Cleo's Mom

Personally, I need logic. Even when it's written " correctly" people still misinterpret. It goes both ways. So your 1st point negates your second point. Also, it takes time to learn the site so some people don't know about questions others have had. As u stated, its a public forum so there should be an understanding that people come from all walks of life and express themselves in all manner of ways.

@@Babbs I'm with you. 25th Anniversary last December and I tell my kids the same thing - find someone you think is hilarious and thinks the same of you.

I have been married for almost 26 years, and when people ask me "What's your secret?" the first thing I tell them is LAUGH. Try to find humor in even the toughest situations (appropriately, of course). We have gone through pretty much everything a marriage can go through, except the death of a child (thank goodness), and humor has gotten us through some really tough times. Every time you're able to find humor in a difficult situation, you win. Oh, and:

You are the one who defends insulting people and then accuses me of anger and hostility when I stick up for myself. That's just more of the same. Yawn. You're the one who's angry that you got caught with all your deceptions about why you started this thread. "Oh, I can't possible say who wrote those posts, their poor feelings will get hurt". Yeah, right. You really are so sensitive to other's feelings as this and your other posts show.
And as far as nails - I think I've hit the nail on the head about you and that's what makes you so angry. You don't have anything intelligent to come back with so you just attack. That's such a pathetic tactic. It sure doesn't fool me. I've seen it before. That is your style.
What I don't understand is that if you "don't give a damn" (earlier post) why are you still on here?

I am not sure why grammar is so important on a self help website, but I am probably in the minority?

I only read a few pages and skipped to the end, but this was just one thread I couldn't keep quiet on. I understand that it drives people crazy when the same question is asked over and over again, but I just have to wonder if some remember back to when they were a "newbie" and Bariatric Pal was their main source of information. I do realize posters sometimes don't use the search to see if the question has been asked before. You also have people like me, wanting to ask a question but frantically searching all the forums for a question like some crazed timid little new kid and then just about stroking out with anxiety before hitting that POST button in fear of what others may think of your question. I spend about 30 minutes searching if it's been asked before and worrying that a reader may give that "behind the computer eye roll". Nobody should feel that way on an INTERNET forum. I can't just pick up the phone and ask my surgeon's office how scrambled eggs went down the first time they ate it?!?! That is what this site is for! And about the grammar, it's shameful that people don't take into consideration that years ago some didn't get proper education. For instance, my mother is now a very well-off upstanding woman who has worked her ass off for everything they have along with my dad. What have they made a living off all of their life??? Farming. She grew up very poor and farmed the rice fields all day every day. They didn't have time for school nor were they told or made to go. They were made to WORK if they wanted to eat. She later in life married my dad, learned to read well, and got a GED. She had twin girls who ended up being a Nurse Practitioner and an RN after a full ride to college. What can she not do? SPELL!!! She's not lazy, she just struggles with grammar, punctuation, and spelling. She had bypass and won't post on here for fear of sounding stupid and people silently mocking her about it. I had an amazing education, but it was my non-grammar using parent who busted her ass to save money so that I could enjoy having the luxury of learning properly.

@@CanyonBaby
Thanks for your response, because some of us "newbies" haven't had the opportunity to learn everything about this site yet and may post things that have been previously posted....... GOD FORBID
I do love this site and the advice I've been given from it! I'm also starting to see the ones who are judgmental and "picky" about what you post!
blah blah blah
But I guess we all have the right to voice our opinion? Don't we? LOL

I've had people who have lost weight through bariatric surgery tell me that's what I needed. At the time....not what I wanted to hear. I was actually pretty insulted at the time.
I was a 30 year smoker. I've been smoke free for over a year, and I wouldn't dream of telling others to quit. If I don't want to be around their smoke now, I leave the room.
We've all seen this before, a person "reforms", and starts preaching to others to change. That's just the wrong way to do things, in my opinion.
It's none of my business, what people want to do. Destructive or not...it's not my call, not my business and not my right to judge. That's just how I live my life...NOW, because I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to help people get off booze, drugs, you name it, while I was clearly addicted to food. The day I woke up and realized, I have got to do something about me first...was the day I stopped trying to help everyone else. Me first, now. I have my own addictions to deal with.
It's usually always a good practice in my opinion, to stay out of other's people's business. Just my opinion.

This is supposed to be a forum where you get information, tell you stories of success (or failures) and get support. People who are struggling are looking for support and some good suggestions to help them. There is absolutely NO GOOD REASON to do that in any way but a nice, polite, supportive way.
The whole thing about "free speech" is just an excuse for some to be rude.
Yes, anyone has the right to be on here and voice their opinion and anyone else has the right to call them out on being rude.
It reminds me of blaming the victim (in this case calling them thin skinned) - remember all the fat jokes that we were supposed to laugh at because if we didn't then we "couldn't take a joke"?
I call it like I see it and rude is rude. Don't try to dress it up as tough love or blame the person it is directed at.

My dad was obese and he loved food. He was a gentle soul who had a good heart. He was a very generous person who didn't complain and worked hard. But he loved food. The only times I ever saw him in a bad mood was when my mother put him on a diet (she too was obese). I don't know if he knew the health risks of obesity but I will say that he enjoyed life and lived what was for his generation a normal life span. His weight never seemed to stop him from doing anything (perhaps his age did). I guess I am glad he chose to be happy.

I read somewhere that Jackie Kennedy, who was well educated and certainly an expert on etiquette, used dashes a lot in her writing. I actually prefer them to commas - they're kind of like a pause but don't deserve a period.

What a hoot! Thanks for the link.

I read somewhere that Jackie Kennedy, who was well educated and certainly an expert on etiquette, used dashes a lot in her writing. I actually prefer them to commas - they're kind of like a pause but don't deserve a period.

As a cancer survivor (so far) myself I am always happy to hear of someone who is cancer free after treatment. I wish him continued success and good health.

I read the whole darn thing! LOL
I just had to add a quick note about the pink cursive font. UGH! I just don't bother reading those any longer. My eyes must be older than the rest of me because no matter how big I make that post, I can barely read them.
As for the rest of this rant/debate, it is funny that people get so hung up on things that are not important.. The important thing is that we have a place to both give and get support when needed.
Enough said....LOL!

Exactly! it's a big world and I wish I had the good manners to post in Italian as good as you do in English if the situation was reversed.
Last thing we need is a bunch of people looking down their noses and instead of paying attention to what someone is saying, they are critiqued and graded on how well,or not, they say it.
I'm not their teacher or mother. I'm here to offer my experience with WLS....so you can talk to me. I will listen.
I saw 6 patients and their families yesterday....2 were Spanish and needed interpreters,,,,and one family was from India.
The father from India is a big shot engineer that makes our education system look silly.! But if he posted here he would be slammed because he did not use commas in the right place and because of his English spelling....
I can say people from the south have bad grammar...does that mean I won't talk to them? How about Aussies? Are thy to be ignored also? Asians? Those that are dirt poor and have no education?
Perhaps we can institute some sort of questionnaire before we let people join this group of the "Elite"
There...that's my rant. My forum etiquette beef is all the self proclaimed experts trying to make themselves feel better than the next person....I get it...you're wonderful...you're perfect! I bow down to your ivory tower!
Just share your weight loss successes and experiences ( if you have any) with others who come here to glean information.

There seems to be some difference of opinion by some as to whether the band is meant to be permanent or temporary. While it can be removed or revised to a different WLS I am not aware of anyone in the medical profession, especially those putting bands in, saying that they are meant to be temporary.
Would you have the band put in if you were told it wasn't meant to be permanent?

I survived breast cancer (so far) and was diagnosed 11 months before my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. So we were both battling cancer at the same time. I took care of him the whole time here at home and was with him when he died. But we raised two beautiful children and I now have 3 beautiful grandchildren that my husband never got to see.

I survived breast cancer (so far) and was diagnosed 11 months before my husband was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. So we were both battling cancer at the same time. I took care of him the whole time here at home and was with him when he died. But we raised two beautiful children and I now have 3 beautiful grandchildren that my husband never got to see.

I read somewhere that Jackie Kennedy, who was well educated and certainly an expert on etiquette, used dashes a lot in her writing. I actually prefer them to commas - they're kind of like a pause but don't deserve a period.

I read somewhere that Jackie Kennedy, who was well educated and certainly an expert on etiquette, used dashes a lot in her writing. I actually prefer them to commas - they're kind of like a pause but don't deserve a period.

I read somewhere that Jackie Kennedy, who was well educated and certainly an expert on etiquette, used dashes a lot in her writing. I actually prefer them to commas - they're kind of like a pause but don't deserve a period.

wow..I am having a "compulsive moment" here! I can not believe I read this thread! lol...it was like a car wreck I couldn't take my eyes off! haha...I'm throwing my 2 cents in and I don't care if anyone is looking out for grammer or improper puncuation marks but I just want to mention which I read on another post I have family members who are dyslexic and bc of the stigma (yes I abbreviated a word) went through life and is now in the 70's age to this day never went to get help and when they even mentioned it yrs ago to get help well it didn't happen. to this day they are soo self conscience it has taken a toll . I understand this is a "rant" thread. we all need to rant at times, and I know no one cares what I think but there is other issues to me that are worse off. I am no where near perfect and I will admit I am one that pops in and I have noticed that especially when I intend to write the word "and" it almost never fails "an" gets copied! AND if that bugs someone to no end then I don't know what to say about that other then "get real". lordy lordy...thats my 2 cents..haha..my rants over! OH I almost forgot..I am a txt'r and if I am in a hurry uh yea I do abbr alot! so if it bugs anyone just keep scrolling! bc it's not changing here.. just sayin! now carry on. I'm going to scroll and see if there's any other new comments on this thread.. and 1 more thing for newbie's..glad your here!

I have to admit that I sometimes find myself tsk tsking to myself about other people's spelling, grammar and netspeak. However, I agree that my mild irritation is not worth commenting on out loud. Communication is the important thing, not the form. I enjoy using slang and modernisms, and I have been chagrined to re-read my own postings and find words omitted and errors in spelling. Younger people are used to text-speak and tend to use that form for all their informal communications. I shouldn't get all "stay off my lawn" about it.
The point that I want to disagree with is that people should add comments to existing threads about common topics rather than starting their own. Firstly, as has been pointed out above, we don't all have the same knowledge about this website and may not know how to use the search function. And secondly, starting your own thread is a way of asking for help. You will probably get different (and more) responses from your own thread than you will from adding to an existing one. I agree that it is more convenient for us readers when all of the answers are in one thread, but I think the enhanced ability to connect to others and receive support outweighs that benefit.

Sorry to read that you feel so strongly about forum etiquette on a forum where people are meant to come together to support one another for their weight loss surgery issues. The last thing most people are thinking/worried about is "omg did i spell that right? OR omg I should have used a comma" (just examples). Has it occurred to you that maybe, people are used to using text lingo because they may be using the mobile app and as such it's a lot easier to do? As well as other reasons given by other posters ie some people are not computer savvy, english being second language etc.
I personally think that you are sweating the small stuff, if these little things bother you "that" much, maybe take a little break from the internet and go for a walk, get some air /shrug.