HEEEEELLLLPPP!!

I did it again...went for barely a week doing really good, then BAM!! Horrible horrible eating ever since the 1st of this month. It is already the 6th. I was so close to onederland and it is like I am sabotaging myself to not get there. Nothing major is going on in my life, basically I am stress free. I did have a long talk about living in the moment with my husband and enjoying everyday as it comes. I do have a problem with constantly planning the future and trying to forget mistakes in the past that I do not appreciate or even pretend to live in the NOW! He talked to me about how tomorrow isn't promised and how I am always so stressed about school or work or family and friends that I never appreciate the HERE AND NOW! I am actively working on this now and I guess in my mind this meant I could eat what ever I wanted since I am not promised tomorrow. How did I translate the talk into that rather than workout and eat right now and enjoy the good health and keeping up good health and living longer for the future you have to work at it now! I'm going to try better starting tomorrow. I'm not going to be so drastic that I can't eat some thing bad every once in a while. But I do really well while I am being drastic because it is about all or nothing with me. Starting tomorrow I will get back on the horse AGAIN! I will stop with the cokes and sweets and I will exercise at least once during the day. That is so not askin much on my own account, only not to slip back into the habits I have been trying to break for over a year now. I have to be down below 150 before I will be able to have children and If I don't start some steady weight loss now it will never happen. I can do this and I have to start now!!