Is it really happening this time?

After 4 months of rest from Lap-Band removal I am finally staring bypass in the face! April 8, 2015, is my surgery date. I start the preop diet in just 2 days.

I am almost afraid to breathe. What if something goes wrong again? I did not manage to keep my weight at exactly what it was before Lap-Band removal. I have gained 8 more pounds, now weighint 284 pounds, my highest weight ever.

My job ends forever in 7 days. My department was outsourced. These past few months have been nothing but stress, but that too is coiming to an end, just in time for surgery! I will have 8 days to clean my house from top to bottom and read anything and everything I can get my hands on about head hunger. I will also start walking during that time so I am primed and ready to go post op.

This surgery has to work this time. I am terrified it will be the Lap-Band dabaucle all over again and I just cannot let that happen. I need to make major changes in my life and they need to be forever. Considering I am 13+ years clean from a major meth addiction, this should be a piece of cake, right? Funny thing about that piece of cake. It is NOT the same thing. I am not confronted with my drug of choice day in and day out like I am with food. I know this is where I get hung up and I need to find out why and conquer it. I am grateful to have the support I have through this. I am going to need every bit of it.