how much worse?

The last couple of weeks have been rough, and they are getting worse for me. I feel like I'm on a high steroid taper for asthma, but instead of tapering, it's getting worse, and I'm not talking any steroids.

I also look like I'm on steroids. And it's getting worse. When I shampooed my hair yesterday, I had enough leftover hair to make a mouse. I've always had really super thick hair, but now its falling out fast. I'm freaked out, which doesn't help my stress levels.

But probably the most disturbing thing is that I'm turning into a screaming harridan. I am so close to bitting anyone's head off for no good reason other than they looked at me funny. I'm afraid to go out into public for fear that I'm going to really hit someone.

I feel like I've hit critial mass, but things are getting worse.

I've tried chamomile tea, bio-feed back, walking, but nothing is helping. I'm pissed off at the world and ready to pick a fist-fight over a parking space.

This is NOT me! I'm normally so laid back that I'm practially asleep. My husband was 30 minutes late lastnight and I was ready to rip him a new one.

vine's-

i have read your journal for the first time today. it was interesting (and unsettling) watching you morph from excitement and NSV's after your surgery to where you are today....very unhappy and depressed (my interpetation). i have been there. this is the third time in my life i have been at my current weight...i have always been able to get down to 190 or so...and then i gain every lb plus back....it scares me to death to know it could start at any moment...today could be the day i start gaining...it keeps me on edge always...

although i feel great about how i have done so far, this last week or so i have been feeling out of sorts, eating things i should not...feeling not so good about myself...these are all signs that my weight gain is about to start...i am struggling to keep it under control.

with that said, i want you to know that you were one of the people who inspired me and help me to make my decision about getting the band. you cannot give up. you cannot let them get the best of you...you must continue to fight. stop concentrating on the weight loss for now, and concentrate on getting well. i pray that they are able to get your cushings under control. don't do this to yourself. some things are beyond our control!!

lastly, it really made my heart hurt when i read that it hurts you (and other turtles) to see tickers with weight loss on them....i am so sorry it hurts people...but it is just so important to my own personnel journey....it is in no way meant to be hurtful..

i am sending good vibes and prayers your way. i will continue to stop in and see how you are doing!