Thoughts

I went to the Dr. on Monday expecting my first fill. I lost another 10 lbs since Jan 5th which I am informed is very good and need to wait another month to see if they will give me a fill. The worst part of the whole visit was being told that I can eat regular foods. It was like hiting a switch in my mind and bells going off like at the races. I am having the hardest time with my thoughts about food. It seems like an on going battle "do i eat this and or this " . I should be estatic that I have lost a total of 41lbs since 7/7/08 and 31 of them are 10 pre surgery and 21 post surgery. I just don't feel the same like I am actually missing my fat, the comfort zone and becoming someone I am not familar with . Even though I heard the bells go off that I could have food again it is a daily struggle not to indulge in old eating habits. Let me tell you sugarless trident is my new best friend and can I go through a pack of gum in a day. I was elated to eat carrots again . I never realized how much food controlled me and my emotions . Yeah I have said I am an emotional eater but never truly understood the extent of it until now. I know that my health will continue to improve as long as I stick with changing my lifestyle. Sometimes I feel like I am just sitting back watching from with in as to what is happening and waiting for something but not sure what.:blushing:

Chriss- this is my biggest worry also...the dreaded head hunger, but in reading your blog it confirms that the band is a great tool because it really forces you to face this dragon. I may need a lobotomy...wonder if insurance covers that LOL. Oh, and thanks for the gum tip, I'm not a chewer now so I wouldn't have thought of that! -BG

...and I get the 'watching/waiting' thing as I've been thin several times...we have enough 'watching/waiting' before the surgery, time to get out there and build the life you've wanted...this is a great time to start making small changes to your personal life as well...I may have to find more hobbies to fill my hands when they're not holding my constant companions anymore (fork/spoon).

First off congrats on your weight loss!!! I have the same worries your not alone, I never knew how much I have relied on food, when I was mad I ate when I was happy I ate when I was sad I ate. The worst part of it all is that I am trying to deal with not having that anymore in my life. I am trying to find something I really enjoy doing or something around the house that I could do instead of always looking for something to eat to comfort me. I am scared too when I get the go ahead to eat whatever I want , I just hope that I am strong to pick the right foods to eat and with the band as a tool to eat right portions. I am so glad we have this site to beable to get the support we need and let our fustration out.