Control

Here it Feb. 13th and I still at the same weight that I have been for the last serveral months. I know that I have lots of problems, but one that came to light last night is the need to control something. I have no control over so many things that I can control what I do put in my mouth. No one can tell me no. No one has to see me eat (I know everyone can till that I overeat by just looking at me.) I can eat in private, I can hide things, I can eat in the car, I can go through a drive thru and I can eat what I want. I don't want anyone telling me I can't eat. It's really the only thing I can control. The funny thing is for the last month I've been telling myself that I'm the only one that can do this. I have tried many diets and I have had lap band so far none have worked for me. I'm one that has the control to make it work.

I think if I work on this maybe it will help me in the future. I know I have the control to make this work. I am in control of what I put in my mouth, no one can make me eat or make me not eat. I do all the buying and all the cooking. We really don't eat out very often. I have to start with a real effort and maybe this will work. I have to want this more than I want to eat.