5-1-08

Well I haven't lost a thing in a month, but I'm still holding my own. I guess I should be happy about that. I'm still wondering why I make the choices I do with food. I know that I'm addicted to food and I also just love food. I love to make it, eat it and share it with others. I'm doing better about what I keep in the house, I'm now avoiding the snacks in the house. I don't have any chips that I like in the house, no cookies either. I need now to focus on protien. They told me to eat more protien and fewer carbs. I love veggies, but I'm trying to cook less veggies and more just protien. I don't eat very much bread anymore, most of the time bread doesn't want to go down.

Well today is going to be a great day. See I say all the right things but turn right around and do just want I want to do, which is usually something to eat, which is not on the diet. I can always over eat on anything that I want to.

I really wish that they would take all food commericals off TV. They really make you want to eat all the wrong things. There is so much talk about food on the TV maybe I should learn to turn the TV off, but it is sometimes my only outlet to the outside world. Sometimes the TV makes me feel as if I will never have a normal weight, because I have so far to go and most people don't make. I want to be one of those people who make it. I want to feel good about myself. I want not to hurt all the time. I want to be out in the world and not feel like I'm a freak of nature.