I would come back to the hotel at night and literally cry with the pain of my legs and feet. When you are supporting 350 lbs on your feet, they just can't take this much abuse. The cramps at night would keep me awake, pain sizzling in my calves and feet like someone was holding sparklers to the skin. That was it - that was when I hit rock bottom. Halfway through the trip, I called my husband and just sobbed. I told him it didn't matter what it took, if I had to borrow, beg or steal, I had to have surgery and had to get my weight down. I hated getting on an airplane and asking for the seatbelt extender, and having the seat arms dig into my thighs, cutting off circulation until I could barely walk when the flight was over. I hated the way I was being looked at by my co-workers when I would fall behind, huffing and puffing, legs screaming, praying to myself that it would all end soon. I couldn't continue this way, it was time to act. Insurance won't cover my surgery. I have to pay for it out of pocket. It's taken me two years to save up, but I finally have my date - April 5, 2011. I've just purchased a weight set, a treadmill, and arranged for time off of work. It's finally going to happen....and I can see my mom, clapping her hands, cheering me on, smiling at me.