I'm I just nuts

I really want this to work, but I seem not to work at it.

I just want the weight to fall off and I not have to do anything. I know thats nuts, but thats the way I feel. I didn't have to do any work to get here, why do I have to work to get rid of it. Crazy isn't it to think like that, but this morning thats the way I feel. Why is there days where you do great and then day when I could care less what I eat.

I weight this am and I back up again. I weighted 270.2 ths morning. I seem to only lose when I'm doing liquids. Maybe I should stick with liquids for a while. I don't know what to do.

I have got to track my calories (I do much better and I know I do better when tracking my calories). I have to excersize (which I hate to do, I have never found anything that I really enjoy). People tell to swim, but (I have known serveral people who have drowned). I don't mind walking( I just don't like doing it by myself--dogs you know).

I wish I could inlist my DH to excersize with me, but he hate it just as much as I do. Maybe this is his way of defeating my weight loss. He never encourges me or tells me I'm doing good. I think this journey is on my own. I really want to lose this weight. So I have to stop putting road block up or trying to blame someone else. I have to do this on my own(now).

I really miss my comfort foods. I still eat pizza, but only the topping, no crust for me. I really miss have a great hamburger, no bread for me. Bread seems to be the only thing I can't eat anymore. Everything else is ok. Meat I have to eat slowly or it hurts like the devil.

All the other stuff goes down way to easy. I have had my third fill I'm at 2cc in a 4cc band, but I really don't have a lot of restriction yet. I read where some people can only eat 1/2 cup of food at a time. I can still eat a lot more then that. Maybe I have already stretched my pouch out to much. I don't have a clue, why I do this stuff to myself.

Today is a new day I will try to get a better handle on it today. I will use fitday.com, I will try some kind of excersize. I will drink my water, I know I didn't get anywhere close to drinking 64 oz yesterday, I might have gotten in 24 oz. I don't drink like I should (maybe that is why my weight was up this am). I will start right now with a bottle of water, then will try to eat something for breakfast. This will be a good day.