Chemical Imbalance

So, a wobbler.. Whats a wobbler, a wobbler is when Angelica loses her mind, and sort of falls into a world of HIGH anxiety and depression.

I guess most people would call this a fat day?

Lets break it down like this, I have lost about 5-7 lbs for every month that I have had the band (today is my 6 month anniversay, btw)

Okay, so 30-35 lbs. In 6 months.. I am TRYING to be patient. I have gotten my fills, but I havent eaten the correct foods, I havent eaten the correct portions. I havent been exercizing like I know that I should. I have been sort of trying to skirt out of the fact that I have a band.

Since the last fill, under floro, thats not so much an option anymore, either it goes down, or it comes up, I'm adjusting to learning to eat small amounts, and chewing the shit out of everything. I feel like I am losing weight, but I dont own a scale, and the tape measure that i keep in my bathroom aint reading any different from last week.

Frustrated.

I mean, I get it, I am not doing the right things, this is MY fault. I dont run like I should, I have to eat well now, but thats just because its a physical imposibility to eat poorly anymore. (meaning portion size)

To top that off, I am going on a trip to NM with my mom, (road trip, aweesoommmee) and my mother has decided she would like to take me to get a haircut at this swanky place, I just feel fat and stupid and slow and generally like a shitty person today.

Christ, I'll even cheat MYSELF, how could I not cheat someone else, the fundamentals of Angelica are off, bad. I feel like an asshole generally.

Ugh, this is going to get better, but I'm having a wobbler today.

-A