WHY, WHY, WHY

WHY do I want to eat anything in sight somedays and I have no hunger the other day. I don't understand why I do this. Why can't all days be the same it would be so much easier to lose weight.

Today so far isn't so bad, yesterday I wanted eat everything in sight. I was at the store today, I walked by the cookies and didn't buy any. I really, really wanted to, but I know that I would eat them and that won't help the cause at all. I have to have these small victories, it helps with the self esteem. I did get some more fresh cut up fruit, that seems to help some.

I will over come this weight. I still can't imagine myself thin, wish I could. If I could see myself thin them maybe I could stick to the food plan better. I know I will do better this week.

Next week my DH will be out camping with his high school buddies. They have been doing this for 30+ years. Will they every grow up. It didn't use to bother me that they did this, but then I finally realized that he had spend more vacations with his buddies then he had with me. I really tired of these so call camping vacations, but hes going to do it all the same. I now plan more trips with my girlfriend who isn't married. Most of married women can't seem to get away with this kind of behavior. He doesn't say a word, or he can't say anything about me going with my girlfriend.

Oh well, what I really worried about next week is being alone with myself. I try will hard to be accountable to myself, cause it is really only me that I hurting. I will have to write a lot next week to keep up with all thoughts that I will be dealing with while alone in the house.

I know I can do this, I can only relie on myself.