By want_so_bad
· 124 views
today is the day! that fill i so ever desperately need is coming this afternoon. i am scared/excited/nervous.
i am ready for this. ready for restriction again and to lose this damn weight. right? why am so worried about it?
my head is just going in a bunch of different directions. its like, omg, i wont be able to eat bla bla this or bla bla that. and i KNOW that is a good thing, but its also upsetting me right now. how freakin stupid is that? i know its stupid, and yet, i feel that way.
but i know i wont miss the pounds i am going to lose. i know i wont miss the massive fat rolls that are me right now.
i am so gonna work this so hard now! i can do this. hell, i know i can and i am gonna do it!
i printed off a bunch of pictures of swim suits i like. ones that i want to take with me on the cruise in october. i am hangin them up on my fridge and my cabinets at home. that way any time i am tempted to open them and eat i have a reminder! my hubby thinks i am nuts. so be it. if nuts is what it takes to do this again, nuts it is!
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