Caregivers unite!

This is part of a thread I posted too.

Ug. I first should preface this by saying I LOVE my mom. But I'm so annoyed every once in awhile.

My mom has an unknown neurological condition that has affected her ability to walk, her moods, and various other things. I am one of her primary caretakers, so I spend a lot of time taking her places, cooking for her and my dad, cleaning their house and what not.

We went to the grocery store today. We go to the same store every Tuesday, so we see the same people. They're all very kind and helpful to my mom in her wheelchair. I find most people are annoyed that she is in a wheelchair and they cut her off or brush by her, or stand in front of her in the aisle when she's trying to look at something in the store, so I'm particularly grateful for these kind people. We were checking out and my mom was watching the prices. My mom started yelling at our checkout lady saying "How can you charge these kinds of prices? Don't you feel ashamed to work here and steal money from people?!" And on and on. I got on my mom and said, "Mom, she doesn't control the prices... if you have a concern about the prices, let's go home and write a letter to send to the company." The poor girl said, "I know they're high, I guess because gas prices have gone up so have groceries too." My mom said "That's just the lies they tell you... blah blah blah"

I'm just annoyed that a perfectly pleasant trip to the store turned into a bad situation. I told mom once we got out of the store that all she did was make that lady's day worse. My mom is not a mean person, but her neurological condition makes her mood change from pleasant to angry in moments. I work a full time job and have a disastrous 4 day schedule so I can spend my 5th business day with my mom, along with weekends and evenings. I hate my job, but I stay because they allow me that flexibility to take care of my mom... but when I have days like this, it makes me want to scream! I guess I'm just frustrated because I take care of mom, work full time, and have a household and a husband to take care of.

I feel guilty for being upset with her. I feel bad that I'm feeling like I make a huge sacrifice for her and she doesn't even care. I know she's my mom and has made tons of sacrifices for me too, but my mom has been sick all my life and it makes me feel like I never really had a mom!

I just feel so alone, and it's not fair that I never had a mom! It's not fair that while my friends and their moms are having girls days out and talking like best friends, or relating on a mom/daughter level, I'm being a caregiver for my mom. I'm too young for this, MY MOM is too young for this!

It just makes me want to crawl into bed and cry.:thumbs_up:

you need a break. Try to see if there is respite care services in your area.

This too shall pass.

You are doing a very loving thing. Don't forget to love yourself.

Good luck

I agree with ajoneeen pleas find a respite or an adult daycare alo senoir plus will sometimes shop for your mom you have got to find an escape because if you don't if god forbid your mom passes you will have the smae regrets you do now except you will think that if you ahdn't felt this way and gave love it would have been different. But you are giving the ultimate love. You never said if you are a bander so i guess not just seeking help youmay need to talk to a professional to help you cope does your husband ehlp out he should and do you have siblings talk to them and ask you moms doctor to give her a mild sedative for whn you take her out keep loving her but let your dad know that you have to have some time away and aunt cousin whoever is coming over and not to be mean if not you will not be there and also take a dayjust for you and nobody but you check into a hotel and tell nobody where it is and the number star 67 before calling letting everyone know i am ok but i need this time love you and if you love me you will respect this. Love